![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Title: Conflict of Interest
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: SPNrps
Pairings: Jensen/Misha, Misha/Mark P.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,899
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Warnings: RPS
Summary: Jensen's new nanny is cute and weird and taken. He tries not to pine and fails miserably.
Author's Notes: Here we have the "manny!Misha" verse from my Twitter. A silly bit of sweetness that I hope cheers up your day!
"Yeah, well, I'm desperate. Whoever they send over is pretty much hired," Jensen says to Jared over the phone.
"I told you, I don't mind taking your kids."
Jensen sighs. "I know you can't write when they're in your hair. Don't worry about it, Jay. This one has good recs." The doorbell rings. "And there she is. I'll let you know how it goes."
He sprints to the door. This Misha better work out. If the twins have to get used to another new nanny, Jensen's going to flip his lid. He grabs her resume off the table and throws open the door.
It's some guy. Some guy in a black leather coat, pinstripe pants and a long red scarf. His mouth is turned up in a wide grin, his bright blue eyes filled with mirth.
"Well hello, handsome," he says.
Jensen gapes.
"Who the hell are you?"
The stranger holds out his hand.
"Misha. I'm your new nanny."
**************
"I thought you'd be a woman," Jensen sputters.
"To be honest, I thought the same about you," Misha comments. "Jensen. It's not really a gender specific name, is it?"
They stare at each other for a long moment while Jensen thinks quickly. Misha's gender isn't a problem per se. The kids are certainly used to a lot of men in their lives. Which is probably the dilemma. They could do with some female influence in their lives.
It doesn't help that Misha is that kind of rough-edged pretty Jensen likes so well.
"Is there a problem?"
Jensen shakes himself. Issue or not, he'll have to use Misha for today. His schedule is full to bursting with meetings he can't afford to miss.
"No, c'mon."
He leads Misha into the living room. The kids are eating breakfast in the next room, but Jensen has some stuff to tell him before he meets the children. He listens for a bit and when he hears no crying, broken glass or thumping noises, he turns to Misha.
"Okay. This is last minute, so I made a list of their allergies, food likes and dislikes, all that stuff."
Misha takes the list and skims it. "Right. So I can keep them alive now. That's good."
"Uh, yeah. There are also all the numbers you need. I can go over everything you need to know in greater detail tonight, but this should be good enough for today. I'll be back at around 7. We can discuss your living arrangements then and what else? Oh right, I'm gay."
Misha's eyes snap up from the paper, one eyebrow lifting up. "Why not just write that on the info sheet?"
Jensen flushes. He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but it'd been a problem for a few of his former nannies. He needs to have it out in the open right now.
"I hope it's not a problem. The children know and understand what it means. I don't want them to hear anything negative about it, not at home if I can help it."
Misha nods. "I promise not to badmouth the gays. My boyfriend would get mad at me."
"Oh."
It's relief Jensen feels. Not disappointment. Absolutely not.
"Good then. Um, let's go meet the kids."
Misha follows him into the kitchen where Paul and Colm are finishing their cereal.
"Hey, guys. This is Misha. He's going to look after you today."
They stare up at him with identical pairs of confused green eyes, the only feature they really share with Jensen.
"Hi," Paul, the slightly more outgoing of the two says.
"Hello," Misha says solemnly.
More silence.
Oh yeah. This is going to work great.
**************
Jensen spends most of the day worrying about his children. Even though Misha really does have great references and the agency screens their candidates very well.
Sure, they did send out a few homophobes, but they were homophobes who could keep children alive and well, so there's no reason for Jensen to worry.
He only calls five times.
By the fifth time, Misha's cheerful "Hello! Ackles Residence!" changes to "Oh god, seriously? You have to calm down."
"They're my kids," Jensen says grumpily. "They're all I have in this world."
"You mean besides a mansion, two cars and a gigantor named Jared?"
"Jared is there?"
"Yeah, he dropped by. The twins went crazy. They’re running in circles in the backyard."
Jensen smiles. He feels better that Jared is there.
"So, is Jared your boyfriend?"
"What? No! Why would you ask me that?"
He hears a crinkling noise, as if Misha is twisting the phone cord.
"The kids love him. He lit up around them. I just figured."
"Jared lights up around anyone or anything," Jensen says. "He's been my best friend since we were kids."
It feels like he's defending himself from Misha. Which is stupid. It wouldn't be any business of Misha's if he were dating Jared.
"What do you care anyway?" he asks irritably, though the irritation should be directed towards himself.
"I thought it might be important information to have," Misha says lightly.
And now Jensen feels like an ass.
"Right. I'll just...I'll be home in a few hours."
"We'll be waiting," Misha says, back to his cheerful tone, which somehow makes Jensen feel even worse.
He hangs up and gets back to work.
Maybe if he hurries, he can be home a few hours early.
**************
When Jensen gets home that night, the house is eerily silent. He's used to being knocked over by his kids and babbled at for half an hour.
"Hello?"
Misha appears before him as if out of thin air. Jensen tries not to jump a foot and is only partly successful.
"Hello, Mr. Ackles."
"What? Oh, please don't call me that."
Misha cocks his head. "You prefer a little role-play?" He gives Jensen a once-over. "You could pass for a Captain Von Trapp, but don't call me Fräulein Misha."
The implications here, both of role-play in general and how that particular relationship ended, fluster Jensen. It's ridiculous. Jensen is the senior vice-president of a major business. Well, the Dallas branch anyway. He didn't get there by letting people rattle him.
"I meant I'd rather not be so formal in my own home. Where are my kids?"
"Ran away."
Jensen glares.
"I'm kidding! I just gave them so much sugar that they passed out."
"What!"
Misha snorts with laughter. "You're wound tight, man. They're upstairs. Reading."
He continues glaring at Misha all the way up the stairs. Sure enough, the twins are in Jensen's home office, both curled up on the overstuffed sofa he bought specifically for them.
"Hey, guys."
"Daddy!"
Colm launches himself off the couch, book tumbling to the floor. Colm is the shyer of his boys and has a tendency to cling to Jensen. He wants both his kids to get along with Misha, but he has to admit, he's slightly more worried about Colm.
"Did you have fun today?" he asks as he scoops Colm into his arms.
"Yeah! Misha gave us books to read. He gave me one about dragons. That's cool, right?"
Jensen nods. Colm loves anything fantasy. "It is."
"Paul's is about cars. Misha is really smart. Can we keep him?"
Colm's huge green eyes plead with Jensen. Over his shoulder, Jensen sees a hopeful look in Paul's eyes as well.
"You both like him?"
They nod enthusiastically. Colm rests his palm over Jensen's heart.
"Please, Daddy?"
There's no way to refuse that.
"Yeah. Of course we can."
**************
Jensen leaves the twins to their books and goes back to find Misha bundled back up in his leather coat and obscenely long scarf.
"They like the books," he says.
"Excellent! I've gotten pretty good at judging the reading habits of kids."
"Yeah, that's good. They love reading."
There's a lengthy silence that feels not unlike the pause at the end of a first date. Jensen scratches the back of his neck. He's overseen corporate mergers. He can handle hiring Misha.
"So we'd like to try you out full-time," he blurts.
Misha resulting smile is blinding.
"Even more excellent," he says happily. "And you'd like a live-in nanny, yes?"
"Yes, I had an apartment added on over the garage just for this reason. I can show it to you before you make up your mind."
He waves his hands. "No need. I already snooped around the house."
"I...oh."
"Just at the rooms," Misha says. "You can trust me to keep all your corporate and personal secrets, Captain."
Jensen sighs. "I meant you can call me Jensen."
"Captain Jensen."
Another sigh. "Anyway, this isn't going to be a problem with your boyfriend is it?"
It's not what he meant to say, but now that the question's out, Jensen realizes how much he wants to know the answer.
Misha, on the other hand, seems surprised. "Mark? Oh no, Mark isn't the live-in boyfriend sort of person. He won't care where I live."
"Right. Although, I'd rather you didn't bring him here. I mean, I don't bring dates home either. I don't want strange men around my boys-"
Misha grabs one of Jensen's flailing arms. "Relax. I'd never bring a man into your home. You hired me, yeah? So, there's nothing more important to me than your kids. I would never do anything to make them uncomfortable."
His grip is strong, his skin warm and smooth. For a split second, Jensen imagines that same grip on both hands, holding him down, keeping him in place as he writhes and pants...
"Right," he says again, jerking his hand away. "Okay, then. If you need help moving your things, let me know. Me and Jared can help you. I've got to..." He jerks a thumb over his shoulder. "You know. Kids. We'll do the, uh, the paper-work tomorrow."
And then he's running away.
**************
Misha moves into the apartment two days later. Since it's already mostly furnished, it only takes an afternoon of lugging boxes to get everything inside. Then Misha kicks everyone out and spends the rest of the night perfecting the set-up of his new home.
Jensen is very clear with Misha that his home is fully his and none of the Ackles will be allowed inside unless invited. So when the very first thing that Misha does is invite them for a dinner cooked in his own little kitchenette, it warms Jensen more than what’s reasonable.
"A tall handsome birdie told me that spaghetti was your favorite," Misha informs the twins, who bounce excitedly in their seats.
Jensen tries not to blush.
They fall into an easy routine thereafter. Misha works Monday through Friday until Jensen gets home. Every Thursday night, he invites the Ackles family into his part of the house for dinner. He doesn’t work Saturday or the first half of Sunday.
He never stays the night at home on Saturday.
Jensen can only imagine he's off having hours of sex with a man called Mark. He doesn't like dwelling on it, but after he puts the kids to bed and he's alone in his own bed, unable to sleep, it's hard not to think about it.
"Daddy?"
Paul's quiet voice calls to him from behind his bedroom door. It creaks open an inch, letting a bright stream of light in from the hallway.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"I can't sleep. Can I sleep with you?"
Jensen smiles. He loves feeling needed. Everyone keeps telling him that eventually the boys won't want to be around him as much. The thought scares the hell out of him.
"Sure, c'mon," he says, scooting over and lifting up the quilt. After Paul gets settled, cuddled up against his side, Jensen pulls him close and kisses the top of his head.
"Did you have a bad dream?"
"No." Paul sighs heavily. "I miss Misha."
"He's only gone for one night."
"I don't like it," he says, the pout obvious in his tone. Jensen hides his smile in Paul's hair.
I don't like it either, he thinks.
"Well, he's allowed to have his own life," Jensen says, ever the responsible father.
Paul huffs.
"He could have a life here."
"Well..." Jensen sighs. "Just go to sleep."
**************
"So I take it everything's working out with Misha?"
Jensen makes a production out of chewing and swallowing his latest bite of steak so he can delay answering Jared. He's suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he's spent their entire weekly lunch talking non-stop about his new nanny.
"Um, yeah. He's really good with the kids. He's pretty weird, but they respond well to it."
"They aren't the only ones," Jared comments lightly.
"Shut up."
"Well, I'm serious," Jared says in a stronger tone. "You seem pretty...twitterpated."
Jensen can't help smiling at that. "Twitterpated?"
"You know what I mean. You're acting like a man with a serious crush."
"He's just...you know...he's cute and funny is all," Jensen hedges. "But he works for me and he's got a boyfriend, so it doesn't matter."
"Are they serious?"
Jensen shrugs.
"I have no idea. He doesn't talk about him. Does it matter? I'm not going to break them up."
"No, I know," Jared says, his smile gentle, the slight quirking of lips that Jensen privately thinks of as his 'sap grin.' "You're too good for that."
He takes a swig of his beer and his sap grin melts into concern.
"On the other hand, it's not going to get any easier to get over a crush when you're living with the man and he's taking care of your kids."
"If you're worried about me getting hurt, don't be," Jensen says, raising his hand to signal his need for the check. "I'm not an idiot. I know he's off-limits."
"Uh huh."
"What?"
"You may not be an idiot, but your heart might be."
Jensen rolls his eyes. "You really are a sap."
"Maybe," Jared says, smiling again. "But I'm not wrong."
**************
Jared is wrong. Jensen's had many crushes that went nowhere and he's just fine. All he needs to do is re-train his mind to put Misha in an 'off-limits' category.
And maybe find a way to get laid.
As he hops up the steps to his front porch, Jensen ponders whether he should call someone he already knows or go out for a new conquest. He's not really much for random hook-ups, but sometimes, they have their place. It's been a long time since he hit the bars. Maybe Jared could come with him as moral support...
His thoughts trail off at what he sees when he gets the door open. Misha is sitting in the middle of the couch with a book open on his lap. Paul and Colm are on either side of him, both fast asleep, their heads resting against Misha's chest.
Jensen's heart squeezes.
A bar. Definitely going to a bar.
**************
"Misha, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Well, not a favor so much because I'd pay you, but well, a favor plus over-time-"
Misha's hand slips across Jensen's mouth.
"Shhhh. Calm down first, then ask me. I'm sure I'll say yes."
The words are spoken softly against his face. While Misha touches his mouth. Jensen's knees nearly give out on him.
"Okay, now speak."
Jensen isn't sure he can. He turns away from Misha to fiddle with his coffee cup, even though it's already fixed the way he likes it.
"Jensen?"
"Yeah, uh, right. So I was wondering if you could work late on Friday night."
"I believe so," Misha says. "Is something happening at work?"
A sip of hot strong coffee steels Jensen's nerves and he turns back around, smiling over his cup at Misha. "Nah, I just thought I'd go out. It's been too long since I dated."
Misha drops the sugar spoon back into the bowl with a mighty clattering sound, startling Jensen into nearly spilling coffee on himself.
"Dating?" he says as if the noise hadn't happened. "Anyone we know?"
Jensen frowns. "No, I meant, I was going to meet people."
"Oh right. Well, that's good," Misha says, his eyes on the coffee he stirs. "Although you know, you should be careful. There are a lot of people out there who wouldn't be good around young kids."
"I wasn't planning on bringing anyone here," Jensen says, a hint of irritation catching at his thoughts. "But rest assured, if I did, it only be after I knew them very well."
Misha doesn't say anything for a long time, just stares into his coffee and stirs his spoon for long after the sugar has already dissolved.
"Misha?"
"I can work," he says abruptly, turning and leaving the coffee untouched on the counter. "Have fun."
Jensen watches him leave and wonders what the hell Misha's problem is.
**************
The bar is hot and crowded. Almost as soon as Jensen walks in the door, he remembers why he always hated coming to these places. He's suddenly violently pleased that Jared agreed to come along. Jared's really a puppy, but if anyone bothers Jensen, he can become the biggest scariest cockblock these men have ever seen.
When he's not busy cockblocking himself. Jensen would feel sorry for the guys eying Jared and barking up the wrong tree if he weren't so determined that he needed Jared here.
"You could score so much in here," Jensen comments and Jared chuckles.
"If I was going to go gay, I'd have asked you out ages ago," he says, looping his arm around Jensen's shoulder and kissing his temple. "I'm going to get drinks. Go. Mingle. Stop looking like I dragged you here against your will."
He pushes Jensen off into the crowd and disappears in search of alcohol.
Jensen seems to be getting as much attention as Jared. He forgets sometimes in the midst of raising kids and spending his days surrounded by stuffy straight guys that he's actually not an unattractive man. The appreciative glances sent his way make Jensen think that if nothing else comes of this evening, it was a good idea for his self-esteem.
"You look a little lost."
Jensen jumps and turns towards the voice. It belongs to a tall good-looking man with a friendly smile on his face. Jensen returns it cautiously.
"I haven't been here in years."
"Ah, I see. Just getting out of a relationship?"
For a moment, Jensen feels threatened, but then he remembers where he is. Small-talk. Getting to know someone. The pre-cursors of relationships and/or one-night stands.
"Um, no. Just haven't had the chance to get out much."
The man's eyes trail from Jensen's face down his body, lingering a moment on his groin. Heat flashes through Jensen, but it's not a pleasant kind. Instead, he feels uncomfortable and embarrassed.
"I'd say not. You'd have been snapped up by now," he says, his eyes lifting to Jensen's face again. There's decided interest in them. He stalks forward, pressing Jensen against the wall behind him. "What's your name, sweetheart?"
Jensen raises an eyebrow at the nickname, but answers without comment. "Jensen."
"Jensen. That's pretty. I'm Mark. You wanna get out of here, Jensen? Go some place with a little privacy?"
His discomfort level skyrockets. This is all wrong. Exactly what he came here for and precisely what he doesn't want. He doesn't want someone random or something fleeting. He wants something that can grow into a real relationship. With someone he trusts and likes.
He pushes Mark back. "Yeah, I don't think so, man."
Disappointment flares in Mark's eyes, but Jensen doesn't wait for his response. He plunges back into the crowd towards the bar where he finds Jared chatting happily with the bartender.
"Jensen! Hey, Kyle here is from Texas too! Can you believe it?"
Jensen snorts. Jared can find a friend anywhere. "Yeah, amazing. Look, I think I'm just going to go."
"What happened?"
"Nothing. I'm just...you know..."
Jared nods and Jensen thinks he does know. He watches Jared toss a twenty on the bar top and shake Kyle's hand, promising to meet him later for lunch.
"He knows you're straight, right?"
"Of course," Jared says. "Bars are for meeting friends too, you know."
Jensen snorts again.
"C'mon." Jared curls his arm around Jensen's waist. "The night is young. Let's go see a movie or something."
**************
Misha is sitting on the sofa, arms crossed over his chest when Jensen gets home from the movie. His expression is oddly blank.
"Misha?"
"The boys are in bed. I take it you had a nice time?"
Jensen shrugs. "With Jared, yeah."
Confusion seeps into Misha's blue eyes.
"Jared? What happened to the bar?"
"Didn't work out."
"Oh."
The silence stretches until Jensen can't take it anymore. But just as he's talking, Misha is talking too.
"I guess I'll go to bed-"
"Are you in love with Jared?"
Jensen actually stumbles mid-step and stares at Misha. "What?"
"I know you told me you weren't dating him and I know he's straight, but...actually, never mind, it's none of my business. Good night."
Jensen catches his arm before he can walk away, grasping him tightly. He's not angry or annoyed, but he needs Misha to understand him. Drawing Misha close, Jensen speaks low, his tone serious.
"I'm not in love with Jared."
Misha's throat moves around a deep swallow, his eyes fixed on Jensen's lips. He nods slowly.
"Alright."
They stay like that for a long while, each looking his fill for an odd moment that seems endless. That is, until the wall clock strikes the hour and Misha looks away. The moment breaks and suddenly Jensen feels as though it were a mere instant. One he wishes he could repeat over and over.
"Sorry," Misha says quietly. "It really isn't any of my business. I'll see you on Sunday."
Jensen watches him leave without saying a word.
**************
In order to cheer himself up, Jensen decides to take the kids out for a special day. When he asks them at breakfast what they'd like to do, their enthusiastically shouted answers declare the science museum the clear winner. So after he gets them fed, washed and dressed, the three Ackles venture off to the excitement of the science museum.
He'd forgotten how fun the museum could be. Paul and Colm drag him all over the building, pointing excitedly at displays of dinosaur bones and weather systems and nineteenth century machinery. The place is crowded with parents and kids, some of whom the twins know. Jensen has to fight off the sly suggestions of more than one single mom, but all in all, they have a great time.
Once the twins tire of the museum, they beg Jensen to go down to the riverfront where they can get ice cream and feed the ducks. He's never been that great at denying them and besides, he wants to see the ducks too, so they set off.
"What flavor do you want?"
"Peanut butter. No! Strawberry! Um...can I have both?"
Jensen raises an eyebrow at the ice cream man, who nods. "Okay, peanut butter and strawberry for Paul. Colm?"
Colm hooks his finger in Jensen's belt loop and mutters, "Chocolate" into his hip, his face turning bright red.
"Right. Chocolate for Colm and I'll have cookies and cream."
The ice cream man smiles warmly at him and begins to fix their order. Jensen is about to ask how his day has been so far when Paul takes off like a shot, stumbling towards the concrete steps dotted with families and couples.
"Paul!"
Jensen grabs Colm and spares the ice cream man a glance. "Be right back."
The reason for Paul's sudden jog becomes very apparent and while Jensen's heart is still in his throat, relief courses through him when he sees Paul with his arms wrapped firmly around Misha's waist.
"What are you doing here?" Paul asks excitedly. "Did you come to feed the ducks?"
"How'd you guess?" Misha asks, grinning down at him. "Hello, Jensen, Colm."
"Hi." Jensen gives Paul a stern look. "Didn't I tell you never to run away from me in public?"
"But it was Misha," Paul says confusedly. "Misha isn't public."
Misha snorts with laughter. "I should say not."
"It's also Misha's day off. We should leave him alone."
"Oh, it's okay-"
"Here's your sandwich, babe."
Another man is suddenly in their presence, handing a wrapped sandwich to Misha and frowning at Paul. Misha smiles at him.
"Hey, Mark. I want you to meet my boss and his children. This is Jensen Ackles. The octopus here is Paul and his brother is Colm."
Mark reaches out to shake Jensen's hand, but stops short when the recognition now stealing Jensen's breath finally hits him.
It's the same Mark from the bar. The man who asked Jensen to leave with him. Asked him with very obvious sexual interest.
"Oh. Hey," Mark says nervously, glancing quickly at Misha.
Jensen's blood boils. He grips Mark's hand tightly and squeezes as hard as he can.
"So nice to meet you, Mark," he grunts. "We'll just leave you two alone. Paul, come on."
His hard tone leaves no room for refusal. Paul slips away from Misha, coming to Jensen's side and frowning at his father as they march away from Misha and his asshole boyfriend without another word.
Because otherwise, Jensen’s actions would get him arrested.
**************
Jensen sits forward on his couch; his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together and watches Misha's face closely. Shock has stolen all other emotion from Misha's normally expressive eyes.
"Misha? Should I not have told you?"
"No," Misha says immediately. "No, you should have told me."
He's relieved Misha agrees, but truth be told, Jensen knows he couldn't have kept Mark's indiscretion a secret. Not since it meant the possibility of the greater hurt if Misha actually found him with someone.
"I mean, if he's doing that...something must be wrong-"
"He cheated on you, Misha," Jensen interrupts, anger flaring. "If something is wrong, you talk. You don't go looking for someone else."
Misha still hasn't looked at him. His eyes are firmly fixed on his clenched fists in his lap. Jensen wishes he were allowed to comfort. That wouldn't confuse Misha further if Jensen scooped him up in his arms and held him close.
"I need to talk to him. He's not...we were never exactly the greatest love story ever told, but he wasn't that." His gaze suddenly snaps up to Jensen's face. "I need to talk to him."
Jensen nods. "I can stay home today."
"Oh, no." Misha fidgets in his seat. "No, I can wait until tonight."
The way he's wringing his hands and twitching, Jensen greatly doubts that. In this state, he'd be distracted and upset all day, which would in turn upset the kids.
"I don't mind, Misha. In fact, I insist. Just go and...sort it out," he says, though the words dearly want to get caught in his throat.
But if repairing his relationship with Mark makes Misha happy, Jensen will grin and bear it.
"I don't want to," Misha confesses in a small voice. "I mean, I do, but..."
But everything's going to change.
Jensen can't help himself. He stands and drags Misha up to envelop him in a hug. There's a terrifying moment where Misha is stiff in his arms, when Jensen worries he's made a mistake, but then Misha relaxes so completely that Jensen is practically holding him up.
"I just...I think I know how I hurt him," Misha says miserably, his face tucked against Jensen's collar.
Jensen holds him tight.
**************
Jensen's just as nervous as Misha would have been. The kids do pick up on it, but he's had years of practice hiding his negative emotions to protect his kids. They're worried about Misha's 'doctor's appointment', but overjoyed to have Daddy home when they get back from school, so it's easy enough to distract them.
When Misha doesn't come back before their bedtime, the twins' concern becomes a little harder to repress.
"What if the doctor found something bad?" Colm asks worriedly as Jensen pulls the blanket over him.
"I think it was just a check-up," Jensen says vaguely. He hates lying to the children, but telling them that Misha went to talk to his cheating boyfriend is out of the question.
"Then why isn't he back?" Paul demands from his bed.
"Because I gave him the whole day off. He probably went to visit some friends," Jensen explains.
"He never does that," Paul complains. "He stays here all the time."
Jensen pauses in the middle of smoothing Colm's blanket down.
It's true. Misha rarely went anywhere else. Jensen knew he hadn't been living in LA for long and that most of his friends were people he met through Mark.
Guilt flashes through Jensen. Intellectually, he knows it's not his fault that Mark hit on him, but he can't help feeling partly responsible for the fact that Misha might lose everyone he knows.
Unless, of course, they make up.
"Well, he did today," Jensen finally says. "Now it's time to sleep."
The boys whine and moan as usual and Jensen has to put them back to bed twice before they actually fall asleep.
Then he goes to wait for Misha in the living room.
Presumably, he's watching a re-run of NCIS, but even Jensen's not dense enough to pretend it's not a cover for waiting up for Misha. Even if he's not sure Misha's coming back that night.
He's halfway through an episode of NCIS:LA when a key rattles in the door. Jensen turns the volume down, but not all the way off so that he’s not entirely obvious.
"Hey," Misha says when he gets inside. He sounds tired and his expression is melancholy, but any evidence of that morning's shocked disbelief is gone. He doesn't look devastated, just...sad.
"Hey."
He wants to ask how it went, but knows it's none of his business. So he settles on, "Are you okay?"
"Better than I thought."
Misha flops down on the couch next to him and sighs.
"We broke up."
Relief wars with his displeasure and, Jensen's not ashamed to admit, relief wins. Still, he hates seeing Misha upset.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah. But it was inevitable, you know?"
Jensen peers at him. "Was it?"
"Yeah. You see, I was cheating on him too."
Surprise jerks Jensen into sitting up. Jealousy explodes through him, hot and angry, shocking him even more than Misha's announcement.
"What?"
"You give me Saturdays off," Misha says, not looking at Jensen. "But I have my nights free. I never went to him. I always stayed here."
"I don't understand."
"Don't you?"
Misha moves his hand, curling his little finger around Jensen's.
"I stayed with the people I wanted to stay with. Maybe it wasn't physical cheating, but it must have felt the same."
Jensen can barely breathe. They're barely touching, only just connected and yet Misha's touch feels heavy. Possessive. Too much and not enough.
"Doesn't excuse him," he manages to grunt.
No matter what he says, Jensen knows he'll never forgive Mark for hurting Misha.
"I know. And that's why we aren't together anymore."
"So...what...what's happens now?" Jensen asks. He knows what he wants, but the ball is in Misha's court. After what he's been through, Jensen wouldn't push for more if his life depended on it.
"And now...I guess, I'm single."
He draws his hand away from Jensen, leaving him feeling bereft.
"I started dating Mark almost as soon as I moved here. I think it's time I found my own way," Misha says decidedly.
"I don't know what that means," Jensen says, his nerves making his voice shake slightly. He has a sudden vision of Misha leaving them and going on some kind of soul-searching journey overseas or something the like.
"It means I might go out and meet people on weekdays." He looks up at Jensen and smiles, warm and soft. "But only occasionally. I think I should be single for awhile."
Misha stands and places his hand on Jensen's shoulder, leaning down to murmur in his ear.
"But not forever. Is that okay?"
Jensen can only nod.
That’s more than okay.
**************
One Year Later
"I told you Jared and Jeff would get along," Misha says as he hands Jensen a cup to dry. Behind them, Colm and Paul sit at the kitchen table, working on math assignments.
"I never said they wouldn't," Jensen shoots back. "I said Jared gets along with everyone."
"Yes, but they love each other," Misha counters. "I'm kind of jealous actually."
Jensen snorts. "It's always a bad idea to introduce Jared to people. He sucks up all the good will to himself."
Not that Jensen is really worried. Jeff is fiercely protective of Misha and has been ever since they met eleven months ago. Jensen couldn't ask for a better best friend for Misha.
Other than himself, of course.
"I like Jeff," Paul comments idly.
"He's funny," Colm says in his soft quiet voice.
"Even the kids like Jeff more than me," Misha moans, giving Jensen a wink.
"No way!" Paul exclaims and then Misha is forced to swoop over to tickle-attack Paul and then of course, do the same to Colm.
Jensen watches them from the sink and smiles.
**************
"Not sleepy," Colm slurs even as Misha pushes him down into the pillow. Strictly speaking, it's not Misha's job to put them to bed. He's been off for three hours, but it's been months since anyone paid attention to things like that.
Sometimes Jensen has to forcibly remind himself that Misha isn't his live-in boyfriend.
"I know you aren't," Misha says, smoothing Colm's bangs off his forehead. "But do me a favor. Shut your eyes and count to twenty-five."
"One. Two. Three."
He's asleep by eight. Paul is already snoring across the room, snuggled up with the stuffed killer whale Misha bought him. Jensen kisses both boys goodnight and meets Misha in the hallway.
"I love the number trick-"
And then Misha is kissing him.
There in the hallway, one hand clasping Jensen's, Misha leans in and kisses him firmly on the mouth. It's a sweet kiss, a connection of familiarity rather than passion, but it starts heat growing in Jensen's belly and he knows, one moment more and it could turn into every fantasy he's had in the last year and a half.
"Misha?"
"Done waiting now," he says against Jensen's mouth. "I think I was done a long time ago, but I hated the thought of changing anything."
"You don't hate it now?"
"No, I just realized something." He pulls back enough to look Jensen in the eye. "I love you. The only thing that would change is that we'd be fucking."
The heat flares and Jensen swallows hard.
"Yeah?"
Misha kisses him again.
"Not until you say it back."
Jensen grins and wraps his arms fully around Misha, pressing them so very close.
"I love you, too."
**************
The first thought in Jensen's mind is holy fuck, we overslept. He opens his eyes to see Colm's wide and staring.
"Daddy?"
Jensen silently thanks God that they bothered covering up. "Yeah, baby?"
"Are you going to marry Misha?"
Misha turns over and slides his arm over Jensen's waist. "Yes," he answers for Jensen, his voice raspy. "Now go eat cereal."
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: SPNrps
Pairings: Jensen/Misha, Misha/Mark P.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 5,899
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Warnings: RPS
Summary: Jensen's new nanny is cute and weird and taken. He tries not to pine and fails miserably.
Author's Notes: Here we have the "manny!Misha" verse from my Twitter. A silly bit of sweetness that I hope cheers up your day!
"Yeah, well, I'm desperate. Whoever they send over is pretty much hired," Jensen says to Jared over the phone.
"I told you, I don't mind taking your kids."
Jensen sighs. "I know you can't write when they're in your hair. Don't worry about it, Jay. This one has good recs." The doorbell rings. "And there she is. I'll let you know how it goes."
He sprints to the door. This Misha better work out. If the twins have to get used to another new nanny, Jensen's going to flip his lid. He grabs her resume off the table and throws open the door.
It's some guy. Some guy in a black leather coat, pinstripe pants and a long red scarf. His mouth is turned up in a wide grin, his bright blue eyes filled with mirth.
"Well hello, handsome," he says.
Jensen gapes.
"Who the hell are you?"
The stranger holds out his hand.
"Misha. I'm your new nanny."
**************
"I thought you'd be a woman," Jensen sputters.
"To be honest, I thought the same about you," Misha comments. "Jensen. It's not really a gender specific name, is it?"
They stare at each other for a long moment while Jensen thinks quickly. Misha's gender isn't a problem per se. The kids are certainly used to a lot of men in their lives. Which is probably the dilemma. They could do with some female influence in their lives.
It doesn't help that Misha is that kind of rough-edged pretty Jensen likes so well.
"Is there a problem?"
Jensen shakes himself. Issue or not, he'll have to use Misha for today. His schedule is full to bursting with meetings he can't afford to miss.
"No, c'mon."
He leads Misha into the living room. The kids are eating breakfast in the next room, but Jensen has some stuff to tell him before he meets the children. He listens for a bit and when he hears no crying, broken glass or thumping noises, he turns to Misha.
"Okay. This is last minute, so I made a list of their allergies, food likes and dislikes, all that stuff."
Misha takes the list and skims it. "Right. So I can keep them alive now. That's good."
"Uh, yeah. There are also all the numbers you need. I can go over everything you need to know in greater detail tonight, but this should be good enough for today. I'll be back at around 7. We can discuss your living arrangements then and what else? Oh right, I'm gay."
Misha's eyes snap up from the paper, one eyebrow lifting up. "Why not just write that on the info sheet?"
Jensen flushes. He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that, but it'd been a problem for a few of his former nannies. He needs to have it out in the open right now.
"I hope it's not a problem. The children know and understand what it means. I don't want them to hear anything negative about it, not at home if I can help it."
Misha nods. "I promise not to badmouth the gays. My boyfriend would get mad at me."
"Oh."
It's relief Jensen feels. Not disappointment. Absolutely not.
"Good then. Um, let's go meet the kids."
Misha follows him into the kitchen where Paul and Colm are finishing their cereal.
"Hey, guys. This is Misha. He's going to look after you today."
They stare up at him with identical pairs of confused green eyes, the only feature they really share with Jensen.
"Hi," Paul, the slightly more outgoing of the two says.
"Hello," Misha says solemnly.
More silence.
Oh yeah. This is going to work great.
**************
Jensen spends most of the day worrying about his children. Even though Misha really does have great references and the agency screens their candidates very well.
Sure, they did send out a few homophobes, but they were homophobes who could keep children alive and well, so there's no reason for Jensen to worry.
He only calls five times.
By the fifth time, Misha's cheerful "Hello! Ackles Residence!" changes to "Oh god, seriously? You have to calm down."
"They're my kids," Jensen says grumpily. "They're all I have in this world."
"You mean besides a mansion, two cars and a gigantor named Jared?"
"Jared is there?"
"Yeah, he dropped by. The twins went crazy. They’re running in circles in the backyard."
Jensen smiles. He feels better that Jared is there.
"So, is Jared your boyfriend?"
"What? No! Why would you ask me that?"
He hears a crinkling noise, as if Misha is twisting the phone cord.
"The kids love him. He lit up around them. I just figured."
"Jared lights up around anyone or anything," Jensen says. "He's been my best friend since we were kids."
It feels like he's defending himself from Misha. Which is stupid. It wouldn't be any business of Misha's if he were dating Jared.
"What do you care anyway?" he asks irritably, though the irritation should be directed towards himself.
"I thought it might be important information to have," Misha says lightly.
And now Jensen feels like an ass.
"Right. I'll just...I'll be home in a few hours."
"We'll be waiting," Misha says, back to his cheerful tone, which somehow makes Jensen feel even worse.
He hangs up and gets back to work.
Maybe if he hurries, he can be home a few hours early.
**************
When Jensen gets home that night, the house is eerily silent. He's used to being knocked over by his kids and babbled at for half an hour.
"Hello?"
Misha appears before him as if out of thin air. Jensen tries not to jump a foot and is only partly successful.
"Hello, Mr. Ackles."
"What? Oh, please don't call me that."
Misha cocks his head. "You prefer a little role-play?" He gives Jensen a once-over. "You could pass for a Captain Von Trapp, but don't call me Fräulein Misha."
The implications here, both of role-play in general and how that particular relationship ended, fluster Jensen. It's ridiculous. Jensen is the senior vice-president of a major business. Well, the Dallas branch anyway. He didn't get there by letting people rattle him.
"I meant I'd rather not be so formal in my own home. Where are my kids?"
"Ran away."
Jensen glares.
"I'm kidding! I just gave them so much sugar that they passed out."
"What!"
Misha snorts with laughter. "You're wound tight, man. They're upstairs. Reading."
He continues glaring at Misha all the way up the stairs. Sure enough, the twins are in Jensen's home office, both curled up on the overstuffed sofa he bought specifically for them.
"Hey, guys."
"Daddy!"
Colm launches himself off the couch, book tumbling to the floor. Colm is the shyer of his boys and has a tendency to cling to Jensen. He wants both his kids to get along with Misha, but he has to admit, he's slightly more worried about Colm.
"Did you have fun today?" he asks as he scoops Colm into his arms.
"Yeah! Misha gave us books to read. He gave me one about dragons. That's cool, right?"
Jensen nods. Colm loves anything fantasy. "It is."
"Paul's is about cars. Misha is really smart. Can we keep him?"
Colm's huge green eyes plead with Jensen. Over his shoulder, Jensen sees a hopeful look in Paul's eyes as well.
"You both like him?"
They nod enthusiastically. Colm rests his palm over Jensen's heart.
"Please, Daddy?"
There's no way to refuse that.
"Yeah. Of course we can."
**************
Jensen leaves the twins to their books and goes back to find Misha bundled back up in his leather coat and obscenely long scarf.
"They like the books," he says.
"Excellent! I've gotten pretty good at judging the reading habits of kids."
"Yeah, that's good. They love reading."
There's a lengthy silence that feels not unlike the pause at the end of a first date. Jensen scratches the back of his neck. He's overseen corporate mergers. He can handle hiring Misha.
"So we'd like to try you out full-time," he blurts.
Misha resulting smile is blinding.
"Even more excellent," he says happily. "And you'd like a live-in nanny, yes?"
"Yes, I had an apartment added on over the garage just for this reason. I can show it to you before you make up your mind."
He waves his hands. "No need. I already snooped around the house."
"I...oh."
"Just at the rooms," Misha says. "You can trust me to keep all your corporate and personal secrets, Captain."
Jensen sighs. "I meant you can call me Jensen."
"Captain Jensen."
Another sigh. "Anyway, this isn't going to be a problem with your boyfriend is it?"
It's not what he meant to say, but now that the question's out, Jensen realizes how much he wants to know the answer.
Misha, on the other hand, seems surprised. "Mark? Oh no, Mark isn't the live-in boyfriend sort of person. He won't care where I live."
"Right. Although, I'd rather you didn't bring him here. I mean, I don't bring dates home either. I don't want strange men around my boys-"
Misha grabs one of Jensen's flailing arms. "Relax. I'd never bring a man into your home. You hired me, yeah? So, there's nothing more important to me than your kids. I would never do anything to make them uncomfortable."
His grip is strong, his skin warm and smooth. For a split second, Jensen imagines that same grip on both hands, holding him down, keeping him in place as he writhes and pants...
"Right," he says again, jerking his hand away. "Okay, then. If you need help moving your things, let me know. Me and Jared can help you. I've got to..." He jerks a thumb over his shoulder. "You know. Kids. We'll do the, uh, the paper-work tomorrow."
And then he's running away.
**************
Misha moves into the apartment two days later. Since it's already mostly furnished, it only takes an afternoon of lugging boxes to get everything inside. Then Misha kicks everyone out and spends the rest of the night perfecting the set-up of his new home.
Jensen is very clear with Misha that his home is fully his and none of the Ackles will be allowed inside unless invited. So when the very first thing that Misha does is invite them for a dinner cooked in his own little kitchenette, it warms Jensen more than what’s reasonable.
"A tall handsome birdie told me that spaghetti was your favorite," Misha informs the twins, who bounce excitedly in their seats.
Jensen tries not to blush.
They fall into an easy routine thereafter. Misha works Monday through Friday until Jensen gets home. Every Thursday night, he invites the Ackles family into his part of the house for dinner. He doesn’t work Saturday or the first half of Sunday.
He never stays the night at home on Saturday.
Jensen can only imagine he's off having hours of sex with a man called Mark. He doesn't like dwelling on it, but after he puts the kids to bed and he's alone in his own bed, unable to sleep, it's hard not to think about it.
"Daddy?"
Paul's quiet voice calls to him from behind his bedroom door. It creaks open an inch, letting a bright stream of light in from the hallway.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"I can't sleep. Can I sleep with you?"
Jensen smiles. He loves feeling needed. Everyone keeps telling him that eventually the boys won't want to be around him as much. The thought scares the hell out of him.
"Sure, c'mon," he says, scooting over and lifting up the quilt. After Paul gets settled, cuddled up against his side, Jensen pulls him close and kisses the top of his head.
"Did you have a bad dream?"
"No." Paul sighs heavily. "I miss Misha."
"He's only gone for one night."
"I don't like it," he says, the pout obvious in his tone. Jensen hides his smile in Paul's hair.
I don't like it either, he thinks.
"Well, he's allowed to have his own life," Jensen says, ever the responsible father.
Paul huffs.
"He could have a life here."
"Well..." Jensen sighs. "Just go to sleep."
**************
"So I take it everything's working out with Misha?"
Jensen makes a production out of chewing and swallowing his latest bite of steak so he can delay answering Jared. He's suddenly acutely aware of the fact that he's spent their entire weekly lunch talking non-stop about his new nanny.
"Um, yeah. He's really good with the kids. He's pretty weird, but they respond well to it."
"They aren't the only ones," Jared comments lightly.
"Shut up."
"Well, I'm serious," Jared says in a stronger tone. "You seem pretty...twitterpated."
Jensen can't help smiling at that. "Twitterpated?"
"You know what I mean. You're acting like a man with a serious crush."
"He's just...you know...he's cute and funny is all," Jensen hedges. "But he works for me and he's got a boyfriend, so it doesn't matter."
"Are they serious?"
Jensen shrugs.
"I have no idea. He doesn't talk about him. Does it matter? I'm not going to break them up."
"No, I know," Jared says, his smile gentle, the slight quirking of lips that Jensen privately thinks of as his 'sap grin.' "You're too good for that."
He takes a swig of his beer and his sap grin melts into concern.
"On the other hand, it's not going to get any easier to get over a crush when you're living with the man and he's taking care of your kids."
"If you're worried about me getting hurt, don't be," Jensen says, raising his hand to signal his need for the check. "I'm not an idiot. I know he's off-limits."
"Uh huh."
"What?"
"You may not be an idiot, but your heart might be."
Jensen rolls his eyes. "You really are a sap."
"Maybe," Jared says, smiling again. "But I'm not wrong."
**************
Jared is wrong. Jensen's had many crushes that went nowhere and he's just fine. All he needs to do is re-train his mind to put Misha in an 'off-limits' category.
And maybe find a way to get laid.
As he hops up the steps to his front porch, Jensen ponders whether he should call someone he already knows or go out for a new conquest. He's not really much for random hook-ups, but sometimes, they have their place. It's been a long time since he hit the bars. Maybe Jared could come with him as moral support...
His thoughts trail off at what he sees when he gets the door open. Misha is sitting in the middle of the couch with a book open on his lap. Paul and Colm are on either side of him, both fast asleep, their heads resting against Misha's chest.
Jensen's heart squeezes.
A bar. Definitely going to a bar.
**************
"Misha, I was wondering if you could do me a favor. Well, not a favor so much because I'd pay you, but well, a favor plus over-time-"
Misha's hand slips across Jensen's mouth.
"Shhhh. Calm down first, then ask me. I'm sure I'll say yes."
The words are spoken softly against his face. While Misha touches his mouth. Jensen's knees nearly give out on him.
"Okay, now speak."
Jensen isn't sure he can. He turns away from Misha to fiddle with his coffee cup, even though it's already fixed the way he likes it.
"Jensen?"
"Yeah, uh, right. So I was wondering if you could work late on Friday night."
"I believe so," Misha says. "Is something happening at work?"
A sip of hot strong coffee steels Jensen's nerves and he turns back around, smiling over his cup at Misha. "Nah, I just thought I'd go out. It's been too long since I dated."
Misha drops the sugar spoon back into the bowl with a mighty clattering sound, startling Jensen into nearly spilling coffee on himself.
"Dating?" he says as if the noise hadn't happened. "Anyone we know?"
Jensen frowns. "No, I meant, I was going to meet people."
"Oh right. Well, that's good," Misha says, his eyes on the coffee he stirs. "Although you know, you should be careful. There are a lot of people out there who wouldn't be good around young kids."
"I wasn't planning on bringing anyone here," Jensen says, a hint of irritation catching at his thoughts. "But rest assured, if I did, it only be after I knew them very well."
Misha doesn't say anything for a long time, just stares into his coffee and stirs his spoon for long after the sugar has already dissolved.
"Misha?"
"I can work," he says abruptly, turning and leaving the coffee untouched on the counter. "Have fun."
Jensen watches him leave and wonders what the hell Misha's problem is.
**************
The bar is hot and crowded. Almost as soon as Jensen walks in the door, he remembers why he always hated coming to these places. He's suddenly violently pleased that Jared agreed to come along. Jared's really a puppy, but if anyone bothers Jensen, he can become the biggest scariest cockblock these men have ever seen.
When he's not busy cockblocking himself. Jensen would feel sorry for the guys eying Jared and barking up the wrong tree if he weren't so determined that he needed Jared here.
"You could score so much in here," Jensen comments and Jared chuckles.
"If I was going to go gay, I'd have asked you out ages ago," he says, looping his arm around Jensen's shoulder and kissing his temple. "I'm going to get drinks. Go. Mingle. Stop looking like I dragged you here against your will."
He pushes Jensen off into the crowd and disappears in search of alcohol.
Jensen seems to be getting as much attention as Jared. He forgets sometimes in the midst of raising kids and spending his days surrounded by stuffy straight guys that he's actually not an unattractive man. The appreciative glances sent his way make Jensen think that if nothing else comes of this evening, it was a good idea for his self-esteem.
"You look a little lost."
Jensen jumps and turns towards the voice. It belongs to a tall good-looking man with a friendly smile on his face. Jensen returns it cautiously.
"I haven't been here in years."
"Ah, I see. Just getting out of a relationship?"
For a moment, Jensen feels threatened, but then he remembers where he is. Small-talk. Getting to know someone. The pre-cursors of relationships and/or one-night stands.
"Um, no. Just haven't had the chance to get out much."
The man's eyes trail from Jensen's face down his body, lingering a moment on his groin. Heat flashes through Jensen, but it's not a pleasant kind. Instead, he feels uncomfortable and embarrassed.
"I'd say not. You'd have been snapped up by now," he says, his eyes lifting to Jensen's face again. There's decided interest in them. He stalks forward, pressing Jensen against the wall behind him. "What's your name, sweetheart?"
Jensen raises an eyebrow at the nickname, but answers without comment. "Jensen."
"Jensen. That's pretty. I'm Mark. You wanna get out of here, Jensen? Go some place with a little privacy?"
His discomfort level skyrockets. This is all wrong. Exactly what he came here for and precisely what he doesn't want. He doesn't want someone random or something fleeting. He wants something that can grow into a real relationship. With someone he trusts and likes.
He pushes Mark back. "Yeah, I don't think so, man."
Disappointment flares in Mark's eyes, but Jensen doesn't wait for his response. He plunges back into the crowd towards the bar where he finds Jared chatting happily with the bartender.
"Jensen! Hey, Kyle here is from Texas too! Can you believe it?"
Jensen snorts. Jared can find a friend anywhere. "Yeah, amazing. Look, I think I'm just going to go."
"What happened?"
"Nothing. I'm just...you know..."
Jared nods and Jensen thinks he does know. He watches Jared toss a twenty on the bar top and shake Kyle's hand, promising to meet him later for lunch.
"He knows you're straight, right?"
"Of course," Jared says. "Bars are for meeting friends too, you know."
Jensen snorts again.
"C'mon." Jared curls his arm around Jensen's waist. "The night is young. Let's go see a movie or something."
**************
Misha is sitting on the sofa, arms crossed over his chest when Jensen gets home from the movie. His expression is oddly blank.
"Misha?"
"The boys are in bed. I take it you had a nice time?"
Jensen shrugs. "With Jared, yeah."
Confusion seeps into Misha's blue eyes.
"Jared? What happened to the bar?"
"Didn't work out."
"Oh."
The silence stretches until Jensen can't take it anymore. But just as he's talking, Misha is talking too.
"I guess I'll go to bed-"
"Are you in love with Jared?"
Jensen actually stumbles mid-step and stares at Misha. "What?"
"I know you told me you weren't dating him and I know he's straight, but...actually, never mind, it's none of my business. Good night."
Jensen catches his arm before he can walk away, grasping him tightly. He's not angry or annoyed, but he needs Misha to understand him. Drawing Misha close, Jensen speaks low, his tone serious.
"I'm not in love with Jared."
Misha's throat moves around a deep swallow, his eyes fixed on Jensen's lips. He nods slowly.
"Alright."
They stay like that for a long while, each looking his fill for an odd moment that seems endless. That is, until the wall clock strikes the hour and Misha looks away. The moment breaks and suddenly Jensen feels as though it were a mere instant. One he wishes he could repeat over and over.
"Sorry," Misha says quietly. "It really isn't any of my business. I'll see you on Sunday."
Jensen watches him leave without saying a word.
**************
In order to cheer himself up, Jensen decides to take the kids out for a special day. When he asks them at breakfast what they'd like to do, their enthusiastically shouted answers declare the science museum the clear winner. So after he gets them fed, washed and dressed, the three Ackles venture off to the excitement of the science museum.
He'd forgotten how fun the museum could be. Paul and Colm drag him all over the building, pointing excitedly at displays of dinosaur bones and weather systems and nineteenth century machinery. The place is crowded with parents and kids, some of whom the twins know. Jensen has to fight off the sly suggestions of more than one single mom, but all in all, they have a great time.
Once the twins tire of the museum, they beg Jensen to go down to the riverfront where they can get ice cream and feed the ducks. He's never been that great at denying them and besides, he wants to see the ducks too, so they set off.
"What flavor do you want?"
"Peanut butter. No! Strawberry! Um...can I have both?"
Jensen raises an eyebrow at the ice cream man, who nods. "Okay, peanut butter and strawberry for Paul. Colm?"
Colm hooks his finger in Jensen's belt loop and mutters, "Chocolate" into his hip, his face turning bright red.
"Right. Chocolate for Colm and I'll have cookies and cream."
The ice cream man smiles warmly at him and begins to fix their order. Jensen is about to ask how his day has been so far when Paul takes off like a shot, stumbling towards the concrete steps dotted with families and couples.
"Paul!"
Jensen grabs Colm and spares the ice cream man a glance. "Be right back."
The reason for Paul's sudden jog becomes very apparent and while Jensen's heart is still in his throat, relief courses through him when he sees Paul with his arms wrapped firmly around Misha's waist.
"What are you doing here?" Paul asks excitedly. "Did you come to feed the ducks?"
"How'd you guess?" Misha asks, grinning down at him. "Hello, Jensen, Colm."
"Hi." Jensen gives Paul a stern look. "Didn't I tell you never to run away from me in public?"
"But it was Misha," Paul says confusedly. "Misha isn't public."
Misha snorts with laughter. "I should say not."
"It's also Misha's day off. We should leave him alone."
"Oh, it's okay-"
"Here's your sandwich, babe."
Another man is suddenly in their presence, handing a wrapped sandwich to Misha and frowning at Paul. Misha smiles at him.
"Hey, Mark. I want you to meet my boss and his children. This is Jensen Ackles. The octopus here is Paul and his brother is Colm."
Mark reaches out to shake Jensen's hand, but stops short when the recognition now stealing Jensen's breath finally hits him.
It's the same Mark from the bar. The man who asked Jensen to leave with him. Asked him with very obvious sexual interest.
"Oh. Hey," Mark says nervously, glancing quickly at Misha.
Jensen's blood boils. He grips Mark's hand tightly and squeezes as hard as he can.
"So nice to meet you, Mark," he grunts. "We'll just leave you two alone. Paul, come on."
His hard tone leaves no room for refusal. Paul slips away from Misha, coming to Jensen's side and frowning at his father as they march away from Misha and his asshole boyfriend without another word.
Because otherwise, Jensen’s actions would get him arrested.
**************
Jensen sits forward on his couch; his elbows resting on his knees, hands clasped together and watches Misha's face closely. Shock has stolen all other emotion from Misha's normally expressive eyes.
"Misha? Should I not have told you?"
"No," Misha says immediately. "No, you should have told me."
He's relieved Misha agrees, but truth be told, Jensen knows he couldn't have kept Mark's indiscretion a secret. Not since it meant the possibility of the greater hurt if Misha actually found him with someone.
"I mean, if he's doing that...something must be wrong-"
"He cheated on you, Misha," Jensen interrupts, anger flaring. "If something is wrong, you talk. You don't go looking for someone else."
Misha still hasn't looked at him. His eyes are firmly fixed on his clenched fists in his lap. Jensen wishes he were allowed to comfort. That wouldn't confuse Misha further if Jensen scooped him up in his arms and held him close.
"I need to talk to him. He's not...we were never exactly the greatest love story ever told, but he wasn't that." His gaze suddenly snaps up to Jensen's face. "I need to talk to him."
Jensen nods. "I can stay home today."
"Oh, no." Misha fidgets in his seat. "No, I can wait until tonight."
The way he's wringing his hands and twitching, Jensen greatly doubts that. In this state, he'd be distracted and upset all day, which would in turn upset the kids.
"I don't mind, Misha. In fact, I insist. Just go and...sort it out," he says, though the words dearly want to get caught in his throat.
But if repairing his relationship with Mark makes Misha happy, Jensen will grin and bear it.
"I don't want to," Misha confesses in a small voice. "I mean, I do, but..."
But everything's going to change.
Jensen can't help himself. He stands and drags Misha up to envelop him in a hug. There's a terrifying moment where Misha is stiff in his arms, when Jensen worries he's made a mistake, but then Misha relaxes so completely that Jensen is practically holding him up.
"I just...I think I know how I hurt him," Misha says miserably, his face tucked against Jensen's collar.
Jensen holds him tight.
**************
Jensen's just as nervous as Misha would have been. The kids do pick up on it, but he's had years of practice hiding his negative emotions to protect his kids. They're worried about Misha's 'doctor's appointment', but overjoyed to have Daddy home when they get back from school, so it's easy enough to distract them.
When Misha doesn't come back before their bedtime, the twins' concern becomes a little harder to repress.
"What if the doctor found something bad?" Colm asks worriedly as Jensen pulls the blanket over him.
"I think it was just a check-up," Jensen says vaguely. He hates lying to the children, but telling them that Misha went to talk to his cheating boyfriend is out of the question.
"Then why isn't he back?" Paul demands from his bed.
"Because I gave him the whole day off. He probably went to visit some friends," Jensen explains.
"He never does that," Paul complains. "He stays here all the time."
Jensen pauses in the middle of smoothing Colm's blanket down.
It's true. Misha rarely went anywhere else. Jensen knew he hadn't been living in LA for long and that most of his friends were people he met through Mark.
Guilt flashes through Jensen. Intellectually, he knows it's not his fault that Mark hit on him, but he can't help feeling partly responsible for the fact that Misha might lose everyone he knows.
Unless, of course, they make up.
"Well, he did today," Jensen finally says. "Now it's time to sleep."
The boys whine and moan as usual and Jensen has to put them back to bed twice before they actually fall asleep.
Then he goes to wait for Misha in the living room.
Presumably, he's watching a re-run of NCIS, but even Jensen's not dense enough to pretend it's not a cover for waiting up for Misha. Even if he's not sure Misha's coming back that night.
He's halfway through an episode of NCIS:LA when a key rattles in the door. Jensen turns the volume down, but not all the way off so that he’s not entirely obvious.
"Hey," Misha says when he gets inside. He sounds tired and his expression is melancholy, but any evidence of that morning's shocked disbelief is gone. He doesn't look devastated, just...sad.
"Hey."
He wants to ask how it went, but knows it's none of his business. So he settles on, "Are you okay?"
"Better than I thought."
Misha flops down on the couch next to him and sighs.
"We broke up."
Relief wars with his displeasure and, Jensen's not ashamed to admit, relief wins. Still, he hates seeing Misha upset.
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah. But it was inevitable, you know?"
Jensen peers at him. "Was it?"
"Yeah. You see, I was cheating on him too."
Surprise jerks Jensen into sitting up. Jealousy explodes through him, hot and angry, shocking him even more than Misha's announcement.
"What?"
"You give me Saturdays off," Misha says, not looking at Jensen. "But I have my nights free. I never went to him. I always stayed here."
"I don't understand."
"Don't you?"
Misha moves his hand, curling his little finger around Jensen's.
"I stayed with the people I wanted to stay with. Maybe it wasn't physical cheating, but it must have felt the same."
Jensen can barely breathe. They're barely touching, only just connected and yet Misha's touch feels heavy. Possessive. Too much and not enough.
"Doesn't excuse him," he manages to grunt.
No matter what he says, Jensen knows he'll never forgive Mark for hurting Misha.
"I know. And that's why we aren't together anymore."
"So...what...what's happens now?" Jensen asks. He knows what he wants, but the ball is in Misha's court. After what he's been through, Jensen wouldn't push for more if his life depended on it.
"And now...I guess, I'm single."
He draws his hand away from Jensen, leaving him feeling bereft.
"I started dating Mark almost as soon as I moved here. I think it's time I found my own way," Misha says decidedly.
"I don't know what that means," Jensen says, his nerves making his voice shake slightly. He has a sudden vision of Misha leaving them and going on some kind of soul-searching journey overseas or something the like.
"It means I might go out and meet people on weekdays." He looks up at Jensen and smiles, warm and soft. "But only occasionally. I think I should be single for awhile."
Misha stands and places his hand on Jensen's shoulder, leaning down to murmur in his ear.
"But not forever. Is that okay?"
Jensen can only nod.
That’s more than okay.
**************
One Year Later
"I told you Jared and Jeff would get along," Misha says as he hands Jensen a cup to dry. Behind them, Colm and Paul sit at the kitchen table, working on math assignments.
"I never said they wouldn't," Jensen shoots back. "I said Jared gets along with everyone."
"Yes, but they love each other," Misha counters. "I'm kind of jealous actually."
Jensen snorts. "It's always a bad idea to introduce Jared to people. He sucks up all the good will to himself."
Not that Jensen is really worried. Jeff is fiercely protective of Misha and has been ever since they met eleven months ago. Jensen couldn't ask for a better best friend for Misha.
Other than himself, of course.
"I like Jeff," Paul comments idly.
"He's funny," Colm says in his soft quiet voice.
"Even the kids like Jeff more than me," Misha moans, giving Jensen a wink.
"No way!" Paul exclaims and then Misha is forced to swoop over to tickle-attack Paul and then of course, do the same to Colm.
Jensen watches them from the sink and smiles.
**************
"Not sleepy," Colm slurs even as Misha pushes him down into the pillow. Strictly speaking, it's not Misha's job to put them to bed. He's been off for three hours, but it's been months since anyone paid attention to things like that.
Sometimes Jensen has to forcibly remind himself that Misha isn't his live-in boyfriend.
"I know you aren't," Misha says, smoothing Colm's bangs off his forehead. "But do me a favor. Shut your eyes and count to twenty-five."
"One. Two. Three."
He's asleep by eight. Paul is already snoring across the room, snuggled up with the stuffed killer whale Misha bought him. Jensen kisses both boys goodnight and meets Misha in the hallway.
"I love the number trick-"
And then Misha is kissing him.
There in the hallway, one hand clasping Jensen's, Misha leans in and kisses him firmly on the mouth. It's a sweet kiss, a connection of familiarity rather than passion, but it starts heat growing in Jensen's belly and he knows, one moment more and it could turn into every fantasy he's had in the last year and a half.
"Misha?"
"Done waiting now," he says against Jensen's mouth. "I think I was done a long time ago, but I hated the thought of changing anything."
"You don't hate it now?"
"No, I just realized something." He pulls back enough to look Jensen in the eye. "I love you. The only thing that would change is that we'd be fucking."
The heat flares and Jensen swallows hard.
"Yeah?"
Misha kisses him again.
"Not until you say it back."
Jensen grins and wraps his arms fully around Misha, pressing them so very close.
"I love you, too."
**************
The first thought in Jensen's mind is holy fuck, we overslept. He opens his eyes to see Colm's wide and staring.
"Daddy?"
Jensen silently thanks God that they bothered covering up. "Yeah, baby?"
"Are you going to marry Misha?"
Misha turns over and slides his arm over Jensen's waist. "Yes," he answers for Jensen, his voice raspy. "Now go eat cereal."
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 02:47 am (UTC)Jensen silently thanks God that they bothered covering up. "Yeah, baby?"
"Are you going to marry Misha?"
Misha turns over and slides his arm over Jensen's waist. "Yes," he answers for Jensen, his voice raspy. "Now go eat cereal."
YEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
This was awesome. Completely awesome!
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 03:13 am (UTC)Misha nods. "I promise not to badmouth the gays. My boyfriend would get mad at me."
...and when I read those lines I knew this was a story I would adore. Your Misha is, of course, irresistable, and the two of them are brilliant together. What a great scenario, beautifully done.
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 03:33 am (UTC)I also like the nice little hints at sexytiemz ;)
and of course, the ending is hilarious *G*
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 03:49 am (UTC)It was adorable and sweet ^^
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 04:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 04:12 am (UTC)LOVED this! Misha and Jensen were adorable together here and (ok, I don't normally read kid!fic) I loved the kids, too! I cheered when Misha invited them to dinner the first time. Poor pining Jensen -- I wanted to hug him (or throw him at Misha). I also liked that Misha took some time off to be himself between relationships because I think that's mentally healthy even if it's a little frustrating when reading about a True Love when we expect our tropes. I like that you tweaked that.
Love your writing and it's always a joy to see you pop up on my f-list. Thank you for writing great stories.
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 05:42 am (UTC)This little story made my day! thank you!
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 06:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 06:40 am (UTC)And yes. There was flailing.
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 08:26 am (UTC)Cuuuuuuute! Gah! erltkghnlierdkbgm.tehd *flail*
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 08:37 am (UTC)/faints
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 09:37 am (UTC)I KNEW when the guy hitting on Jensen was named Mark that he was THAT Mark, and I'm so glad Jensen told Misha - they're both so decent they deserve much better than Mark!!! And I'm glad they didn't rush it, and I'm especially glad they had a happy ending and lived happily ever after. They did, didn't they? :)
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 12:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 07:29 pm (UTC)*closes it*
*tries again*
Wow. Just... wow.
This was awesome in SO many ways!
Favorite part:
"Daddy?"
Jensen silently thanks God that they bothered covering up. "Yeah, baby?"
"Are you going to marry Misha?"
Misha turns over and slides his arm over Jensen's waist. "Yes," he answers for Jensen, his voice raspy. "Now go eat cereal."
I just want to smish this fic and keep it forever and ever!
no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 10:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-24 10:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-25 12:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-25 09:06 pm (UTC)I can always rely on you to write adorable happy-inducing fic. Am going to rec this. Too cute!
no subject
Date: 2010-11-27 02:47 pm (UTC)This was totally adorable. I love how it all turns out <3
no subject
Date: 2010-11-28 02:30 am (UTC)There are so many things I love about this fic that I don't think I could list them all. I will just say that I really really enjoyed reading this and it has left a huge smile on my face. Thank you for brightening my day :)
no subject
Date: 2010-11-28 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-28 08:31 am (UTC)thanks for sharing :D
no subject
Date: 2010-11-29 11:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-11-29 08:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 11:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-02 02:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-29 07:17 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2011-03-13 04:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-04-08 01:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-05-01 09:45 pm (UTC)Thank you very much for sharing!!!
I love that final scene...That was beautiful!!
no subject
Date: 2011-05-12 01:36 am (UTC)I loved Jensen giving him is space. And, honestly, is there ever a universe where Misha is not awesome? :D
I absolutely adored this. It's like a warm cup on a soup on a chilly day. *sighs happily*
no subject
Date: 2011-06-16 04:11 pm (UTC)Thank you for writing this :')
no subject
Date: 2011-06-24 03:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-22 01:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-10-16 12:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-04 10:28 pm (UTC)(and I also picture Mark to look like Mark Pellegrino, just because)
Colm and Paul are adorable.
And it made me physically ache to watch Jensen pining for Misha.
What a lovely story you've written here.
(as are all your stories, really. You wonderful person you)
no subject
Date: 2012-04-03 11:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-06-09 08:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-06-14 02:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-02-13 02:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2014-05-29 07:24 am (UTC)