FIC: Circle's End, Archer/Reed, 5/16
Feb. 14th, 2007 04:29 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cloudy_ficTitle: Circle's End, Part Five
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairings: Archer/Reed, T'Pol/Tucker
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Paramount. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
qzee. Thanks!
Warnings: Still not deathfic.
Summary: Ten years after an explosion on an alien planet, Jon and Malcolm deal with two very different realities.
Author's Notes: None really.
Malcolm didn’t sleep at all that night. After nearly collapsing in the bar, he couldn't do much more than sit and stare at the picture of Jonathan, drinking in the sight of his lover and faintly answering the concerned questions of the barkeep. Eventually, he gave the pad back to the man, along with his heartfelt thanks. He had a feeling he would never forget the cheerful barkeep, not after he’d given him his hope back.
After he left the bar, he wandered in the streets, arguing with himself about his next step. His first impulse was to go straight to Lawout Hotel. The temptation to see Jon in person again was strong, overwhelming, pulling Malcolm in the direction of the government sector for a few moments. But he stopped himself. He felt out of control, consumed with the need to see Jon again and to touch his face, confirm to himself that the memories were real. But Malcolm hated feeling out of control, always had. So, with no small degree of difficulty, he stopped himself and went back to his hotel to give himself time to think and to prepare. On the way there, he stopped at a news station and splurged on a small pad containing just that one edition of the local paper. Getting back to the hotel with the pad in hand was difficult because he just couldn't stop looking at Jon's face.
And of course, the shock of seeing Jon again wasn't the only revelation Malcolm was dealing with. If Jon had come here from another world, it was very likely that Malcolm had as well, especially given the flash of memories he had when hearing about Earth and its Starfleet. For ten years, he'd lived under the assumption that he was Alearan. He spoke the local language, knew the customs intimately; it was his home now. Finding out that he'd been wrong that front caused his mind to reel.
But it did help him understand why his and Jon's names were so unusual, why no one else he'd met had spoken his native language and why he'd never been able to find information about either of them in the government buildings.
Senara wasn't in her room when he went looking for her, so he decided to wait for her return and for morning. He felt sure that once he spoke with her, he’d be more calm and in control of himself.
Felt sure, that is, until he thought of Jon being so close, so tantalizingly close and then his heart would begin to race and he’d have a hard time keeping the stupid grin off his face. The thought of gathering Jon into his arms and resting his head on those broad shoulders finally, after dreaming about it for so long was enough to make him want to leave his room right then and go to him, even if it was the middle of the night.
But the part of Malcolm that wanted to be composed when seeing Jon would take over yet again and he’d resist the temptation.
And so, he took to pacing around the small room, knowing that sleep wouldn’t come to him that night.
Unfortunately, that meant he had nothing else to do, but think. His thoughts settled firmly on the first moment Jon saw him and how he would react, on whether his face would reflect the joy that would surely grace Malcolm’s features. He tried to plan for different reactions because as much as he loved Jon, he honestly couldn’t remember much about the man. Would he be unable to talk? Would he fall to his knees? Or maybe even faint?
As the night wore on, Malcolm’s shocked joy slowly began to calm, becoming softer, not quite as overwhelming. It made him feel more in control, but it also allowed doubt to creep in. It made him remember the years of nagging neglect that Malcolm had always tried so hard to push out of his mind. The barkeep’s words sounded in his head, loud and clear.
But apparently, they have a lot of technology, a lot of spaceships...
A lot of technology, better than Aleara, more advanced. Technology that could be used to find someone who’d been lost and the spaceships to get to that person.
Malcolm wanted to trust Jon, wanted to believe there was some other reason he hadn’t found him yet, but it was so hard not to at least consider the possibility that Jon hadn’t found him because he didn’t want to find him. The thought led to other, darker thoughts.
Perhaps Malcolm couldn’t remember his past because Jon had left him already. Maybe remembering was just too painful and Malcolm’s mind had shut off the memories to save himself from it.
The notion didn't feel right. The only negative emotion Malcolm had ever experienced while thinking about Jon was a helpless despair at having been separated from him. As well, of course, as the doubt that tried to creep in. Never before had he ever had even the ghost of a memory about their relationship ending or being any other than a source of complete happiness. He had a feeling, from a few dreams and flashes of memory, that there had been a time before they'd become involved when things had been awkward between them, but that was hardly unusual, right? It was difficult, if not impossible to remember what the problems between them had been, but obviously they'd been cleared up if the dreams of tenderness and love were anything to go by.
But then, if his mind truly did shut the memories tightly away, that would mean the potentially devastating recollection of Jon leaving him would be impossible to remember.
It wasn't long before Malcolm felt angry and frustrated at the endless cycle of happiness turning into fear and doubt and then back into happiness. He had little choice, but to spend the night wearing down the dingy brown carpet of his hotel room and constantly checking Senara's room for her return.
She did not come back until very early the next morning, a wide tired grin on her face, her arms wrapped firmly around Talin's waist. Both looked incredibly worn out, but very pleased, obviously having spent the night out with friends from the village. Malcolm happened to be walking towards her room when they came around the corner and the look on his face must have reflected some of what he was feeling because as soon as she saw him, the smile fell from hers and she released Talin in order to go to him.
"Dad? Dad, what's happened?"
Although he'd been anxiously awaiting her return, seeing her now was almost a shock and he didn't quite know how to tell her what he'd discovered.
"Senara...I..."
Talin's light tan eyes narrowed in concern. "Are you feeling well, Master Reed? Maybe you should sit." He opened his and Senara's room quickly and ushered everyone inside, taking care to pull out a chair for Malcolm and get him a glass of water. The action, so similar to the barkeep, finally unlocked Malcolm's tongue. Senara had knelt down before him, confusion and fear in her eyes, and he grabbed her by the upper arms.
"Senara," he whispered. "It's Jon. I found him."
Shocked amazement filled her lovely face. "Oh Dad. Dad! Are you serious?" She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her in a big hug. Over her shoulder, Malcolm could see Talin giving them a perplexed look. That's when he realized he and Senara had unconsciously slipped into Malcolm's language.
"It's my friend, Jon," he said to him in Alearan. "I've finally found him."
It was no secret that Malcolm had lost his memory and was looking for one man in particular, but no one other than Senara knew what Jon really meant to Malcolm. He sometimes wondered if they suspected given the enthusiasm with which he searched for Jon, but at that moment, he didn't care if everyone knew.
"Master Reed! That's wonderful!"
Senara finally pulled back out of the hug, excitement flushing her face to a rosy red. "Where was he? Where is he? I want to meet him!"
Malcolm wanted that as well, couldn't wait to introduce the two of them. "Senara, it's...oh my god, it's nothing like what I thought. My past, I mean. He's from another world, elaen, and so am I." He grabbed the news pad and handed it to her. "See? Earth, that's where I'm from. He's here with a delegation from another planet altogether." He wasn't sure he could stress that point enough.
Senara's eyes widened even further as she took the pad, but she didn't look at it, instead keeping her gaze firmly on Malcolm's face. "Another world? You aren't...you aren't Alearan?"
Malcolm shook his head. "No. I don't remember Earth, but it must be where I'm from. I got a memory flash when I heard about it."
She nodded, knowing all about these memory flashes. "I can't believe it. You're an alien!"
Malcolm laughed at her amazement. "Read the article. It can explain better than I can."
Talin bent down over Senara's shoulder and the two of them quickly read the article about the UFP and Jon's part in the situation. When she scrolled down far enough for the picture, she let out a tiny gasp.
"Dad, is this him?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Dad, he's beautiful!"
Talin's face was hard for Malcolm to read. He looked surprised, but his eyes hadn't left the pad, which he read again. There was something else on his face, some kind of tension as if he were thinking very hard.
"Yes, he is."
"When are you going to go to him?" Senara asked eagerly as she stood up again. Malcolm jumped from his chair and began to pace about the room once again.
"Soon. Today. This morning." He knew he sounded slightly unhinged, but he couldn't help it. A maelstrom of emotions swirled in his chest, building he felt sure to a very explosive climax. His nerve endings thrummed with anticipation, his stomach felt full of butterflies and he couldn't quite keep his fists from clenching. At this rate, he'd be lucky if he wasn't the one that fainted when he met Jon again.
"I didn't want to leave right away. It's too much, Senara. It's just too much. I felt like I was losing my mind." He wiped a hand down his face. "I'm starting to feel that way again."
Senara placed a hand on his back, rubbing smooth comforting circles into his tense muscles. "It's ok, Dad. It's ok to be nervous. But he'll be so happy to see you. Everything's going to be so wonderful."
"Yes..." He wrapped his arms around her, suddenly overcome by the emotions he'd been dealing with all night long. Talin quietly moved into the bathroom to give them time alone. Malcolm lifted his cheek from her head feeling grateful that he'd managed not to cry.
"I'm worried, elaen," he whispered, but it wasn't quite the truth. The truth was that he was terrified. But he didn't think he could admit to it, even to Senara. "I'm worried he doesn't want me anymore."
Senara lifted her small brown hand to his face and gently cupped his cheek. "Why would you think that, Father?"
"You read the article. Earth has so much technology. How could he not find me?" His voice wavered and he hated how it made him sound. Anger at himself added another layer of discomfort to his already twisted insides.
"But Blaen doesn't have technology, Dad," Senara reminded him quietly. "If you really aren't from Aleara, you wouldn't be in the records. Maybe he did look and couldn't find you, just like you couldn't find him."
His heart latched onto her reasoning and tried desperately to hold on it. "Maybe." He took a few deep breaths, trying to draw strength from her embrace as he always tried to give her with his.
"Either way, Dad, you have to go to him. Then, you'll know." She squeezed him tightly. "But I just know he'll be so happy. I just know it."
Malcolm had no words for her loyalty, so he just clung to her, feeling his emotions slowly steady. Eventually, he heard the bathroom door open again and saw Talin emerge, his eyes still concerned with just a hint of that previous tension he'd noticed.
"Master Reed?" Malcolm turned to him. Talin pointed to the shuttered window, which was now letting small rays of light in through the wooden slats. "It's morning."
He was right. Morning had finally come and now was the time for Malcolm to gather himself together and go to Jon.
"Do you want me to come with you, Father?" Senara asked.
"No, elaen." Malcolm appreciated her offer, but this was something he had to do by himself. "I'd rather go alone."
Resignation filled her face. She was used to Malcolm wanting to do things alone. He took her hands in his. "I'll tell you immediately what happens, ok?"
"Ok." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Luck be with you, Father."
Talin walked towards him and kissed his cheek as well. "Luck be with you, Master Reed," he said sincerely, though he couldn't possibly know how important this meeting truly was.
"Thank you, both."
Talin and Senara walked him as far as the front door of their hotel, where Senara gave him an extra hug before he set off to the Lawout Grand. Malcolm wasn't exactly sure where it was located, so he stopped at the news station he'd bought the newspaper issue from and purchased a small map. Once he'd figured it out, he started in the correct direction, noting dispassionately that without public transit, the journey would likely take nearly an hour. During that time, he valiantly pushed away the fears and doubts, choosing instead to concentrate once again on what he'd say. The only thing of any use that came to mind was simply to tell Jon how much he loved him and how very much he'd missed him all these years. Hopefully, that would be enough to get started with.
The hour flew by, partly because Malcolm couldn't stop himself from walking much faster than he normally would. The Lawout was a gigantic structure, pure white in the morning sun, with large columns on either side of the entrance. The large glass double doors were being watched by two men in light purple uniforms. Malcolm nodded at them as he entered and though they nodded back politely enough, but he didn't miss the way their eyes narrowed at his simple clothing. Still, they didn't stop him from going in, so he really didn't care if they thought less of him for being a farmer.
Inside the lobby, there was a long counter set along the back wall, manned by several well dressed Alearans. Malcolm walked up to the first un-engaged attendant, a young woman with long blond hair spilling down her back in tight curls.
"May I help you, Master?"
She too gave him a once-over, taking in his well-worn outfit. Malcolm ignored it again and swallowed back a sudden jolt of nerves.
"I'd like to speak to Admiral Jonathan Archer, please."
She raised an elegant eyebrow. "I'm sorry, Master, but the Admiral has requested no interruptions."
Not surprising really, given that he was here on business. But Malcolm hadn't come this far to be turned back now.
"I'm sure he has, but this is very important. A matter of life and death really. If you could just call him and tell him Malcolm Reed wishes to speak with him, I would appreciate it." She started to protest, but Malcolm cut her off. "If he says he won't see me, I promise to leave quietly. But Mistress," he leaned a bit forward and allowed the turmoil he'd been feeling all day to show on his face. "I can't explain to you how important this is. I won't leave until you contact him."
A flicker of something like fear crossed her face, surprising Malcolm. He hadn't intended to frighten her and surely had no intention of hurting anyone. Still, if it made her call, he could handle the guilt.
"Yes, sir." She flicked her gaze to the wall quickly, more quickly than most people would notice, but Malcolm was not most people. He followed her gaze to see that she had alerted one of the security guards. The man didn't move, except to tense. Fine, Malcolm thought. Let them watch me. As long as she calls.
The attendant picked up a small round device, put it over a hand held unit and pressed a few buttons on the computer in front of her. Malcolm pondered its purpose until it occurred to him that Jonathan probably didn't know Alearan and that the device might be a translator of some kind.
"Admiral Archer? This is Yoiru from the lobby. I'm terribly sorry to bother you."
Malcolm heard a voice on the other line, too small to understand the words, but loud enough for him to tell it was Jon's. His heart leapt at the sound.
"There's someone here to see you. He says it's a matter of life and death." A pause, more speaking, a bit louder. "He didn't say what, sir, but he said to tell you his name is Malcolm Reed."
For an instant there was silence on the line before the voice was back, more quiet than before.
"Yes, sir. Shall I tell him to wait in the lobby?" The attendant asked.
Suddenly the voice was loud, almost shouting, though Malcolm still couldn't quite catch it. His words sounded angry and Malcolm's stomach dropped. The attendent's dark brown eyes widened at the words and she looked rather shocked.
"Yes, sir. Of course, sir. I'll tell him. Thank you."
She placed the unit back in its holder and looked at him with much more interest than she had so far. "He wishes for you to remain in conference room one. I'll show you the way."
Malcolm's nerves shot up at her words. In just a few short moments, he would be seeing Jon again. After years of frustration and pent up desire, he would finally be seeing his lost lover. For just a moment, he couldn't follow, unable to do much more than stand there, swallowing back his anticipation and trying to calm his wildly beating heart.
"Master?"
She stood at the end of counter, a questioning look in her eyes.
"Yes, coming."
They walked into the main part of the hotel, quickly stopping in front of a door with the Alearan symbol for the number one on it.
"Here it is, Master. Is there anything else I can get for you?"
Malcolm thought it was possible she was stalling, hoping to catch their meeting, but he wasn't going to let that happen.
"No, thank you."
He walked past her into the conference room and firmly shut the door behind him. The room was fairly large and contained one giant table surrounded by a few dozen comfortable looking chairs. Malcolm considered sitting, but decided he wouldn't be able to stay that way. Instead, he walked around the room, taking in every inch of it, trying for some reason to decide all the possible ways he could escape from it if the door was blocked. His mind was thus employed when he heard a slamming noise from behind him. He spun around, his defenses automatically raised, but what he saw made him drop his hands and the blood rush to his head.
Jon stood at the entrance of the room, his hand still on the door he'd flung open. Their eyes met and Malcolm felt sure his heart had stopped dead in his chest. Jon's mouth fell open, the shock in his expression seeming almost unnaturally intense. He lifted a hand to halfway to his face and Malcolm could see that he was trembling.
"Mal...?"
Malcolm's eyes fell shut. Jon's voice, his gorgeous tenor voice, was filled with abject horror, absolute dismay. Malcolm thought he might be sick, right here in front of Jon. He clutched his stomach, his disappointment and despair blurring his vision, making it difficult to stand. All those years spent dreaming of Jon had been for nothing, all the fears had come true.
Jon hadn't wanted him, wasn't happy to see him. Malcolm grabbed hold of a nearby chair to steady himself before looking Jon in the eyes, in his beautiful horrified eyes.
"So, it's true," he choked. "You did leave me."
*********************************
Part Six
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairings: Archer/Reed, T'Pol/Tucker
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Paramount. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta:
qzee. Thanks!Warnings: Still not deathfic.
Summary: Ten years after an explosion on an alien planet, Jon and Malcolm deal with two very different realities.
Author's Notes: None really.
Malcolm didn’t sleep at all that night. After nearly collapsing in the bar, he couldn't do much more than sit and stare at the picture of Jonathan, drinking in the sight of his lover and faintly answering the concerned questions of the barkeep. Eventually, he gave the pad back to the man, along with his heartfelt thanks. He had a feeling he would never forget the cheerful barkeep, not after he’d given him his hope back.
After he left the bar, he wandered in the streets, arguing with himself about his next step. His first impulse was to go straight to Lawout Hotel. The temptation to see Jon in person again was strong, overwhelming, pulling Malcolm in the direction of the government sector for a few moments. But he stopped himself. He felt out of control, consumed with the need to see Jon again and to touch his face, confirm to himself that the memories were real. But Malcolm hated feeling out of control, always had. So, with no small degree of difficulty, he stopped himself and went back to his hotel to give himself time to think and to prepare. On the way there, he stopped at a news station and splurged on a small pad containing just that one edition of the local paper. Getting back to the hotel with the pad in hand was difficult because he just couldn't stop looking at Jon's face.
And of course, the shock of seeing Jon again wasn't the only revelation Malcolm was dealing with. If Jon had come here from another world, it was very likely that Malcolm had as well, especially given the flash of memories he had when hearing about Earth and its Starfleet. For ten years, he'd lived under the assumption that he was Alearan. He spoke the local language, knew the customs intimately; it was his home now. Finding out that he'd been wrong that front caused his mind to reel.
But it did help him understand why his and Jon's names were so unusual, why no one else he'd met had spoken his native language and why he'd never been able to find information about either of them in the government buildings.
Senara wasn't in her room when he went looking for her, so he decided to wait for her return and for morning. He felt sure that once he spoke with her, he’d be more calm and in control of himself.
Felt sure, that is, until he thought of Jon being so close, so tantalizingly close and then his heart would begin to race and he’d have a hard time keeping the stupid grin off his face. The thought of gathering Jon into his arms and resting his head on those broad shoulders finally, after dreaming about it for so long was enough to make him want to leave his room right then and go to him, even if it was the middle of the night.
But the part of Malcolm that wanted to be composed when seeing Jon would take over yet again and he’d resist the temptation.
And so, he took to pacing around the small room, knowing that sleep wouldn’t come to him that night.
Unfortunately, that meant he had nothing else to do, but think. His thoughts settled firmly on the first moment Jon saw him and how he would react, on whether his face would reflect the joy that would surely grace Malcolm’s features. He tried to plan for different reactions because as much as he loved Jon, he honestly couldn’t remember much about the man. Would he be unable to talk? Would he fall to his knees? Or maybe even faint?
As the night wore on, Malcolm’s shocked joy slowly began to calm, becoming softer, not quite as overwhelming. It made him feel more in control, but it also allowed doubt to creep in. It made him remember the years of nagging neglect that Malcolm had always tried so hard to push out of his mind. The barkeep’s words sounded in his head, loud and clear.
But apparently, they have a lot of technology, a lot of spaceships...
A lot of technology, better than Aleara, more advanced. Technology that could be used to find someone who’d been lost and the spaceships to get to that person.
Malcolm wanted to trust Jon, wanted to believe there was some other reason he hadn’t found him yet, but it was so hard not to at least consider the possibility that Jon hadn’t found him because he didn’t want to find him. The thought led to other, darker thoughts.
Perhaps Malcolm couldn’t remember his past because Jon had left him already. Maybe remembering was just too painful and Malcolm’s mind had shut off the memories to save himself from it.
The notion didn't feel right. The only negative emotion Malcolm had ever experienced while thinking about Jon was a helpless despair at having been separated from him. As well, of course, as the doubt that tried to creep in. Never before had he ever had even the ghost of a memory about their relationship ending or being any other than a source of complete happiness. He had a feeling, from a few dreams and flashes of memory, that there had been a time before they'd become involved when things had been awkward between them, but that was hardly unusual, right? It was difficult, if not impossible to remember what the problems between them had been, but obviously they'd been cleared up if the dreams of tenderness and love were anything to go by.
But then, if his mind truly did shut the memories tightly away, that would mean the potentially devastating recollection of Jon leaving him would be impossible to remember.
It wasn't long before Malcolm felt angry and frustrated at the endless cycle of happiness turning into fear and doubt and then back into happiness. He had little choice, but to spend the night wearing down the dingy brown carpet of his hotel room and constantly checking Senara's room for her return.
She did not come back until very early the next morning, a wide tired grin on her face, her arms wrapped firmly around Talin's waist. Both looked incredibly worn out, but very pleased, obviously having spent the night out with friends from the village. Malcolm happened to be walking towards her room when they came around the corner and the look on his face must have reflected some of what he was feeling because as soon as she saw him, the smile fell from hers and she released Talin in order to go to him.
"Dad? Dad, what's happened?"
Although he'd been anxiously awaiting her return, seeing her now was almost a shock and he didn't quite know how to tell her what he'd discovered.
"Senara...I..."
Talin's light tan eyes narrowed in concern. "Are you feeling well, Master Reed? Maybe you should sit." He opened his and Senara's room quickly and ushered everyone inside, taking care to pull out a chair for Malcolm and get him a glass of water. The action, so similar to the barkeep, finally unlocked Malcolm's tongue. Senara had knelt down before him, confusion and fear in her eyes, and he grabbed her by the upper arms.
"Senara," he whispered. "It's Jon. I found him."
Shocked amazement filled her lovely face. "Oh Dad. Dad! Are you serious?" She threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close to her in a big hug. Over her shoulder, Malcolm could see Talin giving them a perplexed look. That's when he realized he and Senara had unconsciously slipped into Malcolm's language.
"It's my friend, Jon," he said to him in Alearan. "I've finally found him."
It was no secret that Malcolm had lost his memory and was looking for one man in particular, but no one other than Senara knew what Jon really meant to Malcolm. He sometimes wondered if they suspected given the enthusiasm with which he searched for Jon, but at that moment, he didn't care if everyone knew.
"Master Reed! That's wonderful!"
Senara finally pulled back out of the hug, excitement flushing her face to a rosy red. "Where was he? Where is he? I want to meet him!"
Malcolm wanted that as well, couldn't wait to introduce the two of them. "Senara, it's...oh my god, it's nothing like what I thought. My past, I mean. He's from another world, elaen, and so am I." He grabbed the news pad and handed it to her. "See? Earth, that's where I'm from. He's here with a delegation from another planet altogether." He wasn't sure he could stress that point enough.
Senara's eyes widened even further as she took the pad, but she didn't look at it, instead keeping her gaze firmly on Malcolm's face. "Another world? You aren't...you aren't Alearan?"
Malcolm shook his head. "No. I don't remember Earth, but it must be where I'm from. I got a memory flash when I heard about it."
She nodded, knowing all about these memory flashes. "I can't believe it. You're an alien!"
Malcolm laughed at her amazement. "Read the article. It can explain better than I can."
Talin bent down over Senara's shoulder and the two of them quickly read the article about the UFP and Jon's part in the situation. When she scrolled down far enough for the picture, she let out a tiny gasp.
"Dad, is this him?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Dad, he's beautiful!"
Talin's face was hard for Malcolm to read. He looked surprised, but his eyes hadn't left the pad, which he read again. There was something else on his face, some kind of tension as if he were thinking very hard.
"Yes, he is."
"When are you going to go to him?" Senara asked eagerly as she stood up again. Malcolm jumped from his chair and began to pace about the room once again.
"Soon. Today. This morning." He knew he sounded slightly unhinged, but he couldn't help it. A maelstrom of emotions swirled in his chest, building he felt sure to a very explosive climax. His nerve endings thrummed with anticipation, his stomach felt full of butterflies and he couldn't quite keep his fists from clenching. At this rate, he'd be lucky if he wasn't the one that fainted when he met Jon again.
"I didn't want to leave right away. It's too much, Senara. It's just too much. I felt like I was losing my mind." He wiped a hand down his face. "I'm starting to feel that way again."
Senara placed a hand on his back, rubbing smooth comforting circles into his tense muscles. "It's ok, Dad. It's ok to be nervous. But he'll be so happy to see you. Everything's going to be so wonderful."
"Yes..." He wrapped his arms around her, suddenly overcome by the emotions he'd been dealing with all night long. Talin quietly moved into the bathroom to give them time alone. Malcolm lifted his cheek from her head feeling grateful that he'd managed not to cry.
"I'm worried, elaen," he whispered, but it wasn't quite the truth. The truth was that he was terrified. But he didn't think he could admit to it, even to Senara. "I'm worried he doesn't want me anymore."
Senara lifted her small brown hand to his face and gently cupped his cheek. "Why would you think that, Father?"
"You read the article. Earth has so much technology. How could he not find me?" His voice wavered and he hated how it made him sound. Anger at himself added another layer of discomfort to his already twisted insides.
"But Blaen doesn't have technology, Dad," Senara reminded him quietly. "If you really aren't from Aleara, you wouldn't be in the records. Maybe he did look and couldn't find you, just like you couldn't find him."
His heart latched onto her reasoning and tried desperately to hold on it. "Maybe." He took a few deep breaths, trying to draw strength from her embrace as he always tried to give her with his.
"Either way, Dad, you have to go to him. Then, you'll know." She squeezed him tightly. "But I just know he'll be so happy. I just know it."
Malcolm had no words for her loyalty, so he just clung to her, feeling his emotions slowly steady. Eventually, he heard the bathroom door open again and saw Talin emerge, his eyes still concerned with just a hint of that previous tension he'd noticed.
"Master Reed?" Malcolm turned to him. Talin pointed to the shuttered window, which was now letting small rays of light in through the wooden slats. "It's morning."
He was right. Morning had finally come and now was the time for Malcolm to gather himself together and go to Jon.
"Do you want me to come with you, Father?" Senara asked.
"No, elaen." Malcolm appreciated her offer, but this was something he had to do by himself. "I'd rather go alone."
Resignation filled her face. She was used to Malcolm wanting to do things alone. He took her hands in his. "I'll tell you immediately what happens, ok?"
"Ok." She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Luck be with you, Father."
Talin walked towards him and kissed his cheek as well. "Luck be with you, Master Reed," he said sincerely, though he couldn't possibly know how important this meeting truly was.
"Thank you, both."
Talin and Senara walked him as far as the front door of their hotel, where Senara gave him an extra hug before he set off to the Lawout Grand. Malcolm wasn't exactly sure where it was located, so he stopped at the news station he'd bought the newspaper issue from and purchased a small map. Once he'd figured it out, he started in the correct direction, noting dispassionately that without public transit, the journey would likely take nearly an hour. During that time, he valiantly pushed away the fears and doubts, choosing instead to concentrate once again on what he'd say. The only thing of any use that came to mind was simply to tell Jon how much he loved him and how very much he'd missed him all these years. Hopefully, that would be enough to get started with.
The hour flew by, partly because Malcolm couldn't stop himself from walking much faster than he normally would. The Lawout was a gigantic structure, pure white in the morning sun, with large columns on either side of the entrance. The large glass double doors were being watched by two men in light purple uniforms. Malcolm nodded at them as he entered and though they nodded back politely enough, but he didn't miss the way their eyes narrowed at his simple clothing. Still, they didn't stop him from going in, so he really didn't care if they thought less of him for being a farmer.
Inside the lobby, there was a long counter set along the back wall, manned by several well dressed Alearans. Malcolm walked up to the first un-engaged attendant, a young woman with long blond hair spilling down her back in tight curls.
"May I help you, Master?"
She too gave him a once-over, taking in his well-worn outfit. Malcolm ignored it again and swallowed back a sudden jolt of nerves.
"I'd like to speak to Admiral Jonathan Archer, please."
She raised an elegant eyebrow. "I'm sorry, Master, but the Admiral has requested no interruptions."
Not surprising really, given that he was here on business. But Malcolm hadn't come this far to be turned back now.
"I'm sure he has, but this is very important. A matter of life and death really. If you could just call him and tell him Malcolm Reed wishes to speak with him, I would appreciate it." She started to protest, but Malcolm cut her off. "If he says he won't see me, I promise to leave quietly. But Mistress," he leaned a bit forward and allowed the turmoil he'd been feeling all day to show on his face. "I can't explain to you how important this is. I won't leave until you contact him."
A flicker of something like fear crossed her face, surprising Malcolm. He hadn't intended to frighten her and surely had no intention of hurting anyone. Still, if it made her call, he could handle the guilt.
"Yes, sir." She flicked her gaze to the wall quickly, more quickly than most people would notice, but Malcolm was not most people. He followed her gaze to see that she had alerted one of the security guards. The man didn't move, except to tense. Fine, Malcolm thought. Let them watch me. As long as she calls.
The attendant picked up a small round device, put it over a hand held unit and pressed a few buttons on the computer in front of her. Malcolm pondered its purpose until it occurred to him that Jonathan probably didn't know Alearan and that the device might be a translator of some kind.
"Admiral Archer? This is Yoiru from the lobby. I'm terribly sorry to bother you."
Malcolm heard a voice on the other line, too small to understand the words, but loud enough for him to tell it was Jon's. His heart leapt at the sound.
"There's someone here to see you. He says it's a matter of life and death." A pause, more speaking, a bit louder. "He didn't say what, sir, but he said to tell you his name is Malcolm Reed."
For an instant there was silence on the line before the voice was back, more quiet than before.
"Yes, sir. Shall I tell him to wait in the lobby?" The attendant asked.
Suddenly the voice was loud, almost shouting, though Malcolm still couldn't quite catch it. His words sounded angry and Malcolm's stomach dropped. The attendent's dark brown eyes widened at the words and she looked rather shocked.
"Yes, sir. Of course, sir. I'll tell him. Thank you."
She placed the unit back in its holder and looked at him with much more interest than she had so far. "He wishes for you to remain in conference room one. I'll show you the way."
Malcolm's nerves shot up at her words. In just a few short moments, he would be seeing Jon again. After years of frustration and pent up desire, he would finally be seeing his lost lover. For just a moment, he couldn't follow, unable to do much more than stand there, swallowing back his anticipation and trying to calm his wildly beating heart.
"Master?"
She stood at the end of counter, a questioning look in her eyes.
"Yes, coming."
They walked into the main part of the hotel, quickly stopping in front of a door with the Alearan symbol for the number one on it.
"Here it is, Master. Is there anything else I can get for you?"
Malcolm thought it was possible she was stalling, hoping to catch their meeting, but he wasn't going to let that happen.
"No, thank you."
He walked past her into the conference room and firmly shut the door behind him. The room was fairly large and contained one giant table surrounded by a few dozen comfortable looking chairs. Malcolm considered sitting, but decided he wouldn't be able to stay that way. Instead, he walked around the room, taking in every inch of it, trying for some reason to decide all the possible ways he could escape from it if the door was blocked. His mind was thus employed when he heard a slamming noise from behind him. He spun around, his defenses automatically raised, but what he saw made him drop his hands and the blood rush to his head.
Jon stood at the entrance of the room, his hand still on the door he'd flung open. Their eyes met and Malcolm felt sure his heart had stopped dead in his chest. Jon's mouth fell open, the shock in his expression seeming almost unnaturally intense. He lifted a hand to halfway to his face and Malcolm could see that he was trembling.
"Mal...?"
Malcolm's eyes fell shut. Jon's voice, his gorgeous tenor voice, was filled with abject horror, absolute dismay. Malcolm thought he might be sick, right here in front of Jon. He clutched his stomach, his disappointment and despair blurring his vision, making it difficult to stand. All those years spent dreaming of Jon had been for nothing, all the fears had come true.
Jon hadn't wanted him, wasn't happy to see him. Malcolm grabbed hold of a nearby chair to steady himself before looking Jon in the eyes, in his beautiful horrified eyes.
"So, it's true," he choked. "You did leave me."
*********************************
Part Six
