FIC: Circle's End, 7/16

[cloudy_fic]

Title: Circle's End, Part Seven
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Enterprise
Pairings: Archer/Reed, T'Pol/Tucker
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Paramount. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Beta: tookish_girl. Thanks!
Warnings: Still not deathfic.
Summary: Ten years after an explosion on an alien planet, Jon and Malcolm deal with two very different realities.
Author's Notes: Jon and Malcolm begin to find their balance together.





Jon's hotel room was massive, taken up with an obscenely large bed and wooden desk. Tall open windows provided bright swaths of yellow light, enhancing the touches of gold scattered throughout the room on door handles, bed posts and painting frames. Malcolm stood still in the doorway after Jon had already walked into the room and took a moment to marvel at the opulence so decidedly missing from his life in Blaen.

"My God..."

Jon looked up from where he'd been checking messages on his computer. "What is it?"

"This room. It's...large," he stated, somewhat lamely. Jon glanced around the room as if he'd never really seen it before and shrugged.

"I guess it is. I hadn't really noticed."

Malcolm shot him an incredulous look. "Used to the best of everything then?"

That seemed to stop Jon in his tracks. He carefully sat in his desk chair and contemplated Malcolm for a moment.

"Not exactly. I've just been distracted." A pause. "I take it you aren't."

Malcolm wished he hadn't brought it up. "Not really." The chance that Jonathan would think any less of him for his humble life was slim, non-existent even, but now that he looked around this expensive room, he couldn't help feeling embarrassed. Had he and Jonathan always lived this way? And if so, what would Jon think when he discovered that Malcolm was nothing more than a farmer?

"What's the matter?" Jon stood and went to Malcolm, encircling his waist with both arms. A flush of warmth heated Malcolm's face. It was a stupid thing to worry about. No matter the circumstances, Malcolm knew Jon was overjoyed to see him and Malcolm felt the same way.

Still, despite how wonderful it felt to lean against Jon again, Malcolm couldn't ignore how far apart their lives were now. And how hard it was going to be trying to integrate them together once again.

Then again, standing there feeling Jon’s hands stroking his back, Malcolm knew he wanted to try, no matter how difficult it was.

"I'm alright. Still overwhelmed I think."

"Yeah. I know what you mean. I still keep expecting to wake up," Jon admitted, though his smile told Malcolm he was beginning to believe it. "I love you."

"I love you." Somehow, Malcolm didn't think he'd ever tire of saying that particular phrase. He hugged Jon close once more, aware that the novelty of that action wouldn't soon wear either, and kissed his neck. "I love you so much."

A massive sigh expanded Jon's chest, rippling through Malcolm's body. "God, Mal. I just..."

There were no words anyone could use to accurately describe what Malcolm knew they were both feeling, so he just leaned up and kissed Jon deeply, passionately and felt a jolt of pleasure settle almost suddenly in his groin. He couldn't help, but moan just slightly in the back of his throat and the effect of it on Jon was intense. Malcolm felt Jon's arms tighten and one of his hands stroked purposefully down his back to cup his ass. Desire flamed brightly in Malcolm's belly and at that moment, there was almost nothing more he wanted than to drag Jonathan to that large bed and start making up for lost time.

But there was still so much he didn't know, so many things to find out. Malcolm didn't want to make love with Jon until he could do it with a clear mind, could be with him with his whole heart.

He broke off the kiss reluctantly, struggling to calm his heart and stop his breaths from coming in short gasps.

"Jon...I want...everything. But it's...I need to know..."

A gentle hand on his face stopped his string of words. "I know. It's ok," he said, understanding in his voice. "I'm not...I think it might be...we should take time..."

Malcolm surprised himself by chuckling. "Tell me, Jon. Were we always this eloquent with one another?"

Jon smiled, any earlier awkwardness immediately dissipating. "I have to tell you, Malcolm, thinking back over our relationship from the time we first met, I'd say this qualifies as downright poetic for us."

Curiosity filled Malcolm's mind, but he pushed it away as something else altogether occurred to him. "I just remembered." He shook his head. "I can't believe I forgot." Malcolm knew he shouldn't tease, but he couldn't seem to stop himself from mirroring Jon's earlier actions and stroking a hand over Jon's ass. "Guess I got carried away."

Jon's forehead fell onto Malcolm's shoulder. "Hmmm...yes, carried away."

Malcolm felt the heat of desire building again rapidly, so with a frown of reluctance, he gently disengaged himself from Jon's embrace. "I have to contact Senara somehow. I told her I would as soon as I could."

"Of course, you can use my comm if you want." His eyebrows came together and his face tensed.

"What?"

"I just thought...there is so much we have to do now," he answered quietly, as if the thought took his breath away. "I don't even know where to start. We'll have to inform Alearan and Terran officials, you have to see a doctor-"

"Doctor?" Malcolm interrupted. "I feel perfectly fine."

Jon smiled and slid his arms back around Malcolm's waist, though he didn't pull him quite as close. "I'm sure you do. But you still should be checked out. And they might be able to tell us if there's hope of you regaining some of your memories. I mean, you already can remember some things when they're mentioned, right?"

"Some, yes. Though, of course, if I didn't have a reaction to something familiar, I wouldn't know it, I guess." Confusion began to feel like a constant companion. "Ok, a doctor. But really, the first thing I have to do is call Senara."

"Right." Jon started to move away, but stopped himself long enough to lean forward and kiss Malcolm slowly. "Go ahead. I'll just step into the other room. Oh my god!"

His change in mood startled Malcolm, causing him to grasp Jon's arms tightly.

"What? What's the matter?"

"I just remembered. In all the...I forgot. Trip and T'Pol."

The names tugged at Malcolm's mind slightly, letting him know that he probably knew them, but he didn't know how. "Trip and T'Pol," he repeated, getting a feel for the names in his mouth.

"Do you remember them?" Jon asked wonderingly. Malcolm hated to disappoint, but names didn't give him any significant twinges of recognition. He could tell by the look on Jon's face that he should know these people. A sudden sick feeling settled in his stomach. This was going to happen over and over. Friends, colleagues, family...how was Malcolm going to feel if he met his own mother and couldn't remember a thing about her?

"Malcolm?" His distress must have shown on his face. Malcolm smoothed out his features and gave Jon a thin smile.

"This is going to be more difficult than I had realized. I hadn't really thought past finding you again."

"I can't imagine how you must be feeling," Jon said softly. Malcolm unconsciously leaned closer to him, barely resisting the urge to bury his face in Jon's shoulder as he continued talking. "All this happens at a pace you're comfortable with, Malcolm. However you want it to happen. The only people here besides me that you know well are Trip and T'Pol. They're friends of ours. But if you don't want to see them right away, that's fine too. I'll explain it to them." His hands came up to cup Malcolm's face. "However you want to do this, love."

His anxiety lessened, though he couldn't tell for sure whether it was due to Jon's words or simply his presence. "They're friends?"

"Yes, good friends. Trip is your best friend actually."

"And here I thought you were my best friend," Malcolm said with a smile he didn't quite feel. He still felt disoriented and could definitely tell that his earlier worries were only diminished for the moment and not gone forever. Especially since he was beginning to realize that Jon probably assumed Malcolm would return to Earth with him and he wasn't quite sure how he felt about that.

"True." Jon smiled. "Trip is your best friend you didn't sleep with. Um, a taller guy with blondish hair-"

"And blue eyes?" So, Malcolm did remember him. That made him feel slightly better. "Yes, I do remember him. Is T'Pol the woman with the ears?"

That made Jon laugh. "Yes, yes she is. And I'm sure she would be thrilled to hear you describe her like that."

"Why the ears...no, let me guess. She's an alien."

"A Vulcan, yes."

Malcolm's head felt dizzy. "Will wonders never cease..." he murmured, more to himself than anything. Jon gave him a worried glance.

"I'm sorry. I'm saying too much." He led Malcolm over to the bed and gently pushed him down on it. "Just sit for a minute. Then call your daughter." He pointed towards an adjoining door. "I'll be in the living area if you need me."

He started to leave, but Malcolm grabbed his forearm, feeling a small surge of panic at the thought of Jon leaving him. It was the first time since he found Jon that his lover would be out of his sight. Jon stopped and turned towards him. His eyes were gentle, tinged with understanding.

"It's ok. I'm not going anywhere." Warm hands covered either side of Malcolm's face. "Not when I've found you again."

The knot of tension in Malcolm's chest eased at his words. Perhaps the fear of abandonment hadn't been completely eradicated. Malcolm closed his eyes and laid his hands over Jon's on his face. This was going to be harder than he ever imagined.
"I love you," he whispered again. Jon's answer was to lean down and kiss him slowly, rebuilding and connecting, reacquainting and loving. Intimacy was beginning to feel more familiar.

"I love you." Their eyes met for a long moment before Jon turned to leave and Malcolm could see Jon meant every word he was saying, could see how intensely he felt them. His gaze told Malcolm how this must have been for Jon. For years, Malcolm didn't know where Jon was, but at least he had the hope of finding him again, had the hope that they had been separated unwillingly. Jon hadn't had even that. The thought hurt Malcolm deeply.

"Whenever you need me," Jon said again and then he disappeared into the next room. Malcolm sat on the bed for a moment to collect himself. There had been too much emotion streaming in his mind and heart that day for him to feel completely relaxed, especially without Jon's comforting presence. So he just pushed as much of it aside as he could and went to the comm. After a long time spent trying to convince the hotel manager to fetch Senara from her room, Malcolm finally saw her anxious face fill the screen and then all the emotions came pouring back.

"Father? What happened?"

Malcolm took a deep breath, but even then, he couldn't stop his voice from cracking slightly.

"You were right, Senara. You were right all along."

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Part Eight