FIC: Marilyn 1/2, Archer/Tucker, NC-17
Sep. 8th, 2006 03:26 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cloudy_ficTitle: Marilyn, Part One
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jenniferlupin
Rating: NC-17
Beta: Jessica
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount. I'm not making money from this.
Summary: Trip recalls the beginning of his and Jon's relationship.
Author's Note: I wrote this forever ago, so it's technically my first Archer/Tucker piece. I hope you enjoy!
The first time I ever met Marilyn Wilder, I was on my knees with my ass up in the air. I could literally feel her eyes raking over my backside and that was nothing compared to the treatment she was giving poor Jonny. She was an attractive enough person, I suppose, though she was far too slight for my tastes and there was something definitely off-putting about her limp blond hair and her somewhat colorless eyes. But nothing could be as off-putting as her personality.
But before I get ahead of myself, let me back up a little and give you some background information. My name is Charles Tucker the Third, though I go by Trip. This is the story about how one of the most annoying people I ever met changed my life forever. Her name you already know, but I’ll say it again. Marilyn Wilder. Just hearing it sends the dual sensations of dread and gratitude coursing through my body. Strange, I know, but hopefully you’ll understand what I mean soon enough.
Marilyn worked in the Department of Safety at Starfleet Headquarters ten years ago. I bet you didn’t even know we had one. I don’t blame you; I didn’t know we had one either for a long time. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it now. You see, ten years ago was about five years before Enterprise set sail for humanity’s first ever deep space exploration. We were in the very middle of building the ship and feeling our way towards what it meant to even have this sort of program. Of course safety was high on the list of Starfleet priorities and I don’t blame them, but their way of going about it was…well, it was mighty intrusive.
But I’m getting ahead of myself again. Better explain more about where I was and what I was doing at the time. I had signed on with the Warp 5 project about three years earlier at the age of 21. I had spent the year since graduating from Starfleet academy working planet side in Engineering Development, where I met one Jonathan Archer. We hit it off right away, I think because we were both so enthusiastic about the program, though for slightly different reasons. I knew who Henry Archer was, of course, everyone involved in Engineering did, but I didn’t know that his son was as devoted to his father and his father’s vision as it was possible for a person to be. Don’t get me wrong. I admire him for that, but sometimes I wonder how much pain he might have been spared if he just decided to do something else with his life.
But then, we would have never met and I don’t like to think about that at all.
Anyway, the point is, we became fast friends, working late into the night, talking out the kinks in this system or that (though, truth be told, it was a lot of me clarifying to him how things really worked, but I didn’t mind. He was always a great audience). Eventually, we began to meet outside of work to throw a few back and talk about the project and our futures. Jonny wanted to see the project go forward so badly, it was nearly palatable. I can still remember sitting in my apartment or his, listening to him talk about going out amongst the stars and seeing the universe like no other had seen it before. At times like that, it was like the whole world fell away and it was just him, a ship and the black expanse of space. Even then I felt drawn to his enthusiasm. I wanted to see humans go into space as much as any good Starfleet cadet, but it wasn’t until I met him that I knew what it was like to really yearn for something, to actually physically crave to see a dream come true.
It didn’t take long until we began spending nearly every free moment together, whether we spoke about work or not. I can’t remember how many times I woke up on his couch or he on mine, both of us sporting life threatening hangovers. I guess it took me at least half a year or better to realize we’d become best friends. Not that we ever spoke about it that way, but everyone else certainly did. To hear the people at Development talk, you’d think that Jonny and I were connected at the hip.
And I guess we were. So, it was no surprise to anyone that when a position on the project came open, a position that meant I would be working with the actual Warp 5 equipment rather than just schematics, that Jonny lobbied long and hard for me to get it. I would have felt awkward about it if I didn’t genuinely feel I deserved it. What can I say? I’m humble as anyone, but if I’m good at something, I admit it. And I was good at this.
Others thought so, too and to my utter delight I was granted the job. I was doing the work I’d dreamed of doing my whole life and I was spending even more time with my new best friend, Jonny Archer. Life was really good, great even. You won’t believe how many girls you can get just by telling them you’re working on the ship that’ll bring deep space to humans for the first time. I can’t tell you how important that is to a 21 year old guy.
Anyway, life went on, the project became more and more successful and I was promoted to Lieutenant for my contributions. I got to the point where I couldn’t really remember what it was like before I knew Jonny. He was becoming more and more important to me and I didn’t even realize it. Remember that. It will be important later.
That was when Marilyn Wilder came into my life. You see, the project was becoming the major focal point of Starfleet. People began to realize that it was going to happen and it was going to happen soon. The Vulcans could only stop us for so long. And once people started getting job titles (I was known as Deputy Chief Engineer), Starfleet realized it was time to take as much control of the project as possible away from its developers. And the best way to do that was to set up a Department of Safety and to send those damned inspectors. They came on two week intervals and watched every move we made. Tested the environmental controls over and over. Asked endless questions. Basically did as much to slow us down as possible.
Jonny by this time had been named as the vessel’s commander (It had just been named Enterprise earlier that year. Zephram Cochrane had always been insistent that any ship built from his research should be called Enterprise, though there had been talk of naming it Phoenix after the vessel he used for the first warp trip) and he was not pleased with these people. But he also knew that we would all have to put up with them to see the ship get built and nothing was going to stand in his way to that end.
The first couple of people they sent up were annoying, but only because of their jobs. They asked their questions, but they didn’t try and get in the way while we were working, too much anyway. Until Marilyn.
Which brings me back to that day was I was kneeling with my ass up in the air. Jonny and I were in Engineering, working on something or other. Funny, I can’t even remember what it was. All I do remember was that it was mostly me working and him handing me tools and chatting away about nothing and everything. He did work; don’t let me give you the wrong impression. He did tons of things I don’t think I could have handled, like talking to officials and arguing for all the stuff we’d need. I think I would have just decked people after a certain point, but he maintained his patience. That’s why he was going to be Captain.
Anyway, so we were sitting there and in walks this little mousy woman with a PADD and a great wide smile. She immediately looked us over like we were on the menu and I guess she decided to have Jon as her entrée because she sidled right up to him, a simper on her little face.
“Captain Archer?” she asked or maybe purred would be a better word. Neither of us said anything for a minute and just stared at her. She had swept into the room and right up to Jonny’s side and was now standing so close, it was doubtful there was room for even a molecule to dance between them. He backed away just a hair and shot me a look that plainly said, “Help me please.” I’ve seen that look on his face numerous times before and since and I just can’t ignore it. I just can’t.
I stood and walked over to the two of them as Jonny answered her.
“Yes, can I help you?”
She stuck out a small hand and grabbed his in it. “I’m Marilyn Wilder, from the Department of Safety. I’ll be your inspector for the next two weeks.” She said this as if she were announcing that she were giving each of us a million credits and a new car. Jonny’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly and he plastered a fake smile on his face.
“Well, welcome aboard, Lieutenant Wilder.” I’m still not sure how he spotted her rank pips on that shirt. It was definitely not regulation and had some kind of crazy design on it. I’ve seen some of them since then and was told by Hoshi that it’s called paisley. All I know is that I completely missed the pips. Again, that’s why Jon is Captain and I work with inanimate objects.
“Oh please, call me Marilyn. We won’t stand on ceremony here, will we?” She laughed then, a hideous high pitched squeak I still have nightmares about. Judging by the look on Jonny’s face, he was feeling a shiver up his spine as well.
“Of course not. Marilyn it is then. I’m Jonathan and this is Lieutenant Charles Tucker, our deputy head of Engineering,” he said, waving me closer. I could tell just by the way he told her to call him Jonathan and not Jon that he didn’t like the woman.
“Call me Trip,” I said quickly before she could ask. She shook my hand and gave me a rather frank appraisal. Again, I’m humble as the next guy, but I could tell she liked what she saw. But then she turned her eyes back to Jonny and her smile widened. Yeah, she wanted to get her claws into him in the worst way. I thought to myself that it was too bad that Jonny had just broken up with his latest girlfriend. He didn’t always have someone, but he was the type of guy that liked being in relationships (unlike myself at the time, but I’ll refrain from talking about that).
“Well, gentlemen, what do we have here?” She asked cheerily, stepping further into Engineering and peering around at everything. She picked up a spanner and began twisting it in her hands. I quickly went over and as gently as I could, pulled it from her. I could already tell it was going to be a long two weeks. Jonny joined us and began to show her around in what I thought was an amazing feat of diplomacy. Normally when these inspector people showed up and Jonny carted them off around the ship, I just stayed put wherever I was and kept working. But another one of those help me looks crossed Jonny’s face and I knew I was in for a tour.
Marilyn’s smile tightened up when I left Engineering and joined them in the Armory. It faded when we left the Armory and got into the lift to visit Sickbay. By the time, we all reached the Bridge, she looked distinctly disgruntled.
“Oh Trip, you don’t have to stay with us if you have some work to be finishing,” she finally said. She touched Jonny’s shoulder. “I’m sure Jonathan and I can get along without any help.” And then she laughed again, higher and falser than ever. I looked at Jon for help this time. After all, it wasn’t my idea to tail them around the ship.
“Actually, he should be here, Marilyn,” Jon said, his eyes suddenly lighting up with an idea. “I’ve just named him as the mission’s first officer, so he has to be around for official business.” He stressed the word ‘official’, but I barely noticed. I was too shocked by his announcement. “Just named” is right. It was the first I’d heard of anything like that. Sure, I thought to myself, he’s probably just saying that to avoid being alone with this crazy woman, but still…it was something I’d wondered about before, who was going to take that post. And I had to admit, the thought of being the ship’s second in command was mighty appealing.
She turned her eyes on me again, this time with even more interest. Until then, I had thought that her interest was purely sexual, but it occurred to me then that she might be a little power hungry, too. Either way, I valiantly tried to ignore the whole thing and just nodded.
“That’s right. So, ya know, gotta be around for all this official stuff,” I stammered. Over her head, I caught a look of amusement on Jonny’s face. I thought to myself that after this, he better damn well name me first officer.
“Well, in that case, let’s continue, shall we?” She actually took us both by the arm and held on for the rest of the tour. Which lasted far too long for my tastes. When the hell did Enterprise get that big anyway? When it finally ended, I retreated back into Engineering and I think Jonny hid in the Sickbay. Marilyn wandered in and out, taking readings and asking twice as many questions as any of the other inspectors. I’m pretty sure Jim (Jim Jenkins that is, our chief Engineer) wanted to strangle her by the end of the day.
And when that time came, Marilyn managed to be on the same shuttle back to the Jupiter Station as me and Jonny. There were other people on it, of course, but you wouldn’t know it to look at her. She practically sat in Jonny’s lap, chattering away about how beautiful Enterprise was, how much she enjoyed working her job and did we know what there was to do on Jupiter Station of the evening? Her hinting was so painfully clear, I actually starting wincing. Jonny managed to vague his way out of any sort of further interaction with her and after following us all the way to the station’s lift, we were finally able to escape her. Luck was with us that night. The guest quarters are three levels from the residential apartments.
“Oh my gentle Jesus,” Jonny announced once we got the lift to ourselves.
“Tell me about it,” I replied with a smile. Now that she wasn’t hanging off our sides, I was beginning to find the whole thing pretty funny. Especially since she was hanging off Jonny twice as much as me.
“I don’t think I can handle two whole weeks of this,” he said, leaning his head against the lift wall.
“I think I can, seeing as how I’ve been promoted to first officer,” I teased, trying to let him know that I hadn’t taken it seriously. The last thing I wanted was any awkwardness between us. So, I was surprised when he fixed me with a really serious expression.
“I wasn’t kidding about that, Trip,” he said. “I hadn’t planned on asking you that way, but I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have as my second in command, if you’re willing,” he added. I didn’t see my face at the moment, of course, but I’m sure it was something else. My eyes were as wide open as I could get them and my mouth was parted in surprise.
“Are you serious?” was all I could say. He laughed and nodded.
“Hell, yes, I’m serious. You’ve got the right experience, you know Enterprise almost as well as I do and we get along really well. And you’re better with administrative stuff than you think.” He gave me a look. It just figured he knew I would be concerned about that. But there was more than that to worry about.
“I’m only a lieutenant, Jon. Aren’t first officers supposed to be a little higher ranked than that? No one would take me seriously.”
Jonny just rolled his eyes as the lift stopped and deposited us on our floor. “In case you hadn’t noticed, Enterprise isn’t going to be ready anytime soon.” He turned towards his apartment and without thinking, I turned with him. He didn’t comment on it. “I’m sure with your extensive work on the warp engines, you’ll gain a pip or two before then. And as for people not taking you seriously, you already have almost an entire engineering crew beneath you and they all respect and genuinely like you. Besides, I’m the Captain. They’ll respect who I tell them to respect,” he said with a laugh. Both of us knew how well that would work, but I appreciated it nonetheless. We stopped outside his door and he keyed it open.
“So, are you going to say yes or am I going to have to ask someone else?” He asked as we walked through the door. Yeah right, I wasn’t about to let him ask someone else.
“Hell, yes, I’m sayin’ yes,” I said, using his earlier wording to tease him. Jonny smiled at me again and I felt really good then. I can’t remember for sure now, but I think I fell asleep on his couch that night, yet again.
Nothing overly interesting happened for the next three or four days. I went to work, I answered millions upon millions of Marilyn’s questions, joined in a number of meetings I had never been to before, both because I was now the future first officer and also because Jonny refused to be alone with the woman. She tried her damnest to corner him a number of times, but nothing ever came of it.
So, I’ll just skip ahead to the part where things started getting good, which would the afternoon of the fourth day. I had spent the morning cleaning up a panel of burned wires that had shorted out sometime during the night. I didn’t see Jonny or Marilyn the whole morning, so after I finished up, I went searching for them. I wasn’t looking forward to finding Marilyn alone, but I figured if I did, at least she wouldn’t be bugging the hell out of Jonny.
It didn’t take long before I heard his voice, coming from down one of the hallways. I turned towards it, only to stop up short at the scene before me. Marilyn was leaning close to Jonny, twirling a strand of hair on one finger, an expectant look on her face. Jonny was trying his best to shrink back from her, but he was already up against the wall. Looked like I had arrived just on time. Jonny spotted me instantly as I started towards them. He twisted away from her and practically lunged at me and to my great surprise, grabbed my hand.
“I really can’t, Marilyn,” he said. “I didn’t want to say anything because we weren’t planning on telling people yet, but,” and here he pulled my hand up to his chest and cradled it against his heart, “Trip and I are together.”
I guess I couldn’t have been more surprised if Jonny had grown another head and not just because of what he was saying. When he touched my hand, I don’t know, something happened. It felt…different than I would have expected. I mean, I’d touched Jonny before. Hell, during some of our more vigorous games of flag football, I’d tackled the man to the ground. But that wasn’t intimate in the least and this certainly was, especially when he started rubbing small circles on the top of my hand. I tried not to think about it at the time, but I can definitely say now that I was feeling some kind of spark when our hands met in that way.
Marilyn’s eyes went from his face to mine and she sighed. “I knew it. I just knew it,” she said. “I was just hoping you were particularly close friends.” At that point, I tried to shut down my mind completely, but I couldn’t stop myself from hearing what she was saying and comprehending her meaning. I could tell Jonny did too from the way his grip on my hand slackened in surprise. “It’s hard to hide something like that from people,” she said in a smug tone. I was still just gaping at her and didn’t answer. She smiled broadly at the two of us.
“Well, you make a cute couple, at least. Jonathan, I apologize if I put you in an awkward position. I have some work to be getting to. Good afternoon!” And then she turned and flounced down the hall.
I guess it took about a full minute before Jonny thought to release my hand and half again as long for me to let myself try and think. Another minute and I found my voice.
“What in the hell was that about?!”
Jonny threw up his hands and began pacing back and forth. “I don’t know! I’m sorry, Trip, really I am. She started asking me out to dinner and I just panicked!” His face was very red. Poor guy was completely and totally embarrassed.
“How hard is it to say, ‘Marilyn, I gotta girlfriend back on Earth?’ Or how about ‘Marilyn, you’re creepy and annoying and I don’t wanna go out with you?’” I asked with less heat. The only reason I got mad in the first place was to cover my confusion at the way I felt when he touched me.
“I’ll try and remember that next time.” He stopped pacing, groaned and covered his face. “I’m such an idiot. Now, she’s going to think we’re together for the next week and a half.”
Trying to ignore the disturbing stab of irritation I felt at his distress about having to pretend he was dating me, I attempted to offer some comfort. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Jon. We haven’t been actin’ like a couple this whole time. She’ll just think we’re tryin’ ta be professional. You best just hope she doesn’t go and tell someone you’re breakin’ the frat rules.”
“Holy hell, I didn’t even think of that!” He rubbed his eyes. “Well, if anyone higher up gets wind of it, I’ll just say we’ve decided to break it off because we work together. And if Marilyn hears about that and hits on me again, I’ll just say I’m too hurt to date anyone else right now.”
We both laughed at that and I felt most of the tension I’d been feeling drain away. I was still confused, but I was already beginning to convince myself that I was mistaken about what I felt.
“I hope no one else hears about this. ‘Course if they do, I won’t be the one gettin’ all the teasin’.” I gave him what I felt was an easygoing grin and if he sensed it wasn’t natural, he gave no indication of it. He just slapped my back and laughed. I felt a tingle spread out from his fingers and I silently cursed Marilyn’s name.
“That’s true. I’m the one with diarrhea of the mouth,” he admitted.
We parted company then, him to bridge and me back to Engineering. I hadn’t planned on being back so soon, but I couldn’t make myself follow him as I normally would. The little part of me that couldn’t be convinced I didn’t feel anything, I decided to placate by pretending it didn’t happen. The only way I could do that was to get the hell away from him.
As soon as I got back, I set my mind to doing whatever tasks came within range. I worked so hard, I was actually able to forget the whole ordeal, but I’m not too surprised about that. When I set to working with my engines, I tend to get pretty absorbed and lose all track of time. Soon enough it was time to pack up and leave and by then, I felt completely normal again. I figured I could get through the rest of Marilyn’s time, pretending to be Jonny’s…boyfriend.
I should have known I was in trouble with the word ‘boyfriend’ sent a small thrill through me.
A good night’s rest later and I woke up feeling really silly. There was nothing going between Jonny and me, I reasoned. What I felt was just awkwardness at being confronted by the thought of a sexual relationship with a friend I had never thought that way about before. Everything was going to be ok.
It worked for awhile. Until I got to the shuttle that morning. Jonny was already there, waiting on me and so was Marilyn. I reminded myself that we didn’t have to act any differently since no one else was supposed to know and I walked up to greet Jonny. Everything felt perfectly normal as we all boarded the shuttle and took our seats, me next to Jonny and Marilyn across from us. I started a conversation with Jon about an upcoming test we were doing in Engineering. He responded here and there, but it didn’t take me long to realize that he was very distracted. His eyes kept darting across the aisle towards Marilyn and he kept shifting in his seat. I tried to ignore it, but I’m a pretty curious guy. I finally looked over at her and saw that she was giving us a strange look, almost as if she were confused. And so was I until I noticed that the three of us had managed to get a shuttle all to ourselves. It appeared that Marilyn didn’t understand why we weren’t acting more…lovey-dovey if no one was there to see us, but her.
Now, if Jonny and I really had been together and someone had been throwing me that kind of look, I would have just said, screw it. I don’t like changing the way I act just because someone is watching. And most of the time, neither does Jonny, so I can honestly say I was very surprised by what he did next. I think I understand it better now, but at the time, I thought he was letting her get to him.
Well, for whatever reason he did it, the next thing I knew, he had put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to his side, so close I could smell his hair and feel the heat coming from his body. Again, it wasn’t like this was the first time I’d hugged Jonny, but it was the first time I’d been held by him. I hated how good it felt. I hated how much I wanted to relax into his embrace and lay my head on his shoulder. I hated Marilyn more and more.
Marilyn seemed to relax after that, I guess because she wasn’t worrying about whether or not we had broken up during the night and whether or not Jonny was now back on the market. She began prattling inanely and somehow Jonny was able to pay enough attention to talk back to her. I still don’t know how he did it. All I could concentrate on was his hand rubbing gently up and down my arm and the fact that I could feel each breath he took. Each time I tried to clear my head and think about anything else, embarrassing and uncomfortable images flooded my mind, images of me waking up in bed with Jonny’s arms holding me tight or the two of us walking through the arboretum on Jupiter Station, our arms around each other’s waists.
Those thoughts plagued me for the rest of that day and into the next. Each time I found myself alone with Jonny and Marilyn, he would move closer to me or put a hand on my back and once he even took my hand in his, our fingers entwining intimately. It got to the point where I couldn’t think of anything else but Jonny. And I began to notice things about him that I hadn’t before, like how his eyes changed colors with different emotions. Dark green with anger. Hazel green for amusement. Pure green with awe. I nearly dropped a wrench when I found myself pondering what they’d look like when he was aroused. I had to stop working for a full fifteen minutes when he walked into Engineering and my eyes followed his ass rather than his face.
I think that was what finally made me start avoiding him altogether. I guess it was about three days since he’d pulled me into his arms on the shuttle and I had finally had enough. I told myself that Jonny was just a friend, I only liked girls and the only way I could get away from these “unwanted” interactions was to stay away from the man for the duration of Marilyn’s visit. Just five more days and I would be home free.
It wasn’t a bad plan, or so I thought. I hadn’t expected Marilyn’s reaction though. It seems the little magpie was watching us more closely than I had previously thought and my reluctance to be around Jonny did not go unnoticed by her. It was brought to my attention on the second afternoon of my self-enforced Archer fast. I had taken my lunch into one of the completed conference rooms, intent on eating in peace, but somehow Jonny managed to find me anyway.
“Hey, there you are. I feel like I haven’t seen you in days,” he said as he flopped into the chair across from me, his own lunch in hand. “Have you been avoiding me?” His voice was almost too casual. I was lucky enough to have a mouthful of food to chew and swallow, giving me time to make up some excuse. I didn’t come up with a very good one.
“What makes you say that?” I asked, equally as casually. He opened a bottle of water and took a drink. I tried not to notice the fact that I couldn’t look away from his lips wrapping around the bottle’s mouth.
“Marilyn accosted me in the hall earlier and asked if there were anything wrong with us,” he said once he’d finished drinking. “She’s still circling, apparently looking for an opening.” He played with the bottle’s lid for a minute. “Though, truth be told, I kind of noticed it myself. It’s too weird isn’t it?”
I didn’t have to ask him what he meant. I wasn’t, however, sure if he meant that it was too weird because he was feeling differently about me too or because he was grossed out by being so close to me. In my confusion, I decided to play the whole thing off.
“Well, hell, Jon, it’s not like we’ve been knockin’ boots or anything.” The instant it came out of my mouth, that very image flashed in my mind and I flushed what I’m sure must have been an impressive shade of red. Even though I’d been thinking along those lines for days now, that was the first time my distraction had manifested itself physically. I can’t tell you how pleased I was that it happened in Jonny’s presence. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably before continuing.
“If it seems like I was avoidin’ you, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to,” I lied. Jonny searched my eyes for a long moment before nodding and picking up his sandwich to begin eating.
“I told her nothing was wrong, that we were just busy. I can’t believe she is still pursuing this. And I can’t believe I didn’t just tell her the truth to begin with. I’m really sorry about this mess, Trip, really I am.”
But I didn’t want to hear his apology. I didn’t think it was all that weird a thing to do. It wasn’t even the first time it had happened to me. Once, at the academy, a girl I knew from class approached me in the school commons, grabbed my hand and quietly begged me to pretend to be her boyfriend. Seconds later, a guy with long stringy hair and a tendency to stare too much showed up and started chatting with us. I had to pretend to be her man at least four or five times that year, but I didn’t mind because she was a nice girl and he was a really creepy son of a bitch.
The concept wasn’t strange; my reaction was.
“Don’t worry about it, Jon. Just three more days and we can get on with our lives. Unless, of course, they send up another succubus.”
Jonny chuckled, but I could tell from the way the humor didn’t light up his eyes that he wasn’t all that amused. I felt bad then for making things awkward between us, so I resolved to stop avoiding him and get my act together.
I couldn’t think of a good excuse to be near Jonny for the rest of the afternoon though. We had a bunch of sensitive tests going in Engineering I just couldn’t leave to go wandering around the ship groping the Captain in front of some lady. I didn’t see him until the end of the day and I can say with all my heart that that was when everything changed forever.
I was walking towards a lift to go back down to the shuttle bay when he came barreling out of a corridor ahead of me. He spotted me instantly and his features smoothed out in relief.
“There you are! I’m going to kill her, Trip, I really am.” He glanced to both sides and back down the corridor he’d come from.
“What the hell? What’s she doing?”
He rolled his eyes. “I just came from a meeting with her. I don’t think we’d talked about official business for more than ten minutes before she was asking about you and me again. I told her everything was fine, but she said if I wanted to talk about it, I should come to her rooms tonight and that I deserved better than someone who would avoid me. This has to be sexual harassment, it just has to be!”
I nodded in agreement though I was thinking more about how I would be a great boyfriend and Marilyn should shut her trap. And I didn’t even think of how strange that was until much later.
“Maybe you should complain to Admiral Forrest about...” I was interrupted by the sound of Marilyn’s laughter floating down the corridor Jonny had come from. He turned to me, his eyes wide and before I could do or say anything, he had slid his arms around my waist, pulled me in close and placed his lips over mine.
I can’t tell you what I was thinking at that time because I honestly stopped thinking altogether. My hands came up of their own accord and wrapped around his shoulders. We pressed together so closely, I don’t think there was a part of us that wasn’t touching. I could feel his muscles working under his clothes as he held me tighter and nearly lifted me off my feet. His lips were soft, but I could feel the scratch of a day’s stubble on his face and for some reason, it made me want to kiss him more deeply. I guess I was the one that opened my mouth first, but he certainly didn’t hesitate once I did. I remember feeling my eyes nearly roll up in the back of my head at that point and I groaned. It must have done something to him because the next thing I knew, one of his hands had traveled down my back and onto my ass. That brought us even closer together and I became aware for the first time that we were both becoming hard. That brought reality crashing back and without really thinking of how he’d react to it, I pushed him off me violently.
I was struck breathless by the look in his eyes. I could see arousal there and confusion, a perfect mirror image of what must have been in mine. But there was also hurt, profound hurt and it broke my heart. I immediately wanted to take him back into my arms and promise him I would never push him away again. But I just didn’t know how and I was too confused to do anything other than stare at him.
Finally, after an eternity, he caught his breath and spoke.
“I’m...I’m sorry. Trip, I...I’m just...I’m sorry,” he sputtered, then turned on his heel and left. I couldn’t follow him, so I settled for sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. It was only then that I realized we never saw Marilyn.
Author:
jenniferlupinRating: NC-17
Beta: Jessica
Disclaimer: Star Trek belongs to Paramount. I'm not making money from this.
Summary: Trip recalls the beginning of his and Jon's relationship.
Author's Note: I wrote this forever ago, so it's technically my first Archer/Tucker piece. I hope you enjoy!
The first time I ever met Marilyn Wilder, I was on my knees with my ass up in the air. I could literally feel her eyes raking over my backside and that was nothing compared to the treatment she was giving poor Jonny. She was an attractive enough person, I suppose, though she was far too slight for my tastes and there was something definitely off-putting about her limp blond hair and her somewhat colorless eyes. But nothing could be as off-putting as her personality.
But before I get ahead of myself, let me back up a little and give you some background information. My name is Charles Tucker the Third, though I go by Trip. This is the story about how one of the most annoying people I ever met changed my life forever. Her name you already know, but I’ll say it again. Marilyn Wilder. Just hearing it sends the dual sensations of dread and gratitude coursing through my body. Strange, I know, but hopefully you’ll understand what I mean soon enough.
Marilyn worked in the Department of Safety at Starfleet Headquarters ten years ago. I bet you didn’t even know we had one. I don’t blame you; I didn’t know we had one either for a long time. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it now. You see, ten years ago was about five years before Enterprise set sail for humanity’s first ever deep space exploration. We were in the very middle of building the ship and feeling our way towards what it meant to even have this sort of program. Of course safety was high on the list of Starfleet priorities and I don’t blame them, but their way of going about it was…well, it was mighty intrusive.
But I’m getting ahead of myself again. Better explain more about where I was and what I was doing at the time. I had signed on with the Warp 5 project about three years earlier at the age of 21. I had spent the year since graduating from Starfleet academy working planet side in Engineering Development, where I met one Jonathan Archer. We hit it off right away, I think because we were both so enthusiastic about the program, though for slightly different reasons. I knew who Henry Archer was, of course, everyone involved in Engineering did, but I didn’t know that his son was as devoted to his father and his father’s vision as it was possible for a person to be. Don’t get me wrong. I admire him for that, but sometimes I wonder how much pain he might have been spared if he just decided to do something else with his life.
But then, we would have never met and I don’t like to think about that at all.
Anyway, the point is, we became fast friends, working late into the night, talking out the kinks in this system or that (though, truth be told, it was a lot of me clarifying to him how things really worked, but I didn’t mind. He was always a great audience). Eventually, we began to meet outside of work to throw a few back and talk about the project and our futures. Jonny wanted to see the project go forward so badly, it was nearly palatable. I can still remember sitting in my apartment or his, listening to him talk about going out amongst the stars and seeing the universe like no other had seen it before. At times like that, it was like the whole world fell away and it was just him, a ship and the black expanse of space. Even then I felt drawn to his enthusiasm. I wanted to see humans go into space as much as any good Starfleet cadet, but it wasn’t until I met him that I knew what it was like to really yearn for something, to actually physically crave to see a dream come true.
It didn’t take long until we began spending nearly every free moment together, whether we spoke about work or not. I can’t remember how many times I woke up on his couch or he on mine, both of us sporting life threatening hangovers. I guess it took me at least half a year or better to realize we’d become best friends. Not that we ever spoke about it that way, but everyone else certainly did. To hear the people at Development talk, you’d think that Jonny and I were connected at the hip.
And I guess we were. So, it was no surprise to anyone that when a position on the project came open, a position that meant I would be working with the actual Warp 5 equipment rather than just schematics, that Jonny lobbied long and hard for me to get it. I would have felt awkward about it if I didn’t genuinely feel I deserved it. What can I say? I’m humble as anyone, but if I’m good at something, I admit it. And I was good at this.
Others thought so, too and to my utter delight I was granted the job. I was doing the work I’d dreamed of doing my whole life and I was spending even more time with my new best friend, Jonny Archer. Life was really good, great even. You won’t believe how many girls you can get just by telling them you’re working on the ship that’ll bring deep space to humans for the first time. I can’t tell you how important that is to a 21 year old guy.
Anyway, life went on, the project became more and more successful and I was promoted to Lieutenant for my contributions. I got to the point where I couldn’t really remember what it was like before I knew Jonny. He was becoming more and more important to me and I didn’t even realize it. Remember that. It will be important later.
That was when Marilyn Wilder came into my life. You see, the project was becoming the major focal point of Starfleet. People began to realize that it was going to happen and it was going to happen soon. The Vulcans could only stop us for so long. And once people started getting job titles (I was known as Deputy Chief Engineer), Starfleet realized it was time to take as much control of the project as possible away from its developers. And the best way to do that was to set up a Department of Safety and to send those damned inspectors. They came on two week intervals and watched every move we made. Tested the environmental controls over and over. Asked endless questions. Basically did as much to slow us down as possible.
Jonny by this time had been named as the vessel’s commander (It had just been named Enterprise earlier that year. Zephram Cochrane had always been insistent that any ship built from his research should be called Enterprise, though there had been talk of naming it Phoenix after the vessel he used for the first warp trip) and he was not pleased with these people. But he also knew that we would all have to put up with them to see the ship get built and nothing was going to stand in his way to that end.
The first couple of people they sent up were annoying, but only because of their jobs. They asked their questions, but they didn’t try and get in the way while we were working, too much anyway. Until Marilyn.
Which brings me back to that day was I was kneeling with my ass up in the air. Jonny and I were in Engineering, working on something or other. Funny, I can’t even remember what it was. All I do remember was that it was mostly me working and him handing me tools and chatting away about nothing and everything. He did work; don’t let me give you the wrong impression. He did tons of things I don’t think I could have handled, like talking to officials and arguing for all the stuff we’d need. I think I would have just decked people after a certain point, but he maintained his patience. That’s why he was going to be Captain.
Anyway, so we were sitting there and in walks this little mousy woman with a PADD and a great wide smile. She immediately looked us over like we were on the menu and I guess she decided to have Jon as her entrée because she sidled right up to him, a simper on her little face.
“Captain Archer?” she asked or maybe purred would be a better word. Neither of us said anything for a minute and just stared at her. She had swept into the room and right up to Jonny’s side and was now standing so close, it was doubtful there was room for even a molecule to dance between them. He backed away just a hair and shot me a look that plainly said, “Help me please.” I’ve seen that look on his face numerous times before and since and I just can’t ignore it. I just can’t.
I stood and walked over to the two of them as Jonny answered her.
“Yes, can I help you?”
She stuck out a small hand and grabbed his in it. “I’m Marilyn Wilder, from the Department of Safety. I’ll be your inspector for the next two weeks.” She said this as if she were announcing that she were giving each of us a million credits and a new car. Jonny’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly and he plastered a fake smile on his face.
“Well, welcome aboard, Lieutenant Wilder.” I’m still not sure how he spotted her rank pips on that shirt. It was definitely not regulation and had some kind of crazy design on it. I’ve seen some of them since then and was told by Hoshi that it’s called paisley. All I know is that I completely missed the pips. Again, that’s why Jon is Captain and I work with inanimate objects.
“Oh please, call me Marilyn. We won’t stand on ceremony here, will we?” She laughed then, a hideous high pitched squeak I still have nightmares about. Judging by the look on Jonny’s face, he was feeling a shiver up his spine as well.
“Of course not. Marilyn it is then. I’m Jonathan and this is Lieutenant Charles Tucker, our deputy head of Engineering,” he said, waving me closer. I could tell just by the way he told her to call him Jonathan and not Jon that he didn’t like the woman.
“Call me Trip,” I said quickly before she could ask. She shook my hand and gave me a rather frank appraisal. Again, I’m humble as the next guy, but I could tell she liked what she saw. But then she turned her eyes back to Jonny and her smile widened. Yeah, she wanted to get her claws into him in the worst way. I thought to myself that it was too bad that Jonny had just broken up with his latest girlfriend. He didn’t always have someone, but he was the type of guy that liked being in relationships (unlike myself at the time, but I’ll refrain from talking about that).
“Well, gentlemen, what do we have here?” She asked cheerily, stepping further into Engineering and peering around at everything. She picked up a spanner and began twisting it in her hands. I quickly went over and as gently as I could, pulled it from her. I could already tell it was going to be a long two weeks. Jonny joined us and began to show her around in what I thought was an amazing feat of diplomacy. Normally when these inspector people showed up and Jonny carted them off around the ship, I just stayed put wherever I was and kept working. But another one of those help me looks crossed Jonny’s face and I knew I was in for a tour.
Marilyn’s smile tightened up when I left Engineering and joined them in the Armory. It faded when we left the Armory and got into the lift to visit Sickbay. By the time, we all reached the Bridge, she looked distinctly disgruntled.
“Oh Trip, you don’t have to stay with us if you have some work to be finishing,” she finally said. She touched Jonny’s shoulder. “I’m sure Jonathan and I can get along without any help.” And then she laughed again, higher and falser than ever. I looked at Jon for help this time. After all, it wasn’t my idea to tail them around the ship.
“Actually, he should be here, Marilyn,” Jon said, his eyes suddenly lighting up with an idea. “I’ve just named him as the mission’s first officer, so he has to be around for official business.” He stressed the word ‘official’, but I barely noticed. I was too shocked by his announcement. “Just named” is right. It was the first I’d heard of anything like that. Sure, I thought to myself, he’s probably just saying that to avoid being alone with this crazy woman, but still…it was something I’d wondered about before, who was going to take that post. And I had to admit, the thought of being the ship’s second in command was mighty appealing.
She turned her eyes on me again, this time with even more interest. Until then, I had thought that her interest was purely sexual, but it occurred to me then that she might be a little power hungry, too. Either way, I valiantly tried to ignore the whole thing and just nodded.
“That’s right. So, ya know, gotta be around for all this official stuff,” I stammered. Over her head, I caught a look of amusement on Jonny’s face. I thought to myself that after this, he better damn well name me first officer.
“Well, in that case, let’s continue, shall we?” She actually took us both by the arm and held on for the rest of the tour. Which lasted far too long for my tastes. When the hell did Enterprise get that big anyway? When it finally ended, I retreated back into Engineering and I think Jonny hid in the Sickbay. Marilyn wandered in and out, taking readings and asking twice as many questions as any of the other inspectors. I’m pretty sure Jim (Jim Jenkins that is, our chief Engineer) wanted to strangle her by the end of the day.
And when that time came, Marilyn managed to be on the same shuttle back to the Jupiter Station as me and Jonny. There were other people on it, of course, but you wouldn’t know it to look at her. She practically sat in Jonny’s lap, chattering away about how beautiful Enterprise was, how much she enjoyed working her job and did we know what there was to do on Jupiter Station of the evening? Her hinting was so painfully clear, I actually starting wincing. Jonny managed to vague his way out of any sort of further interaction with her and after following us all the way to the station’s lift, we were finally able to escape her. Luck was with us that night. The guest quarters are three levels from the residential apartments.
“Oh my gentle Jesus,” Jonny announced once we got the lift to ourselves.
“Tell me about it,” I replied with a smile. Now that she wasn’t hanging off our sides, I was beginning to find the whole thing pretty funny. Especially since she was hanging off Jonny twice as much as me.
“I don’t think I can handle two whole weeks of this,” he said, leaning his head against the lift wall.
“I think I can, seeing as how I’ve been promoted to first officer,” I teased, trying to let him know that I hadn’t taken it seriously. The last thing I wanted was any awkwardness between us. So, I was surprised when he fixed me with a really serious expression.
“I wasn’t kidding about that, Trip,” he said. “I hadn’t planned on asking you that way, but I can’t think of anyone else I’d rather have as my second in command, if you’re willing,” he added. I didn’t see my face at the moment, of course, but I’m sure it was something else. My eyes were as wide open as I could get them and my mouth was parted in surprise.
“Are you serious?” was all I could say. He laughed and nodded.
“Hell, yes, I’m serious. You’ve got the right experience, you know Enterprise almost as well as I do and we get along really well. And you’re better with administrative stuff than you think.” He gave me a look. It just figured he knew I would be concerned about that. But there was more than that to worry about.
“I’m only a lieutenant, Jon. Aren’t first officers supposed to be a little higher ranked than that? No one would take me seriously.”
Jonny just rolled his eyes as the lift stopped and deposited us on our floor. “In case you hadn’t noticed, Enterprise isn’t going to be ready anytime soon.” He turned towards his apartment and without thinking, I turned with him. He didn’t comment on it. “I’m sure with your extensive work on the warp engines, you’ll gain a pip or two before then. And as for people not taking you seriously, you already have almost an entire engineering crew beneath you and they all respect and genuinely like you. Besides, I’m the Captain. They’ll respect who I tell them to respect,” he said with a laugh. Both of us knew how well that would work, but I appreciated it nonetheless. We stopped outside his door and he keyed it open.
“So, are you going to say yes or am I going to have to ask someone else?” He asked as we walked through the door. Yeah right, I wasn’t about to let him ask someone else.
“Hell, yes, I’m sayin’ yes,” I said, using his earlier wording to tease him. Jonny smiled at me again and I felt really good then. I can’t remember for sure now, but I think I fell asleep on his couch that night, yet again.
Nothing overly interesting happened for the next three or four days. I went to work, I answered millions upon millions of Marilyn’s questions, joined in a number of meetings I had never been to before, both because I was now the future first officer and also because Jonny refused to be alone with the woman. She tried her damnest to corner him a number of times, but nothing ever came of it.
So, I’ll just skip ahead to the part where things started getting good, which would the afternoon of the fourth day. I had spent the morning cleaning up a panel of burned wires that had shorted out sometime during the night. I didn’t see Jonny or Marilyn the whole morning, so after I finished up, I went searching for them. I wasn’t looking forward to finding Marilyn alone, but I figured if I did, at least she wouldn’t be bugging the hell out of Jonny.
It didn’t take long before I heard his voice, coming from down one of the hallways. I turned towards it, only to stop up short at the scene before me. Marilyn was leaning close to Jonny, twirling a strand of hair on one finger, an expectant look on her face. Jonny was trying his best to shrink back from her, but he was already up against the wall. Looked like I had arrived just on time. Jonny spotted me instantly as I started towards them. He twisted away from her and practically lunged at me and to my great surprise, grabbed my hand.
“I really can’t, Marilyn,” he said. “I didn’t want to say anything because we weren’t planning on telling people yet, but,” and here he pulled my hand up to his chest and cradled it against his heart, “Trip and I are together.”
I guess I couldn’t have been more surprised if Jonny had grown another head and not just because of what he was saying. When he touched my hand, I don’t know, something happened. It felt…different than I would have expected. I mean, I’d touched Jonny before. Hell, during some of our more vigorous games of flag football, I’d tackled the man to the ground. But that wasn’t intimate in the least and this certainly was, especially when he started rubbing small circles on the top of my hand. I tried not to think about it at the time, but I can definitely say now that I was feeling some kind of spark when our hands met in that way.
Marilyn’s eyes went from his face to mine and she sighed. “I knew it. I just knew it,” she said. “I was just hoping you were particularly close friends.” At that point, I tried to shut down my mind completely, but I couldn’t stop myself from hearing what she was saying and comprehending her meaning. I could tell Jonny did too from the way his grip on my hand slackened in surprise. “It’s hard to hide something like that from people,” she said in a smug tone. I was still just gaping at her and didn’t answer. She smiled broadly at the two of us.
“Well, you make a cute couple, at least. Jonathan, I apologize if I put you in an awkward position. I have some work to be getting to. Good afternoon!” And then she turned and flounced down the hall.
I guess it took about a full minute before Jonny thought to release my hand and half again as long for me to let myself try and think. Another minute and I found my voice.
“What in the hell was that about?!”
Jonny threw up his hands and began pacing back and forth. “I don’t know! I’m sorry, Trip, really I am. She started asking me out to dinner and I just panicked!” His face was very red. Poor guy was completely and totally embarrassed.
“How hard is it to say, ‘Marilyn, I gotta girlfriend back on Earth?’ Or how about ‘Marilyn, you’re creepy and annoying and I don’t wanna go out with you?’” I asked with less heat. The only reason I got mad in the first place was to cover my confusion at the way I felt when he touched me.
“I’ll try and remember that next time.” He stopped pacing, groaned and covered his face. “I’m such an idiot. Now, she’s going to think we’re together for the next week and a half.”
Trying to ignore the disturbing stab of irritation I felt at his distress about having to pretend he was dating me, I attempted to offer some comfort. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, Jon. We haven’t been actin’ like a couple this whole time. She’ll just think we’re tryin’ ta be professional. You best just hope she doesn’t go and tell someone you’re breakin’ the frat rules.”
“Holy hell, I didn’t even think of that!” He rubbed his eyes. “Well, if anyone higher up gets wind of it, I’ll just say we’ve decided to break it off because we work together. And if Marilyn hears about that and hits on me again, I’ll just say I’m too hurt to date anyone else right now.”
We both laughed at that and I felt most of the tension I’d been feeling drain away. I was still confused, but I was already beginning to convince myself that I was mistaken about what I felt.
“I hope no one else hears about this. ‘Course if they do, I won’t be the one gettin’ all the teasin’.” I gave him what I felt was an easygoing grin and if he sensed it wasn’t natural, he gave no indication of it. He just slapped my back and laughed. I felt a tingle spread out from his fingers and I silently cursed Marilyn’s name.
“That’s true. I’m the one with diarrhea of the mouth,” he admitted.
We parted company then, him to bridge and me back to Engineering. I hadn’t planned on being back so soon, but I couldn’t make myself follow him as I normally would. The little part of me that couldn’t be convinced I didn’t feel anything, I decided to placate by pretending it didn’t happen. The only way I could do that was to get the hell away from him.
As soon as I got back, I set my mind to doing whatever tasks came within range. I worked so hard, I was actually able to forget the whole ordeal, but I’m not too surprised about that. When I set to working with my engines, I tend to get pretty absorbed and lose all track of time. Soon enough it was time to pack up and leave and by then, I felt completely normal again. I figured I could get through the rest of Marilyn’s time, pretending to be Jonny’s…boyfriend.
I should have known I was in trouble with the word ‘boyfriend’ sent a small thrill through me.
A good night’s rest later and I woke up feeling really silly. There was nothing going between Jonny and me, I reasoned. What I felt was just awkwardness at being confronted by the thought of a sexual relationship with a friend I had never thought that way about before. Everything was going to be ok.
It worked for awhile. Until I got to the shuttle that morning. Jonny was already there, waiting on me and so was Marilyn. I reminded myself that we didn’t have to act any differently since no one else was supposed to know and I walked up to greet Jonny. Everything felt perfectly normal as we all boarded the shuttle and took our seats, me next to Jonny and Marilyn across from us. I started a conversation with Jon about an upcoming test we were doing in Engineering. He responded here and there, but it didn’t take me long to realize that he was very distracted. His eyes kept darting across the aisle towards Marilyn and he kept shifting in his seat. I tried to ignore it, but I’m a pretty curious guy. I finally looked over at her and saw that she was giving us a strange look, almost as if she were confused. And so was I until I noticed that the three of us had managed to get a shuttle all to ourselves. It appeared that Marilyn didn’t understand why we weren’t acting more…lovey-dovey if no one was there to see us, but her.
Now, if Jonny and I really had been together and someone had been throwing me that kind of look, I would have just said, screw it. I don’t like changing the way I act just because someone is watching. And most of the time, neither does Jonny, so I can honestly say I was very surprised by what he did next. I think I understand it better now, but at the time, I thought he was letting her get to him.
Well, for whatever reason he did it, the next thing I knew, he had put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to his side, so close I could smell his hair and feel the heat coming from his body. Again, it wasn’t like this was the first time I’d hugged Jonny, but it was the first time I’d been held by him. I hated how good it felt. I hated how much I wanted to relax into his embrace and lay my head on his shoulder. I hated Marilyn more and more.
Marilyn seemed to relax after that, I guess because she wasn’t worrying about whether or not we had broken up during the night and whether or not Jonny was now back on the market. She began prattling inanely and somehow Jonny was able to pay enough attention to talk back to her. I still don’t know how he did it. All I could concentrate on was his hand rubbing gently up and down my arm and the fact that I could feel each breath he took. Each time I tried to clear my head and think about anything else, embarrassing and uncomfortable images flooded my mind, images of me waking up in bed with Jonny’s arms holding me tight or the two of us walking through the arboretum on Jupiter Station, our arms around each other’s waists.
Those thoughts plagued me for the rest of that day and into the next. Each time I found myself alone with Jonny and Marilyn, he would move closer to me or put a hand on my back and once he even took my hand in his, our fingers entwining intimately. It got to the point where I couldn’t think of anything else but Jonny. And I began to notice things about him that I hadn’t before, like how his eyes changed colors with different emotions. Dark green with anger. Hazel green for amusement. Pure green with awe. I nearly dropped a wrench when I found myself pondering what they’d look like when he was aroused. I had to stop working for a full fifteen minutes when he walked into Engineering and my eyes followed his ass rather than his face.
I think that was what finally made me start avoiding him altogether. I guess it was about three days since he’d pulled me into his arms on the shuttle and I had finally had enough. I told myself that Jonny was just a friend, I only liked girls and the only way I could get away from these “unwanted” interactions was to stay away from the man for the duration of Marilyn’s visit. Just five more days and I would be home free.
It wasn’t a bad plan, or so I thought. I hadn’t expected Marilyn’s reaction though. It seems the little magpie was watching us more closely than I had previously thought and my reluctance to be around Jonny did not go unnoticed by her. It was brought to my attention on the second afternoon of my self-enforced Archer fast. I had taken my lunch into one of the completed conference rooms, intent on eating in peace, but somehow Jonny managed to find me anyway.
“Hey, there you are. I feel like I haven’t seen you in days,” he said as he flopped into the chair across from me, his own lunch in hand. “Have you been avoiding me?” His voice was almost too casual. I was lucky enough to have a mouthful of food to chew and swallow, giving me time to make up some excuse. I didn’t come up with a very good one.
“What makes you say that?” I asked, equally as casually. He opened a bottle of water and took a drink. I tried not to notice the fact that I couldn’t look away from his lips wrapping around the bottle’s mouth.
“Marilyn accosted me in the hall earlier and asked if there were anything wrong with us,” he said once he’d finished drinking. “She’s still circling, apparently looking for an opening.” He played with the bottle’s lid for a minute. “Though, truth be told, I kind of noticed it myself. It’s too weird isn’t it?”
I didn’t have to ask him what he meant. I wasn’t, however, sure if he meant that it was too weird because he was feeling differently about me too or because he was grossed out by being so close to me. In my confusion, I decided to play the whole thing off.
“Well, hell, Jon, it’s not like we’ve been knockin’ boots or anything.” The instant it came out of my mouth, that very image flashed in my mind and I flushed what I’m sure must have been an impressive shade of red. Even though I’d been thinking along those lines for days now, that was the first time my distraction had manifested itself physically. I can’t tell you how pleased I was that it happened in Jonny’s presence. I shifted in my seat uncomfortably before continuing.
“If it seems like I was avoidin’ you, I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to,” I lied. Jonny searched my eyes for a long moment before nodding and picking up his sandwich to begin eating.
“I told her nothing was wrong, that we were just busy. I can’t believe she is still pursuing this. And I can’t believe I didn’t just tell her the truth to begin with. I’m really sorry about this mess, Trip, really I am.”
But I didn’t want to hear his apology. I didn’t think it was all that weird a thing to do. It wasn’t even the first time it had happened to me. Once, at the academy, a girl I knew from class approached me in the school commons, grabbed my hand and quietly begged me to pretend to be her boyfriend. Seconds later, a guy with long stringy hair and a tendency to stare too much showed up and started chatting with us. I had to pretend to be her man at least four or five times that year, but I didn’t mind because she was a nice girl and he was a really creepy son of a bitch.
The concept wasn’t strange; my reaction was.
“Don’t worry about it, Jon. Just three more days and we can get on with our lives. Unless, of course, they send up another succubus.”
Jonny chuckled, but I could tell from the way the humor didn’t light up his eyes that he wasn’t all that amused. I felt bad then for making things awkward between us, so I resolved to stop avoiding him and get my act together.
I couldn’t think of a good excuse to be near Jonny for the rest of the afternoon though. We had a bunch of sensitive tests going in Engineering I just couldn’t leave to go wandering around the ship groping the Captain in front of some lady. I didn’t see him until the end of the day and I can say with all my heart that that was when everything changed forever.
I was walking towards a lift to go back down to the shuttle bay when he came barreling out of a corridor ahead of me. He spotted me instantly and his features smoothed out in relief.
“There you are! I’m going to kill her, Trip, I really am.” He glanced to both sides and back down the corridor he’d come from.
“What the hell? What’s she doing?”
He rolled his eyes. “I just came from a meeting with her. I don’t think we’d talked about official business for more than ten minutes before she was asking about you and me again. I told her everything was fine, but she said if I wanted to talk about it, I should come to her rooms tonight and that I deserved better than someone who would avoid me. This has to be sexual harassment, it just has to be!”
I nodded in agreement though I was thinking more about how I would be a great boyfriend and Marilyn should shut her trap. And I didn’t even think of how strange that was until much later.
“Maybe you should complain to Admiral Forrest about...” I was interrupted by the sound of Marilyn’s laughter floating down the corridor Jonny had come from. He turned to me, his eyes wide and before I could do or say anything, he had slid his arms around my waist, pulled me in close and placed his lips over mine.
I can’t tell you what I was thinking at that time because I honestly stopped thinking altogether. My hands came up of their own accord and wrapped around his shoulders. We pressed together so closely, I don’t think there was a part of us that wasn’t touching. I could feel his muscles working under his clothes as he held me tighter and nearly lifted me off my feet. His lips were soft, but I could feel the scratch of a day’s stubble on his face and for some reason, it made me want to kiss him more deeply. I guess I was the one that opened my mouth first, but he certainly didn’t hesitate once I did. I remember feeling my eyes nearly roll up in the back of my head at that point and I groaned. It must have done something to him because the next thing I knew, one of his hands had traveled down my back and onto my ass. That brought us even closer together and I became aware for the first time that we were both becoming hard. That brought reality crashing back and without really thinking of how he’d react to it, I pushed him off me violently.
I was struck breathless by the look in his eyes. I could see arousal there and confusion, a perfect mirror image of what must have been in mine. But there was also hurt, profound hurt and it broke my heart. I immediately wanted to take him back into my arms and promise him I would never push him away again. But I just didn’t know how and I was too confused to do anything other than stare at him.
Finally, after an eternity, he caught his breath and spoke.
“I’m...I’m sorry. Trip, I...I’m just...I’m sorry,” he sputtered, then turned on his heel and left. I couldn’t follow him, so I settled for sliding down the wall and sitting on the floor. It was only then that I realized we never saw Marilyn.
