FIC: Circle's End, Archer/Reed, 8/16
Feb. 27th, 2007 11:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cloudy_ficTitle: Circle's End, Part Eight
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairings: Archer/Reed, T'Pol/Tucker
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Paramount. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
tookish_girl. Thanks!
Warnings: Still not deathfic.
Summary: Ten years after an explosion on an alien planet, Jon and Malcolm deal with two very different realities.
Author's Notes: Only to say sorry for the little delay. I had trouble connecting with my beta, through no fault on her part. Enjoy!
"I'm actually kinda tired. You?"
T'Pol walked closer to her husband to avoid brushing against a couple of Alearan lovers in the street. "I am feeling quite awake, but if you wish to return to the hotel for a nap, I'm sure I could find something to occupy my time."
Trip squeezed their entwined fingers, surprising T'Pol. She'd almost forgotten they'd been holding hands. On Earth, she generally preferred not to touch in public, partly because she wanted any intimacy to remain private and partly because it often became difficult to focus when in close contact with Trip. Even now, she felt the electric pull of their bond zing throughout her body. At times, it could be quite overwhelming. Especially so with a mate as emotional as Trip.
But here on Aleara, T'Pol needed that connection to help her remain balanced. She had not expected to be so affected returning to the place where such terrible events occurred, but despite the fact that she had long ago examined and synthesized her reaction to Malcolm's death, being here unsettled her. And since she wished to be a useful anchor for Jonathan, she found that she had to rely on Trip to be one for her.
It helped that there were many couples wandering the streets of Capsin on this particular weekend. Their subtle intimacy did not seem to stand out quite so much, if at all.
"You could just lay down with me, you know," Trip said, a gleam in his eye. "Not to sleep. Just to be my pillow."
"I'd be more inclined to do so if you hadn't so blatantly told me that was my only use," she answered evenly, thoroughly enjoying their mutual baiting. It was not logical, but there was much about her relationship with Trip that wasn't. Another thing she had long ago synthesized. The most illogical thing for her to do would be to ignore the demands of her heart.
Trip laughed and T'Pol felt it thrum along their bond, almost bringing a smile to her face. "You are in a very good mood today." When they'd arrived, T'Pol had sensed distress from both Jonathan and Trip, for obvious reasons. However, it seemed that ever since Jonathan had visited the memorial, he'd achieved some measure of peace. If T'Pol had to guess, she'd say that had helped Trip as well. But she still felt somewhat unsettled.
"I guess I am. I thought this trip was going to be terrible, but really, it's not been so bad." He paused, staring to their right for just a moment. "Not great, you know, still hard, but I'm beginning to wonder if it wouldn't have been a good idea to come here sooner. It's like Jonny needed to replace the bad memories, you know?"
T'Pol nodded. That explanation made more sense to her than any she'd been able to come up with. "If the Federation can come to a reasonable and beneficial agreement with the Alearan people, then perhaps it won't seem as if Malcolm died in vain."
"Something like that. I hadn't really thought of it that way, but yeah. Something good to come out of this mess."
They walked along in silence then. T'Pol thought about her comment. It made sense, but something still bothered her, still niggled at her mind. Some kind of impression or reaction she couldn't quite pinpoint. It was frustrating and made all the more frustrating by the fact that her companions were beginning to feel peace. She gave Trip a sidelong glance.
"Trip?"
"Hmmm?"
"I'm pleased you feel better today." She hesitated and Trip smiled.
"But?"
"No buts. I...There is something." Frustration gnawed at her. She didn't often find it difficult to vocalize her thoughts. "I have felt unsettled since we arrived and it has not abated."
"I wondered if you were going to mention it."
Another flash of surprise. "You knew?"
They reached the front steps of the hotel and entered the building. Trip led her over to a set of couches in the lobby and they both sat. He took her hands in his and gave her a serious expression, a kind that only rarely graced his face.
"I've been feeling it, yeah, but I didn't want to press you until you were ready to talk about it."
Warmth flowed through their bond, coming from both directions. In general, Trip was not a patient man, but when it came to their relationship, he worked hard to be and do what T'Pol needed. They'd gotten off to a rocky start and both had long ago learned that if it was going to happen, each would have to work very hard at it. There was little in life T'Pol appreciated more.
"When Jonathan told me he felt better after going to the memorial, I was pleased for him. But the same did not happen for me."
He nodded thoughtfully, the thumb of one hand gently stroking her palm. "Being here isn't replacing the old memories?"
"It isn't that. I had no need to replace the memories." Forgetting the past did not make sense to T'Pol. She did not want to lose what she'd experienced. The problem had more to do with being reminded forcefully of those memories.
Except, she hadn't thought much about Malcolm's actual death, though of course, the memory was impossible to totally avoid. "I have been thinking a lot about Malcolm's life, not his death."
Trip studied her face. She felt a little push against the bond, a question. She answered by relaxing her barriers slightly. More warmth, questing tendrils distinctly Trip floated softly against her mind and she saw his face tense with concentration. This was the ultimate intimacy, but she felt no desire to push him away. She trusted Trip more completely than anyone she knew.
"You miss him," he mumbled a moment later. He retreated gently from her mind and moved in closer to wrap an arm around her shoulder. "Being here makes you remember how much you miss him."
T'Pol stared at the floor, unable to confirm or deny until she examined what he said. Wishing to change the past was illogical and yet, she'd been having errant memories of time spent in Malcolm's company, little things the two of them shared of which she believed neither Trip nor Jonathan was aware. In particular were the many nights they'd spent together in her quarters playing three dimensional chess.
She'd been somewhat surprised the first time he'd shown up at her door with the suggestion that they play the game. Of course, she'd known Malcolm for four years and had always respected and admired him, first for his obvious intelligence and talent, then for his efficiency and loyalty and finally for the way he provided Jonathan with the relationship she knew the Captain had long been searching for. But she hadn't gotten to know him like a real friend until then. And all because neither of them enjoyed the dull and irritating game known as water polo.
Jonathan had long ago dragged Trip into his love of the sport and so, when the games arrived on the wire, T'Pol had always retreated to her quarters and let them enjoy it in peace. And then had discovered that she was not the only person on board the ship involved with a human who became impossible to talk to when a game was playing.
In their private chess sessions, T'Pol had come to know that Malcolm was exactly the kind of man she had suspected he was, compassionate and intelligent. An excellent sparring partner for philosophical debate and one who could appreciate her attempts at subtle humor, even if they failed spectacularly. And they both had one very important thing in common, a mutual affection for Trip Tucker and Jonathan Archer.
"Yes, perhaps you are right," she finally responded. "I wouldn't change that Malcolm spent more time with Jonathan that year than anyone and yet I cannot help, but wish I had had more time with him as well."
Trip rubbed an arm down her side, bringing her a measure of more physical warmth. "I think we all wish that, sweetheart. I don't know what you can do about it though. Meditate?"
"Yes," she agreed. "I'm not sure I'll find peace on this world." Her next thought was not at all logical, but she said it anyway, trusting that Trip wouldn't tease her about such a serious matter. "It is almost like he is closer here than on Earth."
"Yeah. I think that's helpful to Jonny." He hugged her tight. "But it's ok if that's not true for you."
"And what about you?"
"I ain't ever gonna feel happy about it. But I've accepted it better than Jonny." He brushed a small kiss on her forehead, which didn't offend her as the lobby was relatively empty. "Maybe better than you, too. I'm just feeling better because Jonny is and even better now that you've told me what's wrong."
"I'm sorry I didn't mention it earlier," she said, suddenly feeling a twinge of irrational guilt. "I did not mean to worry you."
"It's ok. We all got our own pace. Can't help, but stick to it."
That certainly was logical. They sat together in silence for so long that T'Pol noticed Trip's head drooping slightly towards her shoulder. "We should go back to the room," she said, standing and holding her hand out for him to take. "I believe I will lay down with you." At the moment, nothing sounded more desirable than curling around Trip in their bed and gathering strength from their bond.
"Hey, sounds good to me."
The silence returned for the journey back to the room. T'Pol always enjoyed these times, when words were not necessary and it occurred to her as they stepped off the lift on the fifteenth floor that the past years had changed her in ways she had not thought possible.
To her great surprise, she and Trip had just made it to the door when Jonathan came trotting around the corner, his body trembling slightly, with what emotion, T'Pol could not immediately tell.
"Jonny!" Trip exclaimed. "What are you still doing here?"
T'Pol was wondering the same thing. Jonathan was supposed to be in meetings for the entire day. Her first impression was that something was wrong, but then she looked closer at his face and saw that, while something unexpected had surely happened, he did not look distressed. In fact, when he saw them, his eyes lit up and his lips turned up in a wide grin.
"Trip! T'Pol! The most amazing thing...I don't even know where to start. It's wonderful, amazing...confusing," he babbled. T'Pol could not do nothing, but stare at him. Trip, on the other hand, put his hand on Jonathan's arm, his eyes wide.
"Jonny, calm down. You're about to go bouncing off the ceiling. Here, come on." He pulled Jonathan towards their room, opening the door and gently pushing him into a sofa chair. "Now. Take a deep breath and tell us what the hell you're going on about."
T'Pol sat the bed, already going through the list of possible situations Jonathan could have encountered on this world that would make him seem almost lit from within with some kind of deep emotion she hadn't seen in him for a very long time. It was not very lengthy, but that didn't matter because Jonathan spoke almost immediately.
"It's Malcolm." He shot back out of the chair and began to walk to and fro in front of his two very surprised friends. "You're not going to believe what I'm about to say, so I'm just going to have to ask you to trust me. I promise you I'm not losing my mind." Laughing brightly, he shook his head, a hand carding through his hair. "Though I...I really thought I was at first. So you know, I'll understand if you don't believe me, but I promise it's the truth."
"For god's sake, Jon, what are you talking about?" Trip demanded. T'Pol could see fear flicker in his eyes and she understood why. Jonathan sounded almost unbalanced, like he was about to come apart at the seams. Still, if he was asking them to trust him, T'Pol would try.
"What is it, Jonathan?" she asked. Jonathan sank back into the chair and for a moment, he seemed unable to speak as if he were struggling against something powerful inside himself.
"He's alive," he finally whispered.
The words were so illogical that, at first, T'Pol did not even understand them. She looked from Jonathan to Trip to see if he were in any better shape. His mouth hung open and she could see that his breathing had become harsh.
"Jon...I don't understand. Alive?" Trip's head tilted, an incredulous smile appearing on his face, the one he always got when he couldn't decide if someone was being serious or not. "I...how?"
"I don't know. Something happened that day, but it wasn't what we thought. Malcolm, he...he can't remember. He's lost his memory. He said he can only remember a very little."
"Said?" T'Pol stood, though she did not know why. "You have seen him?"
"He's here," Jonathan said. "In my hotel room. He told me he's been looking for me all this time." His voice broke slightly on his next words. "He finally found me today."
Trip shook his head. "I don't understand. Malcolm...for years, all that time and we thought..." Suddenly, he spun around and trotted to the door. "I wanna see him."
"Hang on!" Jonathan stood, holding a hand out to stop Trip. "Listen to me for a minute. I told you before you went in there because I don't want you freaking him out. He barely remembers anything and this is very overwhelming to him. I've already flipped out on him today. Just...just take it easy on him, ok?"
It did not surprise T'Pol that Jonathan's plea was directed at Trip. Trip had always been fairly emotional, seemingly unable to hide his feelings in any situation, much less in one as dramatic as this. He looked at Jonathan for a long time before finally nodding, taking a deep breath. "I'll try, Jonny. But hell, this..." He trailed off, but Jonathan obviously understood.
"I know."
For her part, T'Pol did not know what to say. She certainly believed Jonathan told the truth, or at least believed himself to be telling the truth. He was not the kind of man to be given to delusions though. The only thing she could think to do was wait until presented with the evidence and then she would be better equipped to deal with this new information.
"Alright, Ok. I think I can do this. Alright. Ok. Let's go." Trip was obviously nervous. T'Pol walked to him, laying a soothing hand on his back and she felt the tension drain out of his shoulders.
"Ok."
Jonathan walked around Trip, opening the door and leading the way to his own suite. T'Pol kept her hand on Trip's back and pushed back the irrational worry she felt for her husband. If Jonathan could handle seeing Malcolm after ten years, surely Trip could.
"Malcolm?" Jonathan asked as they walked in.
"I'm here," came the soft reply, the voice so familiar and yet T'Pol hadn't heard it in so long, it was almost like she was hearing it for the first time. Movement from her left caught her eye and then there was no denying the absolute truth of Jonathan's claim. Malcolm Reed pulled himself out of a chair, his blue eyes flicking nervously from her face to Trip's. "Hello," he said quietly.
"Oh my god," Trip breathed, staring openly. "Malcolm...oh my god."
Malcolm smiled shyly. "Hello, Trip."
"Malcolm!" Hearing Malcolm speak his name seemed to energize Trip. He marched over to the other man and clamped his hands on both of Malcolm's upper arms.
"Holy fucking shit, Malcolm, you're alive!"
"Yes," Malcolm laughed. "I've missed you, Trip. I'm sorry...I can't really...but I did miss you. I missed you all," he said, glancing quickly in Jonathan's direction.
'It's ok," Trip choked out, tears in his voice. "I missed you too, man. Ya have no idea." He shook Malcolm a little, as if to test his solidness, but then drew back, obviously restraining himself.
"I do, I really do." He looked past Trip's shoulder at T'Pol, the shy smile returning. "Hello, T'Pol."
Trip spun around, grabbing her hand and pulling her forward. "Can you believe it, T'Pol? He's really here!"
But T'Pol barely heard his words. Her mind was working quickly, trying to process what she was seeing and failing. The old memories she'd been having before returned forcefully, images of Malcolm laughing at her latest foray into understanding humans or nodding thoughtfully as she expounded on ancient Vulcan philosophy. Thoughts of all the lost time, of how Jonathan had suffered so much and how she hadn't realized just how much she missed having Malcolm Reed in her life until she was forced to constantly relive their interactions. It was too much and she only knew one way to deal with it.
She threw her arms around his shoulders and dragged him desperately against herself, hugging him fiercely and ignoring the warning from her mind that she might be strong enough to break a few of his ribs.
Malcolm let out a gasp of surprise, but soon enough returned the hug, burying his face in her neck, a small tremble going through his body. "I missed you too, T'Pol," he murmured in her ear.
When she stepped back, Trip was giving them both an amazed look and beyond him, she could see Jonathan staring at Malcolm, his throat muscles working as if he were swallowing very hard.
"It's good to see you again," she said, leaving his name unsaid at the last second. She'd never called him by his first name to his face, having only picked up the habit after his supposed death when it had seemed wrong to keep calling him Lieutenant Reed around his grieving lover. That simple hesitation told T'Pol it would take a great deal of adjusting until she was used to being around Malcolm again.
"Well, hell, if it's ok for T'Pol," Trip enthused before leaning in and grabbing Malcolm up in what T'Pol knew he would call a 'bear hug'. Malcolm grunted harshly, but he returned the hug and T'Pol thought maybe Jonathan had underestimated his ability to handle this situation. Then again, she was not privy to their earlier interactions. It was very possible that the emotions tied to seeing Jonathan again were simply more overwhelming than those attached to seeing herself and Trip again.
Once Trip relinquished his hold on Malcolm, T’Pol saw that the younger man’s face was flushed and lined with fatigue, but he looked pleased.
“It's good to see you both. Really. I can't..." Suddenly, his demeanor changed. It was if something he'd been holding back broke and the day's events had caught up with him. The happiness was still there, as far as T'Pol could tell, but he seemed to fold in on himself, barely managing to sit on the side of the large bed. "I'm sorry. I haven't slept much..."
"Hey, no, look, it's ok," Trip interrupted, worry darkening his gaze. "Hey." He knelt in front of Malcolm, a wide smile on his face. "We got time. If you need to sleep, we'll clear out and come back later." Reaching out slowly, Trip placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.
Malcolm nodded jerkily. "Thanks."
Trip stood again. "We're in the next room." He glanced to Jonathan. "Just come and get us again whenever you want."
T'Pol joined him, taking his hand, craving his contact. Trip reached down to squeeze Malcolm's shoulder one last time before walking towards the door, stopping to pull Jonathan into a gentler hug. T'Pol heard him whisper something in Jonathan's ear, but the only words she could make out were happy and love. She laid a hand on Jonathan's arm, not able to come up with words at all, but Jonathan nodding quickly, understanding and affection in his gaze.
With one last glance to Malcolm, they left and as soon as they were back in their room, Trip swept T'Pol up into his arms, hugging her tightly, sudden moisture on her neck telling her that whatever emotions Trip had been holding back were now freely coursing down his face.
"T'Pol," he murmured, but he did not have to say anything more.
She understood perfectly.
***********************************
Part Nine
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairings: Archer/Reed, T'Pol/Tucker
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Paramount. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta:
tookish_girl. Thanks!Warnings: Still not deathfic.
Summary: Ten years after an explosion on an alien planet, Jon and Malcolm deal with two very different realities.
Author's Notes: Only to say sorry for the little delay. I had trouble connecting with my beta, through no fault on her part. Enjoy!
"I'm actually kinda tired. You?"
T'Pol walked closer to her husband to avoid brushing against a couple of Alearan lovers in the street. "I am feeling quite awake, but if you wish to return to the hotel for a nap, I'm sure I could find something to occupy my time."
Trip squeezed their entwined fingers, surprising T'Pol. She'd almost forgotten they'd been holding hands. On Earth, she generally preferred not to touch in public, partly because she wanted any intimacy to remain private and partly because it often became difficult to focus when in close contact with Trip. Even now, she felt the electric pull of their bond zing throughout her body. At times, it could be quite overwhelming. Especially so with a mate as emotional as Trip.
But here on Aleara, T'Pol needed that connection to help her remain balanced. She had not expected to be so affected returning to the place where such terrible events occurred, but despite the fact that she had long ago examined and synthesized her reaction to Malcolm's death, being here unsettled her. And since she wished to be a useful anchor for Jonathan, she found that she had to rely on Trip to be one for her.
It helped that there were many couples wandering the streets of Capsin on this particular weekend. Their subtle intimacy did not seem to stand out quite so much, if at all.
"You could just lay down with me, you know," Trip said, a gleam in his eye. "Not to sleep. Just to be my pillow."
"I'd be more inclined to do so if you hadn't so blatantly told me that was my only use," she answered evenly, thoroughly enjoying their mutual baiting. It was not logical, but there was much about her relationship with Trip that wasn't. Another thing she had long ago synthesized. The most illogical thing for her to do would be to ignore the demands of her heart.
Trip laughed and T'Pol felt it thrum along their bond, almost bringing a smile to her face. "You are in a very good mood today." When they'd arrived, T'Pol had sensed distress from both Jonathan and Trip, for obvious reasons. However, it seemed that ever since Jonathan had visited the memorial, he'd achieved some measure of peace. If T'Pol had to guess, she'd say that had helped Trip as well. But she still felt somewhat unsettled.
"I guess I am. I thought this trip was going to be terrible, but really, it's not been so bad." He paused, staring to their right for just a moment. "Not great, you know, still hard, but I'm beginning to wonder if it wouldn't have been a good idea to come here sooner. It's like Jonny needed to replace the bad memories, you know?"
T'Pol nodded. That explanation made more sense to her than any she'd been able to come up with. "If the Federation can come to a reasonable and beneficial agreement with the Alearan people, then perhaps it won't seem as if Malcolm died in vain."
"Something like that. I hadn't really thought of it that way, but yeah. Something good to come out of this mess."
They walked along in silence then. T'Pol thought about her comment. It made sense, but something still bothered her, still niggled at her mind. Some kind of impression or reaction she couldn't quite pinpoint. It was frustrating and made all the more frustrating by the fact that her companions were beginning to feel peace. She gave Trip a sidelong glance.
"Trip?"
"Hmmm?"
"I'm pleased you feel better today." She hesitated and Trip smiled.
"But?"
"No buts. I...There is something." Frustration gnawed at her. She didn't often find it difficult to vocalize her thoughts. "I have felt unsettled since we arrived and it has not abated."
"I wondered if you were going to mention it."
Another flash of surprise. "You knew?"
They reached the front steps of the hotel and entered the building. Trip led her over to a set of couches in the lobby and they both sat. He took her hands in his and gave her a serious expression, a kind that only rarely graced his face.
"I've been feeling it, yeah, but I didn't want to press you until you were ready to talk about it."
Warmth flowed through their bond, coming from both directions. In general, Trip was not a patient man, but when it came to their relationship, he worked hard to be and do what T'Pol needed. They'd gotten off to a rocky start and both had long ago learned that if it was going to happen, each would have to work very hard at it. There was little in life T'Pol appreciated more.
"When Jonathan told me he felt better after going to the memorial, I was pleased for him. But the same did not happen for me."
He nodded thoughtfully, the thumb of one hand gently stroking her palm. "Being here isn't replacing the old memories?"
"It isn't that. I had no need to replace the memories." Forgetting the past did not make sense to T'Pol. She did not want to lose what she'd experienced. The problem had more to do with being reminded forcefully of those memories.
Except, she hadn't thought much about Malcolm's actual death, though of course, the memory was impossible to totally avoid. "I have been thinking a lot about Malcolm's life, not his death."
Trip studied her face. She felt a little push against the bond, a question. She answered by relaxing her barriers slightly. More warmth, questing tendrils distinctly Trip floated softly against her mind and she saw his face tense with concentration. This was the ultimate intimacy, but she felt no desire to push him away. She trusted Trip more completely than anyone she knew.
"You miss him," he mumbled a moment later. He retreated gently from her mind and moved in closer to wrap an arm around her shoulder. "Being here makes you remember how much you miss him."
T'Pol stared at the floor, unable to confirm or deny until she examined what he said. Wishing to change the past was illogical and yet, she'd been having errant memories of time spent in Malcolm's company, little things the two of them shared of which she believed neither Trip nor Jonathan was aware. In particular were the many nights they'd spent together in her quarters playing three dimensional chess.
She'd been somewhat surprised the first time he'd shown up at her door with the suggestion that they play the game. Of course, she'd known Malcolm for four years and had always respected and admired him, first for his obvious intelligence and talent, then for his efficiency and loyalty and finally for the way he provided Jonathan with the relationship she knew the Captain had long been searching for. But she hadn't gotten to know him like a real friend until then. And all because neither of them enjoyed the dull and irritating game known as water polo.
Jonathan had long ago dragged Trip into his love of the sport and so, when the games arrived on the wire, T'Pol had always retreated to her quarters and let them enjoy it in peace. And then had discovered that she was not the only person on board the ship involved with a human who became impossible to talk to when a game was playing.
In their private chess sessions, T'Pol had come to know that Malcolm was exactly the kind of man she had suspected he was, compassionate and intelligent. An excellent sparring partner for philosophical debate and one who could appreciate her attempts at subtle humor, even if they failed spectacularly. And they both had one very important thing in common, a mutual affection for Trip Tucker and Jonathan Archer.
"Yes, perhaps you are right," she finally responded. "I wouldn't change that Malcolm spent more time with Jonathan that year than anyone and yet I cannot help, but wish I had had more time with him as well."
Trip rubbed an arm down her side, bringing her a measure of more physical warmth. "I think we all wish that, sweetheart. I don't know what you can do about it though. Meditate?"
"Yes," she agreed. "I'm not sure I'll find peace on this world." Her next thought was not at all logical, but she said it anyway, trusting that Trip wouldn't tease her about such a serious matter. "It is almost like he is closer here than on Earth."
"Yeah. I think that's helpful to Jonny." He hugged her tight. "But it's ok if that's not true for you."
"And what about you?"
"I ain't ever gonna feel happy about it. But I've accepted it better than Jonny." He brushed a small kiss on her forehead, which didn't offend her as the lobby was relatively empty. "Maybe better than you, too. I'm just feeling better because Jonny is and even better now that you've told me what's wrong."
"I'm sorry I didn't mention it earlier," she said, suddenly feeling a twinge of irrational guilt. "I did not mean to worry you."
"It's ok. We all got our own pace. Can't help, but stick to it."
That certainly was logical. They sat together in silence for so long that T'Pol noticed Trip's head drooping slightly towards her shoulder. "We should go back to the room," she said, standing and holding her hand out for him to take. "I believe I will lay down with you." At the moment, nothing sounded more desirable than curling around Trip in their bed and gathering strength from their bond.
"Hey, sounds good to me."
The silence returned for the journey back to the room. T'Pol always enjoyed these times, when words were not necessary and it occurred to her as they stepped off the lift on the fifteenth floor that the past years had changed her in ways she had not thought possible.
To her great surprise, she and Trip had just made it to the door when Jonathan came trotting around the corner, his body trembling slightly, with what emotion, T'Pol could not immediately tell.
"Jonny!" Trip exclaimed. "What are you still doing here?"
T'Pol was wondering the same thing. Jonathan was supposed to be in meetings for the entire day. Her first impression was that something was wrong, but then she looked closer at his face and saw that, while something unexpected had surely happened, he did not look distressed. In fact, when he saw them, his eyes lit up and his lips turned up in a wide grin.
"Trip! T'Pol! The most amazing thing...I don't even know where to start. It's wonderful, amazing...confusing," he babbled. T'Pol could not do nothing, but stare at him. Trip, on the other hand, put his hand on Jonathan's arm, his eyes wide.
"Jonny, calm down. You're about to go bouncing off the ceiling. Here, come on." He pulled Jonathan towards their room, opening the door and gently pushing him into a sofa chair. "Now. Take a deep breath and tell us what the hell you're going on about."
T'Pol sat the bed, already going through the list of possible situations Jonathan could have encountered on this world that would make him seem almost lit from within with some kind of deep emotion she hadn't seen in him for a very long time. It was not very lengthy, but that didn't matter because Jonathan spoke almost immediately.
"It's Malcolm." He shot back out of the chair and began to walk to and fro in front of his two very surprised friends. "You're not going to believe what I'm about to say, so I'm just going to have to ask you to trust me. I promise you I'm not losing my mind." Laughing brightly, he shook his head, a hand carding through his hair. "Though I...I really thought I was at first. So you know, I'll understand if you don't believe me, but I promise it's the truth."
"For god's sake, Jon, what are you talking about?" Trip demanded. T'Pol could see fear flicker in his eyes and she understood why. Jonathan sounded almost unbalanced, like he was about to come apart at the seams. Still, if he was asking them to trust him, T'Pol would try.
"What is it, Jonathan?" she asked. Jonathan sank back into the chair and for a moment, he seemed unable to speak as if he were struggling against something powerful inside himself.
"He's alive," he finally whispered.
The words were so illogical that, at first, T'Pol did not even understand them. She looked from Jonathan to Trip to see if he were in any better shape. His mouth hung open and she could see that his breathing had become harsh.
"Jon...I don't understand. Alive?" Trip's head tilted, an incredulous smile appearing on his face, the one he always got when he couldn't decide if someone was being serious or not. "I...how?"
"I don't know. Something happened that day, but it wasn't what we thought. Malcolm, he...he can't remember. He's lost his memory. He said he can only remember a very little."
"Said?" T'Pol stood, though she did not know why. "You have seen him?"
"He's here," Jonathan said. "In my hotel room. He told me he's been looking for me all this time." His voice broke slightly on his next words. "He finally found me today."
Trip shook his head. "I don't understand. Malcolm...for years, all that time and we thought..." Suddenly, he spun around and trotted to the door. "I wanna see him."
"Hang on!" Jonathan stood, holding a hand out to stop Trip. "Listen to me for a minute. I told you before you went in there because I don't want you freaking him out. He barely remembers anything and this is very overwhelming to him. I've already flipped out on him today. Just...just take it easy on him, ok?"
It did not surprise T'Pol that Jonathan's plea was directed at Trip. Trip had always been fairly emotional, seemingly unable to hide his feelings in any situation, much less in one as dramatic as this. He looked at Jonathan for a long time before finally nodding, taking a deep breath. "I'll try, Jonny. But hell, this..." He trailed off, but Jonathan obviously understood.
"I know."
For her part, T'Pol did not know what to say. She certainly believed Jonathan told the truth, or at least believed himself to be telling the truth. He was not the kind of man to be given to delusions though. The only thing she could think to do was wait until presented with the evidence and then she would be better equipped to deal with this new information.
"Alright, Ok. I think I can do this. Alright. Ok. Let's go." Trip was obviously nervous. T'Pol walked to him, laying a soothing hand on his back and she felt the tension drain out of his shoulders.
"Ok."
Jonathan walked around Trip, opening the door and leading the way to his own suite. T'Pol kept her hand on Trip's back and pushed back the irrational worry she felt for her husband. If Jonathan could handle seeing Malcolm after ten years, surely Trip could.
"Malcolm?" Jonathan asked as they walked in.
"I'm here," came the soft reply, the voice so familiar and yet T'Pol hadn't heard it in so long, it was almost like she was hearing it for the first time. Movement from her left caught her eye and then there was no denying the absolute truth of Jonathan's claim. Malcolm Reed pulled himself out of a chair, his blue eyes flicking nervously from her face to Trip's. "Hello," he said quietly.
"Oh my god," Trip breathed, staring openly. "Malcolm...oh my god."
Malcolm smiled shyly. "Hello, Trip."
"Malcolm!" Hearing Malcolm speak his name seemed to energize Trip. He marched over to the other man and clamped his hands on both of Malcolm's upper arms.
"Holy fucking shit, Malcolm, you're alive!"
"Yes," Malcolm laughed. "I've missed you, Trip. I'm sorry...I can't really...but I did miss you. I missed you all," he said, glancing quickly in Jonathan's direction.
'It's ok," Trip choked out, tears in his voice. "I missed you too, man. Ya have no idea." He shook Malcolm a little, as if to test his solidness, but then drew back, obviously restraining himself.
"I do, I really do." He looked past Trip's shoulder at T'Pol, the shy smile returning. "Hello, T'Pol."
Trip spun around, grabbing her hand and pulling her forward. "Can you believe it, T'Pol? He's really here!"
But T'Pol barely heard his words. Her mind was working quickly, trying to process what she was seeing and failing. The old memories she'd been having before returned forcefully, images of Malcolm laughing at her latest foray into understanding humans or nodding thoughtfully as she expounded on ancient Vulcan philosophy. Thoughts of all the lost time, of how Jonathan had suffered so much and how she hadn't realized just how much she missed having Malcolm Reed in her life until she was forced to constantly relive their interactions. It was too much and she only knew one way to deal with it.
She threw her arms around his shoulders and dragged him desperately against herself, hugging him fiercely and ignoring the warning from her mind that she might be strong enough to break a few of his ribs.
Malcolm let out a gasp of surprise, but soon enough returned the hug, burying his face in her neck, a small tremble going through his body. "I missed you too, T'Pol," he murmured in her ear.
When she stepped back, Trip was giving them both an amazed look and beyond him, she could see Jonathan staring at Malcolm, his throat muscles working as if he were swallowing very hard.
"It's good to see you again," she said, leaving his name unsaid at the last second. She'd never called him by his first name to his face, having only picked up the habit after his supposed death when it had seemed wrong to keep calling him Lieutenant Reed around his grieving lover. That simple hesitation told T'Pol it would take a great deal of adjusting until she was used to being around Malcolm again.
"Well, hell, if it's ok for T'Pol," Trip enthused before leaning in and grabbing Malcolm up in what T'Pol knew he would call a 'bear hug'. Malcolm grunted harshly, but he returned the hug and T'Pol thought maybe Jonathan had underestimated his ability to handle this situation. Then again, she was not privy to their earlier interactions. It was very possible that the emotions tied to seeing Jonathan again were simply more overwhelming than those attached to seeing herself and Trip again.
Once Trip relinquished his hold on Malcolm, T’Pol saw that the younger man’s face was flushed and lined with fatigue, but he looked pleased.
“It's good to see you both. Really. I can't..." Suddenly, his demeanor changed. It was if something he'd been holding back broke and the day's events had caught up with him. The happiness was still there, as far as T'Pol could tell, but he seemed to fold in on himself, barely managing to sit on the side of the large bed. "I'm sorry. I haven't slept much..."
"Hey, no, look, it's ok," Trip interrupted, worry darkening his gaze. "Hey." He knelt in front of Malcolm, a wide smile on his face. "We got time. If you need to sleep, we'll clear out and come back later." Reaching out slowly, Trip placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing gently.
Malcolm nodded jerkily. "Thanks."
Trip stood again. "We're in the next room." He glanced to Jonathan. "Just come and get us again whenever you want."
T'Pol joined him, taking his hand, craving his contact. Trip reached down to squeeze Malcolm's shoulder one last time before walking towards the door, stopping to pull Jonathan into a gentler hug. T'Pol heard him whisper something in Jonathan's ear, but the only words she could make out were happy and love. She laid a hand on Jonathan's arm, not able to come up with words at all, but Jonathan nodding quickly, understanding and affection in his gaze.
With one last glance to Malcolm, they left and as soon as they were back in their room, Trip swept T'Pol up into his arms, hugging her tightly, sudden moisture on her neck telling her that whatever emotions Trip had been holding back were now freely coursing down his face.
"T'Pol," he murmured, but he did not have to say anything more.
She understood perfectly.
***********************************
Part Nine
