FIC: Circle's End, Archer/Reed, 10/16
Mar. 8th, 2007 10:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cloudy_ficTitle: Circle's End, Part Ten
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairings: Archer/Reed, T'Pol/Tucker
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Paramount. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tookish_girl. Thanks!
Warnings: Still not deathfic.
Summary: Ten years after an explosion on an alien planet, Jon and Malcolm deal with two very different realities.
Author's Notes: None really.
Senara stood on the curb beside the small hotel at which she and Talin were staying, waiting nervously for a car Malcolm had told her would soon arrive. Talin stood with her and the feel of his strong warm hand closed over her own was the only thing keeping her from totally giving into her nerves. It was ridiculous really, she knew, to be so tied in knots over the coming meeting, but she couldn't help it. This was Jon, Malcolm's Jon, the man he'd been seeking for so long. Malcolm had often told Senara that she and Jon were the two most important people to him. And now she was finally meeting him for the first time. What if he didn't like her? What if he was critical of the way she'd cared for Malcolm in their early acquaintance?
What if he wanted to take Malcolm away from her forever?
"I'm nervous," she suddenly said, her emotions finally spilling into the open. Talin squeezed her hand firmly.
"As am I."
She smiled. Talin didn't talk much and never confessed he was troubled to anyone, but herself. That reminder of their relationship helped calm her almost more than his touch.
"Nervous for yourself or for me?"
He contemplated the question for a moment before answering. "Both, I think. And for Master Reed." There was a long pause, but Senara didn't speak, knowing intuitively that he had more to say. "If I had not seen you for so long, I would not know how to handle it."
Her head snapped up from where she'd been looking at their joined hands. "How did...Talin, how did you guess?"
"I've seen that look in many men's eyes," he said simply. Senara continued to stare at him, trying to discern any disgust or animosity on his face. There was none that she could see and she felt vaguely guilty for ever worrying there would be. For all his emotional reserve, Talin was a very loving person and she knew he loved Malcolm as much as she did. It was just such an unusual situation. Senara could still remember her own surprise at learning that Malcolm had not only fallen in love with another man, but had enjoyed a sexual relationship with one. It was years before she even understood how it all worked and only then as a result of a rather embarrassing conversation with Malcolm himself on the matter.
Now, of course, it seemed perfectly natural. Perhaps Malcolm was wrong in his belief that the general population would be able to understand his situation. She nearly snorted. Two days ago, she would have said, perhaps Malcolm should trust his own people more. But he wasn't Alearan. He was Terran, as they were called. Who knew what Terrans thought about things?
Oh holy leaders, this was going to take a lot of getting used to.
"Talin-" But her words were cut off when a large black landcar pulled up right in front of them. A purple-uniformed Alearan stepped out of the driver's side and fixed her with a curious look.
"Senara Reed?"
"Yes." For the next few months anyway, until she and Talin were bonded. And then it would be Senara Weilian.
The driver walked around and opened the door for her and Talin. Senara swallowed hard as she stepped in to sit on the velvety seats. It almost seemed wrong to sit on seats made from fabric ten times nicer than the simple blue dress she wore. Judging by the cautious manner of Talin's movements, he was thinking the same thing. This wasn't something Malcolm had ever recalled when talking about Jon. That his lover was obviously extremely rich.
"I guess Jon makes a lot of money," she commented breathlessly.
"He is a leader of his people," Talin answered as he examined a drinks dispenser set into the wall. "A man who meets with the likes of Chancellor Matein would necessarily have the means to live well."
"It's strange," Senara said as the driver got back into the landcar behind a window that meant they had total privacy. "Dad always said he thought they lived in a small place together."
"It's been many years and Master Reed's memory damaged very severely," Talin replied. "Perhaps he remembered incorrectly."
"Maybe," Senara said reluctantly. She didn't truly believe what her father had remembered was wrong, just incomplete. There was more to the story than she knew. "He seemed really happy on the comm. But tired. I hope he isn't exhausting himself." Because there was every chance he would be. Malcolm often worked himself into the ground, despite Senara's protests. She wondered idly if Jon ever had any luck getting her father to take his own health more seriously.
Her mind wandered in a similar fashion for the rest of the car trip, her thoughts centered firmly on Jon. She'd imagined meeting her father's lover over and over, but never once did she imagine she'd be this worried. Happiness and joy were the only things she felt when thinking about a reunion between the two men. But now she knew that Jon lived so very far away, further than she could possibly grasp and had so much power and wealth. Senara didn't know much about Alearan politics, but she did know that money and power could accomplish just about anything. It was possible that Jon would use his own to make certain Malcolm was never lost to him again by taking him away forever.
But then, despite the thought lingering in the back of her mind, Senara couldn't quite bring herself to believe that Malcolm would have fallen in love with a person like that. The more likely situation, and one twice as frightening and uncomfortable, would be Malcolm choosing to leave on his own, ultimately choosing Jon over Senara. In reality, she knew it made sense, that Jon was Malcolm's soul partner and therefore more important than anyone else. But that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. She couldn't imagine having to make a decision like that herself and actually, now that she thought about it, she hadn't chosen Talin definitely until speaking with her father.
And then she began to worry that Jon somehow instinctively knew Malcolm better than herself. The shot of jealousy she felt brought her a great deal of shame, but she couldn't seem to help it.
All in all, by the time the car stopped in front of the large and elegant Lawout Hotel, Senara's insides were coiled, frazzled by nerves. Talin must have sensed her distress because once they exited the vehicle and started towards the front doors, he slipped his hand into hers and moved to walk very closely beside her. A measure of peace returned to her then as it always did when she could plainly feel Talin's solid form near hers.
"I love you, Talin," she murmured as the doors were opened for them. Talin squeezed her hand and answered just as softly.
"And I, you."
There was barely time for another deep breath before she heard her father's voice calling her name.
"Senara! Over here, love!"
Turning to her left, she saw Malcolm stand from a overstuffed sofa, a wide smile on his face. For a second she couldn't see Jon, but then a movement just behind Malcolm caught her eye and she saw Jon in reality for the very first time.
He was even more beautiful than in the picture. His eyes were an odd color, not quite green, not quite brown and they shone with intelligence and warmth. Everything about him exuded confidence and authority, from the way he held his head high to his tall strong body. For some reason, the last thing surprised Senara. It was almost disconcerting to see that her father's lover towered over him. Malcolm was such a commanding personality himself. Would he act differently around Jon?
"Elaen," Malcolm greeted her when she'd gotten to his side. He pulled her into a loving embrace before letting her go long enough so that she could kiss him on the cheek. Talin kissed him quickly as well, which Senara could see surprised Jon a little. She didn't quite frown at that. Surely a world where men were intimate with other men would employ a custom as natural as a kiss hello between two men. Earth must be a very strange place, she thought to herself.
"Senara, Talin, I want you to meet Jon," Malcolm said, stepping aside to allow Jon room to move forward. Senara caught a flash of something on Jon's face that might have been nerves, which made her smile. It was the first crack in his seemingly calm facade.
"Master Archer," Senara said warmly, swallowing back her reaction at standing so close to him. If Jon towered over Malcolm, he practically dwarfed Senara, who was a good eight inches shorter than her father. The thought that Talin, at least, was still taller than Jon amused her enough to overcome her persistent nerves and give him the traditional kiss. She thought his face flushed a little, but she couldn't be sure.
"This is my promised mate, Talin," she introduced. Talin stepped forward without hesitation, no sign of intimidation on his strong features and kissed him as well. This time, a faint blush definitely painted Jon's cheeks, but he didn't look offended. Just the opposite actually.
"It's an honor to meet you, Master Archer," Talin said solemnly.
"Please, call me Jon," he said with obvious sincerity, the translator attached to his shirt turning his words into perfect Alearan. "Both of you."
His voice was another surprise. Senara expected it to be a deep bass, tumbling out of that broad chest, but instead it was a light pleasing tenor. Either way, she found she liked it very much.
"It's wonderful to meet you," he continued, making sure to look at them both as he spoke. "I don't really know what else to say," he finished with a smile and a chuckle.
"Me either," she confessed. "There's so much. I don't know where to start."
"Let's start by getting out of the lobby," Malcolm interjected, startling Senara. She'd been so focused on Jon that she's almost forgotten about anyone else. Turning her smile on Malcolm and nodding, she was struck almost breathless by the look she caught him giving Jon. Even in his most candid moments discussing Jon with her, he'd never looked that way. As if his world began and ended with Jon. She felt another flush of shame at her earlier jealous thoughts even as heartfelt delight filled her.
Her father was finally happy again, truly happy.
Malcolm led the way to the lifts, linking hands with Jon as soon as they started moving. Senara flashed a smile to Talin at the sight, which he returned. It would be awhile before it became natural to see her father displaying intimate body language, but even so, she enjoyed seeing it.
The ride in the lift was dominated by small talk, simple questions about the trip from their hotel. Malcolm spoke quickly with just the barest hint of edge to his tone. His version of nerves. It seemed like the only person on the lift not full to bursting with nervous tension was Talin. Perhaps his quiet strength would keep the rest of them from losing themselves completely to their anxiety.
Jon's hotel suite was the largest, grandest place Senara had ever set foot in. She didn't want to pause in the door and gape, but she couldn't stop herself. Luckily, Talin gave her a little shove from behind. He gave her a little half-smile and raised one eyebrow. His message was clear. Don't let his wealth make you feel inferior. He was right, of course. This meeting wasn't about gawking at Jon's things. It was about meeting the other half of her little family.
"This is a beautiful room," she complimented.
"Yes," Jon said as he pulled out some cushioned chairs. "Your government has been very generous. It's a little large, if you ask me." He waved them into the chairs and sat himself. "I'm still used to living on cramped starships to tell you the truth."
"Dad said that was how you met," Senara offered. Hearing his confession put her at ease. "It makes a lot more sense than some of the stories he's told me."
"Stories?" Jon turned to Malcolm, his upper lip quivering slightly. "What kind of stories?"
"Well-" Malcolm started, but Senara cut him off.
"He tells me made up stories about his past. To make me laugh," she confided, giving him a fond look. "You've changed a lot over the years, Jon. You've been a dog trainer, an art teacher, something called a lounge singer..." She thought hard, trying to remember more. "You raised these animals. Gazelles?"
Laughter burst from Jon's mouth. "Thanks a lot, Mal. Of all the things to remember, you remember the gazelle thing."
"You really raised gazelles?" Senara asked in amazement. Which made Jon laugh harder.
"No. Sorry." He stifled his laughter into a fist. "It was just this thing I did, talking about gazelles when it might not have been the best idea." Merriment made his strange eyes dance. "I was never a starship Captain?"
"I don't think so. It's hard to remember them all really. Oh, you know, you were a boat captain once. He said the boat's name was the Indefatigable Treestump. I still don't know what that means."
"Nor do I," Malcolm said wryly. His cheeks were a bit red, but Senara didn't think she'd pushed his discomfort limits just yet, so she plunged ahead.
"It was quite a romantic tale. He said the boat was pinned down by enemy fire and he'd been separated from the rest of the crew on a smaller exploratory vessel. The only logical thing to do was leave him behind to save the rest of the crew, but he said you jumped into another boat and came to save him from drowning, risking your own life and the ship."
"It was just a silly story," Malcolm dismissed, his blush deepening. Senara grinned at him and turned to share a laugh with Jon, but he was staring at Malcolm.
"Not just a story," he said quietly.
Malcolm's expression changed seamlessly from embarrassment to astonished understanding. "Not...?"
"The details aren't...quite the same," he smiled. "But the idea, yes."
"Why in the world..." Malcolm's voice trailed off. Jon shrugged, finally looking away to absently brush something off his pants.
"I couldn't let you die."
The silence in the room suddenly felt very heavy as Malcolm became the one to stare, openmouthed at Jon. Senara shifted in her seat. This wasn't a conversation she and Talin should hear.
"Maybe he remembered other things without knowing it," she blurted out. "I should try to remember more."
Whatever spell had descended over Jon and Malcolm was snapped at her words. "Actually, I was hoping you could help us on that, Senara," Jon said. A knowing look passed between him and Malcolm before he continued. Apparently, they'd spoken about this already. "I know Malcolm's memories are there. That story is just more evidence of that. But I also know that a lot of amnesiacs never really remember the trauma that erased their memories. And we need to know what happened."
Senara nodded, swallowing hard. "I'll do whatever I can to help."
"Thank you." Jon sat forward in his chair and pinned her with a serious look. "Tell me exactly what happened the day you found Malcolm in the forest."
Those memories were painful. She and Malcolm hadn't spoken of it for years because they were difficult for her to recall, but if it would help her father, she would tell everything she knew.
"I had been here to Capsin that week. We have to come every year to record what we produced that year and to get some supplies," she began. "It was...perhaps the third year I'd been alone? My other parents...they died when I was very young."
Sympathy filled Jon's eyes, but he didn't interrupt. She'd seen a similar look in Malcolm's eyes once he'd understood what had happened to her.
"I always hated coming here," she said. "I'm not...there aren't a lot of people in Blaen. All the people were rather overwhelming," she admitted with embarrassment. "So, on the way back, I decided to take a lesser used road, to avoid crowds. It turned out to be even scarier though because there wasn't anyone at all."
"I still can't believe you did that," Malcolm murmured. "You could have been hurt."
"It was worth it, Dad," she countered. "I found him near the road," she said to Jon. "I almost didn't see him, but I heard a noise, like a low moan. At first, I thought it was an animal, but once I looked closer, I just barely saw his hand. I thought someone had taken ill, so I left Enterprise on the side of the road and went to him." This next part was what was so difficult to recall. "There was...he'd been injured. There was so much blood." A queasy feeling ate at her. "So much blood. I...I thought for sure he would die."
"Senara?" Malcolm's quiet voice pulled her gaze from the floor. "You don't have to remember it all at once," he offered softly, tenderness in his eyes.
"No, I can do this, Father," she answered just as quietly. Jon studied them both silently, but Senara couldn't tell what he was thinking. "I tried to wake him up. He was in a lot of pain and couldn't do much more than groan when I moved him. I didn't really know what to do, so I just turned him over and used a bit of material from my skirt to stop some of the bleeding. It had mostly stopped on its own, but it was trickling, you see?"
Everyone nodded. The gesture wasn't necessary, but it helped Senara focus her thoughts anyway. "I looked around for his horse, but there wasn't one. He didn't have any supplies with him, except the knife."
"Knife?" Jon asked, sitting further up in his chair, startling Senara.
"Yes, he had a..." She trailed off as realization hit her. "It was an Alearan knife! The design was unmistakable as that of an Alearan police officer. That's why I wasn't surprised when Dad knew all those defense techniques. I thought he'd been a police officer for awhile until he couldn't find any records of his name with the police force some years later."
"I'd forgotten about that," Malcolm said. He stood abruptly and began to pace. "Why would I have an Alearan knife? Did I have one when you saw me last?" he asked Jon.
"No. You had a phase pistol, a translator and a communicator though," Jon replied, thinking hard. "Someone must have taken them from you. Do you still have the knife?"
"No." Frustration colored his tone. "I sold it for money to use for finding you."
"It had blood on it," Senara volunteered. "But Dad didn't have any knife wounds. I thought he had gotten into a fight with a fellow traveller and used it on them."
"What kind of wounds did Malcolm have?" Jon asked.
"The back of his skull had been beaten and I think some of the bones in his chest were broken. There were a lot of scratches on his arms and face." She paused. "He might have been grazed by the knife; I couldn't really tell."
"Alright." Malcolm stopped pacing and turned to Jon. "Did they ever find out who was responsible for the explosion?"
"A terrorist group calling themselves the Trueain Patriots claimed the explosion about a day after it happened. They were a group from one of the smaller continents. They said it was a warning to the Alearan government to take their demands more seriously."
"What demands?" Malcolm asked.
"That the central government share their wealth more evenly with the other continents. The leader was killed in the explosion."
"A suicide bomber."
"Yes. He left behind a message that he was happy to die for his cause. The Alearan government investigated his claims, of course and we helped as best we could, but there was never any evidence to the contrary."
The conversation was beginning to confuse Senara a little. A glance at Talin told her that her mate was following much better than herself, which did not surprise her. Talin was quiet and listened well. Very little information escaped his notice and therefore, he seemed to understand politics such as this better than Senara.
"So, somehow I became aware that something was wrong," Malcolm mused, pacing anew. "Someone must have seen me, incapacitated me and took me away from the building before it blew up." He sat abruptly. "What I don't understand is why? Why not let me blow up with the building? If anything, wouldn't that make it worse for the government?"
"It did," Jon confirmed. "I hate to say it, but the terrorists, in a way, got what they wanted. Matein never gave into their immediate demands, but he did start taking the government in a different direction from his predecessors. One of the reasons I'm here is to help facilitate in the transition from a Capsin-focused Aleara to one that focuses on the entire planet."
There was a prolonged pause as they all sat and thought over the last few minutes. Malcolm finally broke it with a heavy sigh.
"I don't understand it."
"Me either," Jon agreed. "I was going to call Matein soon anyway. He'd have access to all the records of the investigation. Maybe we can try to piece it together now that we know better what to look for."
"Yes, good idea," Malcolm said.
"Wait!" Senara stood, her nerves coming back violently. They were going to spend the rest of the day talking to the Chancellor, most likely without her and she still needed to talk to Jon. There were some things she just had to discuss with him, before she lost her bravery.
"What's wrong, elaen?"
"I was hoping...could I talk with Jon please? Alone?" she asked timidly. Surprise etched both Jon and Malcolm's faces.
"Certainly," Malcolm finally said. "If it's alright with Jon."
"Yes, of course," Jon answered, standing as well. She discerned another crack in his calm demeanor. This couldn't be easy for him either. Senara's reaction to meeting Jon was different than she'd imagined, but Jon hadn't had the chance to prepare at all.
"Come on, Talin. I'll show you the balcony off the bedroom." They walked away into the other room, Malcolm's voice fading as they went. "The view's quite spectacular..."
Jon watched them until the door was shut and then turned back to her, an uncertain smile on his face. "Well." He sat again. "Here we are."
"Yes." She sat as well and tried to sort out her thoughts. "I just wanted to...this is very strange for me. I know it must be for you as well."
"It is," he said, folding his hands in his lap. "Wonderful, of course, but difficult."
"I don't wish to add to your burden," she said. "I just need to know some things. I'm experiencing a...surprising variety of emotions. I thought I would only be happy at meeting you, Jon, but I'm also...afraid."
A short silence met her confession before Jon nodded very slowly. "I am, too." His eyes searched hers. "I'm afraid of losing him again."
"And I'm afraid of losing him for the first time."
She hadn't expected to lay her concerns fully before him so quickly. There was something about this Jonathan Archer, something that made her trust him without thought. Somehow, she knew he wouldn't dismiss her fears, wouldn't dismiss her.
"What things?" he asked, setting aside the main issue until they'd refined it.
"Dad told me you and he were promised for the bonding. Is it true?"
"The bonding?"
"When two people legally bond together for life," she explained. She had a feeling that if men on Earth fell in love, there would be a version of the bonding ceremony for them.
"Oh. Marriage, you mean. That's what it's called on Earth." Leaning over, Jon dug around in his pocket and pulled out something, holding it out for her to see. It was a small golden band. "I gave this to Malcolm about a month before he d...before I thought he died," he corrected himself. "It's an engagement ring. It's meant to signify that we intended to marry."
"Like a promise ring," Senara said and held up her right hand. A delicate silver band adorned her first finger. "Talin gave this to me. He made it himself."
"It's lovely," Jon smiled. "I'm happy for you. I can tell Malcolm is, too."
"Thank you." Not that she hadn't believed Jon and Malcolm's relationship to be serious, but knowing they were promised for the bonding confirmed it for her. "You don't have to tell me, of course, but...are you going to give it to him again?"
He didn't answer for a long time, instead choosing to stare at the ring. Senara began to fear she'd overstepped herself when he finally spoke again. "I think I know what you're asking. And I don't blame you." He sighed. "I keep this ring with me everywhere I go. Malcolm wasn't wearing it when...it happened. He was always worried something would happen to it when he was on duty."
Senara smiled. That sounded very much like her father.
"It was in our quarters. I saw it, the first thing I saw when I got back after." Senara had never seen such pain on another person's face before and she struck with the sudden urge to gather him into her embrace so that he wouldn't look that way anymore. "Needless to say, I didn't take his death very well," he continued before surprising her with a hollow laugh. "Who am I kidding? I was devastated. Just...destroyed. For a very long time after that, I wasn't myself. I mean, I did my job and I spent time with my friends, but I never laughed, I never let anyone new be close to me. I even tried to push my friends away, but they wouldn't allow it."
"They must love you," Senara murmured gently.
"They do." He looked back up at her. "Like you love Malcolm. They took care of me the way you took care of him. I know what you must have done for him because I know what they did for me."
Senara didn't know what to say to that. She'd done nothing more than what was necessary to keep Malcolm alive and relatively happy. "Master Archer," she began, her confused embarrassment pushing her back onto more formal grounds.
"It's ok, Senara. I'm trying to say that no one is going to forget you in this. I'm not. I know for a fact that Malcolm isn't. I just want you to understand how this was for me." His palm turned up, the ring shining in the afternoon sunlight. "I couldn't move on when he died. I kept this ring with me because I couldn't let him go. No matter what I tried, no matter how many people I tried to have a relationship with, it all came back down to the fact that I was still in love with him. It didn't matter that I thought he was dead."
"Your heart," she whispered. "It knew."
"My heart?"
"The holy leaders say that the heart is the most important part of an Alearan," she explained, her voice trembling. "It knows things we don't."
Jon's face tensed, as if he were holding something back. "That's...that's what Malcolm said," he choked out. "He said his heart never forgot me."
"And yours didn't either. You couldn't move on because your relationship wasn't over, Master Archer. Jon," she added hesitantly. "I don't want you to lose him again either." And then she realized with certainty how true that was. "I don't want you lose him more than I'm afraid of losing him myself."
"Senara..." Jon shot out of his chair and hauled her up into his arms. "You won't lose him," he promised, enfolding her into his strong embrace. Senara buried her face into his broad chest and began to cry tears of relief and love. "We'll figure this out, Senara. I won't break up this family. I don't care if I have to move to Aleara myself. I just can't lose him again."
It just made Senara cry harder and the release felt good. Jon held her for a long time, soothing her with gentle hands over her back and she knew with certainty she could trust him. He cared more for Malcolm's needs than his own, just as she always had. They would find a way to stay together.
To be a family together.
"Jon?" Senara asked quietly sometime later. He pulled back and brushed her tears away with one hand.
"What?"
"Don't tell Father what I said."
Confusion filled his countenance. "Why not?"
"If he finds out I'm willing to let him move back to Earth to make him happy and that you are willing to move here to make him happy, he'll be insufferable."
Jon burst into laughter. "Oh my god, you are his daughter."
It was perhaps the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. With a wide smile, she leaned her head against his chest again and felt true peace settle over her for the first time since she’d heard Jon had been found.
“I know it doesn’t make sense. We’ve just met, but I’ve known you almost my whole life,” she said. “I just wanted to say…I love you, Jon.”
His arms tightened around her back and she could feel him tremble. “Thank you, Senara,” he whispered. “Thank you for saving him.”
They didn’t exchange anymore words, just held each other, forming a connection Senara felt would last for a very long time.
**********************************
Part Eleven
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairings: Archer/Reed, T'Pol/Tucker
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Paramount. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta:
tookish_girl. Thanks!Warnings: Still not deathfic.
Summary: Ten years after an explosion on an alien planet, Jon and Malcolm deal with two very different realities.
Author's Notes: None really.
Senara stood on the curb beside the small hotel at which she and Talin were staying, waiting nervously for a car Malcolm had told her would soon arrive. Talin stood with her and the feel of his strong warm hand closed over her own was the only thing keeping her from totally giving into her nerves. It was ridiculous really, she knew, to be so tied in knots over the coming meeting, but she couldn't help it. This was Jon, Malcolm's Jon, the man he'd been seeking for so long. Malcolm had often told Senara that she and Jon were the two most important people to him. And now she was finally meeting him for the first time. What if he didn't like her? What if he was critical of the way she'd cared for Malcolm in their early acquaintance?
What if he wanted to take Malcolm away from her forever?
"I'm nervous," she suddenly said, her emotions finally spilling into the open. Talin squeezed her hand firmly.
"As am I."
She smiled. Talin didn't talk much and never confessed he was troubled to anyone, but herself. That reminder of their relationship helped calm her almost more than his touch.
"Nervous for yourself or for me?"
He contemplated the question for a moment before answering. "Both, I think. And for Master Reed." There was a long pause, but Senara didn't speak, knowing intuitively that he had more to say. "If I had not seen you for so long, I would not know how to handle it."
Her head snapped up from where she'd been looking at their joined hands. "How did...Talin, how did you guess?"
"I've seen that look in many men's eyes," he said simply. Senara continued to stare at him, trying to discern any disgust or animosity on his face. There was none that she could see and she felt vaguely guilty for ever worrying there would be. For all his emotional reserve, Talin was a very loving person and she knew he loved Malcolm as much as she did. It was just such an unusual situation. Senara could still remember her own surprise at learning that Malcolm had not only fallen in love with another man, but had enjoyed a sexual relationship with one. It was years before she even understood how it all worked and only then as a result of a rather embarrassing conversation with Malcolm himself on the matter.
Now, of course, it seemed perfectly natural. Perhaps Malcolm was wrong in his belief that the general population would be able to understand his situation. She nearly snorted. Two days ago, she would have said, perhaps Malcolm should trust his own people more. But he wasn't Alearan. He was Terran, as they were called. Who knew what Terrans thought about things?
Oh holy leaders, this was going to take a lot of getting used to.
"Talin-" But her words were cut off when a large black landcar pulled up right in front of them. A purple-uniformed Alearan stepped out of the driver's side and fixed her with a curious look.
"Senara Reed?"
"Yes." For the next few months anyway, until she and Talin were bonded. And then it would be Senara Weilian.
The driver walked around and opened the door for her and Talin. Senara swallowed hard as she stepped in to sit on the velvety seats. It almost seemed wrong to sit on seats made from fabric ten times nicer than the simple blue dress she wore. Judging by the cautious manner of Talin's movements, he was thinking the same thing. This wasn't something Malcolm had ever recalled when talking about Jon. That his lover was obviously extremely rich.
"I guess Jon makes a lot of money," she commented breathlessly.
"He is a leader of his people," Talin answered as he examined a drinks dispenser set into the wall. "A man who meets with the likes of Chancellor Matein would necessarily have the means to live well."
"It's strange," Senara said as the driver got back into the landcar behind a window that meant they had total privacy. "Dad always said he thought they lived in a small place together."
"It's been many years and Master Reed's memory damaged very severely," Talin replied. "Perhaps he remembered incorrectly."
"Maybe," Senara said reluctantly. She didn't truly believe what her father had remembered was wrong, just incomplete. There was more to the story than she knew. "He seemed really happy on the comm. But tired. I hope he isn't exhausting himself." Because there was every chance he would be. Malcolm often worked himself into the ground, despite Senara's protests. She wondered idly if Jon ever had any luck getting her father to take his own health more seriously.
Her mind wandered in a similar fashion for the rest of the car trip, her thoughts centered firmly on Jon. She'd imagined meeting her father's lover over and over, but never once did she imagine she'd be this worried. Happiness and joy were the only things she felt when thinking about a reunion between the two men. But now she knew that Jon lived so very far away, further than she could possibly grasp and had so much power and wealth. Senara didn't know much about Alearan politics, but she did know that money and power could accomplish just about anything. It was possible that Jon would use his own to make certain Malcolm was never lost to him again by taking him away forever.
But then, despite the thought lingering in the back of her mind, Senara couldn't quite bring herself to believe that Malcolm would have fallen in love with a person like that. The more likely situation, and one twice as frightening and uncomfortable, would be Malcolm choosing to leave on his own, ultimately choosing Jon over Senara. In reality, she knew it made sense, that Jon was Malcolm's soul partner and therefore more important than anyone else. But that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt. She couldn't imagine having to make a decision like that herself and actually, now that she thought about it, she hadn't chosen Talin definitely until speaking with her father.
And then she began to worry that Jon somehow instinctively knew Malcolm better than herself. The shot of jealousy she felt brought her a great deal of shame, but she couldn't seem to help it.
All in all, by the time the car stopped in front of the large and elegant Lawout Hotel, Senara's insides were coiled, frazzled by nerves. Talin must have sensed her distress because once they exited the vehicle and started towards the front doors, he slipped his hand into hers and moved to walk very closely beside her. A measure of peace returned to her then as it always did when she could plainly feel Talin's solid form near hers.
"I love you, Talin," she murmured as the doors were opened for them. Talin squeezed her hand and answered just as softly.
"And I, you."
There was barely time for another deep breath before she heard her father's voice calling her name.
"Senara! Over here, love!"
Turning to her left, she saw Malcolm stand from a overstuffed sofa, a wide smile on his face. For a second she couldn't see Jon, but then a movement just behind Malcolm caught her eye and she saw Jon in reality for the very first time.
He was even more beautiful than in the picture. His eyes were an odd color, not quite green, not quite brown and they shone with intelligence and warmth. Everything about him exuded confidence and authority, from the way he held his head high to his tall strong body. For some reason, the last thing surprised Senara. It was almost disconcerting to see that her father's lover towered over him. Malcolm was such a commanding personality himself. Would he act differently around Jon?
"Elaen," Malcolm greeted her when she'd gotten to his side. He pulled her into a loving embrace before letting her go long enough so that she could kiss him on the cheek. Talin kissed him quickly as well, which Senara could see surprised Jon a little. She didn't quite frown at that. Surely a world where men were intimate with other men would employ a custom as natural as a kiss hello between two men. Earth must be a very strange place, she thought to herself.
"Senara, Talin, I want you to meet Jon," Malcolm said, stepping aside to allow Jon room to move forward. Senara caught a flash of something on Jon's face that might have been nerves, which made her smile. It was the first crack in his seemingly calm facade.
"Master Archer," Senara said warmly, swallowing back her reaction at standing so close to him. If Jon towered over Malcolm, he practically dwarfed Senara, who was a good eight inches shorter than her father. The thought that Talin, at least, was still taller than Jon amused her enough to overcome her persistent nerves and give him the traditional kiss. She thought his face flushed a little, but she couldn't be sure.
"This is my promised mate, Talin," she introduced. Talin stepped forward without hesitation, no sign of intimidation on his strong features and kissed him as well. This time, a faint blush definitely painted Jon's cheeks, but he didn't look offended. Just the opposite actually.
"It's an honor to meet you, Master Archer," Talin said solemnly.
"Please, call me Jon," he said with obvious sincerity, the translator attached to his shirt turning his words into perfect Alearan. "Both of you."
His voice was another surprise. Senara expected it to be a deep bass, tumbling out of that broad chest, but instead it was a light pleasing tenor. Either way, she found she liked it very much.
"It's wonderful to meet you," he continued, making sure to look at them both as he spoke. "I don't really know what else to say," he finished with a smile and a chuckle.
"Me either," she confessed. "There's so much. I don't know where to start."
"Let's start by getting out of the lobby," Malcolm interjected, startling Senara. She'd been so focused on Jon that she's almost forgotten about anyone else. Turning her smile on Malcolm and nodding, she was struck almost breathless by the look she caught him giving Jon. Even in his most candid moments discussing Jon with her, he'd never looked that way. As if his world began and ended with Jon. She felt another flush of shame at her earlier jealous thoughts even as heartfelt delight filled her.
Her father was finally happy again, truly happy.
Malcolm led the way to the lifts, linking hands with Jon as soon as they started moving. Senara flashed a smile to Talin at the sight, which he returned. It would be awhile before it became natural to see her father displaying intimate body language, but even so, she enjoyed seeing it.
The ride in the lift was dominated by small talk, simple questions about the trip from their hotel. Malcolm spoke quickly with just the barest hint of edge to his tone. His version of nerves. It seemed like the only person on the lift not full to bursting with nervous tension was Talin. Perhaps his quiet strength would keep the rest of them from losing themselves completely to their anxiety.
Jon's hotel suite was the largest, grandest place Senara had ever set foot in. She didn't want to pause in the door and gape, but she couldn't stop herself. Luckily, Talin gave her a little shove from behind. He gave her a little half-smile and raised one eyebrow. His message was clear. Don't let his wealth make you feel inferior. He was right, of course. This meeting wasn't about gawking at Jon's things. It was about meeting the other half of her little family.
"This is a beautiful room," she complimented.
"Yes," Jon said as he pulled out some cushioned chairs. "Your government has been very generous. It's a little large, if you ask me." He waved them into the chairs and sat himself. "I'm still used to living on cramped starships to tell you the truth."
"Dad said that was how you met," Senara offered. Hearing his confession put her at ease. "It makes a lot more sense than some of the stories he's told me."
"Stories?" Jon turned to Malcolm, his upper lip quivering slightly. "What kind of stories?"
"Well-" Malcolm started, but Senara cut him off.
"He tells me made up stories about his past. To make me laugh," she confided, giving him a fond look. "You've changed a lot over the years, Jon. You've been a dog trainer, an art teacher, something called a lounge singer..." She thought hard, trying to remember more. "You raised these animals. Gazelles?"
Laughter burst from Jon's mouth. "Thanks a lot, Mal. Of all the things to remember, you remember the gazelle thing."
"You really raised gazelles?" Senara asked in amazement. Which made Jon laugh harder.
"No. Sorry." He stifled his laughter into a fist. "It was just this thing I did, talking about gazelles when it might not have been the best idea." Merriment made his strange eyes dance. "I was never a starship Captain?"
"I don't think so. It's hard to remember them all really. Oh, you know, you were a boat captain once. He said the boat's name was the Indefatigable Treestump. I still don't know what that means."
"Nor do I," Malcolm said wryly. His cheeks were a bit red, but Senara didn't think she'd pushed his discomfort limits just yet, so she plunged ahead.
"It was quite a romantic tale. He said the boat was pinned down by enemy fire and he'd been separated from the rest of the crew on a smaller exploratory vessel. The only logical thing to do was leave him behind to save the rest of the crew, but he said you jumped into another boat and came to save him from drowning, risking your own life and the ship."
"It was just a silly story," Malcolm dismissed, his blush deepening. Senara grinned at him and turned to share a laugh with Jon, but he was staring at Malcolm.
"Not just a story," he said quietly.
Malcolm's expression changed seamlessly from embarrassment to astonished understanding. "Not...?"
"The details aren't...quite the same," he smiled. "But the idea, yes."
"Why in the world..." Malcolm's voice trailed off. Jon shrugged, finally looking away to absently brush something off his pants.
"I couldn't let you die."
The silence in the room suddenly felt very heavy as Malcolm became the one to stare, openmouthed at Jon. Senara shifted in her seat. This wasn't a conversation she and Talin should hear.
"Maybe he remembered other things without knowing it," she blurted out. "I should try to remember more."
Whatever spell had descended over Jon and Malcolm was snapped at her words. "Actually, I was hoping you could help us on that, Senara," Jon said. A knowing look passed between him and Malcolm before he continued. Apparently, they'd spoken about this already. "I know Malcolm's memories are there. That story is just more evidence of that. But I also know that a lot of amnesiacs never really remember the trauma that erased their memories. And we need to know what happened."
Senara nodded, swallowing hard. "I'll do whatever I can to help."
"Thank you." Jon sat forward in his chair and pinned her with a serious look. "Tell me exactly what happened the day you found Malcolm in the forest."
Those memories were painful. She and Malcolm hadn't spoken of it for years because they were difficult for her to recall, but if it would help her father, she would tell everything she knew.
"I had been here to Capsin that week. We have to come every year to record what we produced that year and to get some supplies," she began. "It was...perhaps the third year I'd been alone? My other parents...they died when I was very young."
Sympathy filled Jon's eyes, but he didn't interrupt. She'd seen a similar look in Malcolm's eyes once he'd understood what had happened to her.
"I always hated coming here," she said. "I'm not...there aren't a lot of people in Blaen. All the people were rather overwhelming," she admitted with embarrassment. "So, on the way back, I decided to take a lesser used road, to avoid crowds. It turned out to be even scarier though because there wasn't anyone at all."
"I still can't believe you did that," Malcolm murmured. "You could have been hurt."
"It was worth it, Dad," she countered. "I found him near the road," she said to Jon. "I almost didn't see him, but I heard a noise, like a low moan. At first, I thought it was an animal, but once I looked closer, I just barely saw his hand. I thought someone had taken ill, so I left Enterprise on the side of the road and went to him." This next part was what was so difficult to recall. "There was...he'd been injured. There was so much blood." A queasy feeling ate at her. "So much blood. I...I thought for sure he would die."
"Senara?" Malcolm's quiet voice pulled her gaze from the floor. "You don't have to remember it all at once," he offered softly, tenderness in his eyes.
"No, I can do this, Father," she answered just as quietly. Jon studied them both silently, but Senara couldn't tell what he was thinking. "I tried to wake him up. He was in a lot of pain and couldn't do much more than groan when I moved him. I didn't really know what to do, so I just turned him over and used a bit of material from my skirt to stop some of the bleeding. It had mostly stopped on its own, but it was trickling, you see?"
Everyone nodded. The gesture wasn't necessary, but it helped Senara focus her thoughts anyway. "I looked around for his horse, but there wasn't one. He didn't have any supplies with him, except the knife."
"Knife?" Jon asked, sitting further up in his chair, startling Senara.
"Yes, he had a..." She trailed off as realization hit her. "It was an Alearan knife! The design was unmistakable as that of an Alearan police officer. That's why I wasn't surprised when Dad knew all those defense techniques. I thought he'd been a police officer for awhile until he couldn't find any records of his name with the police force some years later."
"I'd forgotten about that," Malcolm said. He stood abruptly and began to pace. "Why would I have an Alearan knife? Did I have one when you saw me last?" he asked Jon.
"No. You had a phase pistol, a translator and a communicator though," Jon replied, thinking hard. "Someone must have taken them from you. Do you still have the knife?"
"No." Frustration colored his tone. "I sold it for money to use for finding you."
"It had blood on it," Senara volunteered. "But Dad didn't have any knife wounds. I thought he had gotten into a fight with a fellow traveller and used it on them."
"What kind of wounds did Malcolm have?" Jon asked.
"The back of his skull had been beaten and I think some of the bones in his chest were broken. There were a lot of scratches on his arms and face." She paused. "He might have been grazed by the knife; I couldn't really tell."
"Alright." Malcolm stopped pacing and turned to Jon. "Did they ever find out who was responsible for the explosion?"
"A terrorist group calling themselves the Trueain Patriots claimed the explosion about a day after it happened. They were a group from one of the smaller continents. They said it was a warning to the Alearan government to take their demands more seriously."
"What demands?" Malcolm asked.
"That the central government share their wealth more evenly with the other continents. The leader was killed in the explosion."
"A suicide bomber."
"Yes. He left behind a message that he was happy to die for his cause. The Alearan government investigated his claims, of course and we helped as best we could, but there was never any evidence to the contrary."
The conversation was beginning to confuse Senara a little. A glance at Talin told her that her mate was following much better than herself, which did not surprise her. Talin was quiet and listened well. Very little information escaped his notice and therefore, he seemed to understand politics such as this better than Senara.
"So, somehow I became aware that something was wrong," Malcolm mused, pacing anew. "Someone must have seen me, incapacitated me and took me away from the building before it blew up." He sat abruptly. "What I don't understand is why? Why not let me blow up with the building? If anything, wouldn't that make it worse for the government?"
"It did," Jon confirmed. "I hate to say it, but the terrorists, in a way, got what they wanted. Matein never gave into their immediate demands, but he did start taking the government in a different direction from his predecessors. One of the reasons I'm here is to help facilitate in the transition from a Capsin-focused Aleara to one that focuses on the entire planet."
There was a prolonged pause as they all sat and thought over the last few minutes. Malcolm finally broke it with a heavy sigh.
"I don't understand it."
"Me either," Jon agreed. "I was going to call Matein soon anyway. He'd have access to all the records of the investigation. Maybe we can try to piece it together now that we know better what to look for."
"Yes, good idea," Malcolm said.
"Wait!" Senara stood, her nerves coming back violently. They were going to spend the rest of the day talking to the Chancellor, most likely without her and she still needed to talk to Jon. There were some things she just had to discuss with him, before she lost her bravery.
"What's wrong, elaen?"
"I was hoping...could I talk with Jon please? Alone?" she asked timidly. Surprise etched both Jon and Malcolm's faces.
"Certainly," Malcolm finally said. "If it's alright with Jon."
"Yes, of course," Jon answered, standing as well. She discerned another crack in his calm demeanor. This couldn't be easy for him either. Senara's reaction to meeting Jon was different than she'd imagined, but Jon hadn't had the chance to prepare at all.
"Come on, Talin. I'll show you the balcony off the bedroom." They walked away into the other room, Malcolm's voice fading as they went. "The view's quite spectacular..."
Jon watched them until the door was shut and then turned back to her, an uncertain smile on his face. "Well." He sat again. "Here we are."
"Yes." She sat as well and tried to sort out her thoughts. "I just wanted to...this is very strange for me. I know it must be for you as well."
"It is," he said, folding his hands in his lap. "Wonderful, of course, but difficult."
"I don't wish to add to your burden," she said. "I just need to know some things. I'm experiencing a...surprising variety of emotions. I thought I would only be happy at meeting you, Jon, but I'm also...afraid."
A short silence met her confession before Jon nodded very slowly. "I am, too." His eyes searched hers. "I'm afraid of losing him again."
"And I'm afraid of losing him for the first time."
She hadn't expected to lay her concerns fully before him so quickly. There was something about this Jonathan Archer, something that made her trust him without thought. Somehow, she knew he wouldn't dismiss her fears, wouldn't dismiss her.
"What things?" he asked, setting aside the main issue until they'd refined it.
"Dad told me you and he were promised for the bonding. Is it true?"
"The bonding?"
"When two people legally bond together for life," she explained. She had a feeling that if men on Earth fell in love, there would be a version of the bonding ceremony for them.
"Oh. Marriage, you mean. That's what it's called on Earth." Leaning over, Jon dug around in his pocket and pulled out something, holding it out for her to see. It was a small golden band. "I gave this to Malcolm about a month before he d...before I thought he died," he corrected himself. "It's an engagement ring. It's meant to signify that we intended to marry."
"Like a promise ring," Senara said and held up her right hand. A delicate silver band adorned her first finger. "Talin gave this to me. He made it himself."
"It's lovely," Jon smiled. "I'm happy for you. I can tell Malcolm is, too."
"Thank you." Not that she hadn't believed Jon and Malcolm's relationship to be serious, but knowing they were promised for the bonding confirmed it for her. "You don't have to tell me, of course, but...are you going to give it to him again?"
He didn't answer for a long time, instead choosing to stare at the ring. Senara began to fear she'd overstepped herself when he finally spoke again. "I think I know what you're asking. And I don't blame you." He sighed. "I keep this ring with me everywhere I go. Malcolm wasn't wearing it when...it happened. He was always worried something would happen to it when he was on duty."
Senara smiled. That sounded very much like her father.
"It was in our quarters. I saw it, the first thing I saw when I got back after." Senara had never seen such pain on another person's face before and she struck with the sudden urge to gather him into her embrace so that he wouldn't look that way anymore. "Needless to say, I didn't take his death very well," he continued before surprising her with a hollow laugh. "Who am I kidding? I was devastated. Just...destroyed. For a very long time after that, I wasn't myself. I mean, I did my job and I spent time with my friends, but I never laughed, I never let anyone new be close to me. I even tried to push my friends away, but they wouldn't allow it."
"They must love you," Senara murmured gently.
"They do." He looked back up at her. "Like you love Malcolm. They took care of me the way you took care of him. I know what you must have done for him because I know what they did for me."
Senara didn't know what to say to that. She'd done nothing more than what was necessary to keep Malcolm alive and relatively happy. "Master Archer," she began, her confused embarrassment pushing her back onto more formal grounds.
"It's ok, Senara. I'm trying to say that no one is going to forget you in this. I'm not. I know for a fact that Malcolm isn't. I just want you to understand how this was for me." His palm turned up, the ring shining in the afternoon sunlight. "I couldn't move on when he died. I kept this ring with me because I couldn't let him go. No matter what I tried, no matter how many people I tried to have a relationship with, it all came back down to the fact that I was still in love with him. It didn't matter that I thought he was dead."
"Your heart," she whispered. "It knew."
"My heart?"
"The holy leaders say that the heart is the most important part of an Alearan," she explained, her voice trembling. "It knows things we don't."
Jon's face tensed, as if he were holding something back. "That's...that's what Malcolm said," he choked out. "He said his heart never forgot me."
"And yours didn't either. You couldn't move on because your relationship wasn't over, Master Archer. Jon," she added hesitantly. "I don't want you to lose him again either." And then she realized with certainty how true that was. "I don't want you lose him more than I'm afraid of losing him myself."
"Senara..." Jon shot out of his chair and hauled her up into his arms. "You won't lose him," he promised, enfolding her into his strong embrace. Senara buried her face into his broad chest and began to cry tears of relief and love. "We'll figure this out, Senara. I won't break up this family. I don't care if I have to move to Aleara myself. I just can't lose him again."
It just made Senara cry harder and the release felt good. Jon held her for a long time, soothing her with gentle hands over her back and she knew with certainty she could trust him. He cared more for Malcolm's needs than his own, just as she always had. They would find a way to stay together.
To be a family together.
"Jon?" Senara asked quietly sometime later. He pulled back and brushed her tears away with one hand.
"What?"
"Don't tell Father what I said."
Confusion filled his countenance. "Why not?"
"If he finds out I'm willing to let him move back to Earth to make him happy and that you are willing to move here to make him happy, he'll be insufferable."
Jon burst into laughter. "Oh my god, you are his daughter."
It was perhaps the nicest thing anyone had ever said to her. With a wide smile, she leaned her head against his chest again and felt true peace settle over her for the first time since she’d heard Jon had been found.
“I know it doesn’t make sense. We’ve just met, but I’ve known you almost my whole life,” she said. “I just wanted to say…I love you, Jon.”
His arms tightened around her back and she could feel him tremble. “Thank you, Senara,” he whispered. “Thank you for saving him.”
They didn’t exchange anymore words, just held each other, forming a connection Senara felt would last for a very long time.
**********************************
Part Eleven
