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Title: Ask
Author: CloudyJenn
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairings: Dean/Castiel
Rating: R
Word Count: 2000+
Disclaimer: These characters do not belong to me. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
Warnings: some language
Summary: Dean realizes there’s something he should probably ask Castiel.
Author's Notes: This is set between Meet and Return. Written for [livejournal.com profile] blue_fjords


This time, Dean's tour only lasted four months. He'd made it clear to his commander he wanted out of the Greenwings, but the only way he could leave the unit without guilt was to put in one last mission. That way, he could help train his replacement and tie up the loose ends from his previous assignments. Once he returned to Earth, Dean would take a command post in the regular Navy charged with defending the near borders.

Which meant he could return home every night and stop missing Castiel so bad it ached deep in his bones. Dean loved the men and women of his unit like they were family, but in comparison to Castiel, everyone seemed so damn boring.

He fully recognized being bugfuck crazy in love skewed his perspective. But Dean was okay with that.

"Only two weeks now, Captain. You're going to miss us when you're gone."

The teasing voice belonged to Jo Harvelle, one of Dean's more valuable lieutenants. Well, they were all valuable, but Jo was better at the job than most. Knowing he could absolutely trust someone in a firefight was endlessly priceless.

"Yeah, right. Like a knife wound in the side," Dean deadpanned, not bothering to lift his eyes from the infopad in his hands.

"I hope all the sex puts you in a better mood at least," Jo quipped as she threw herself into the chair across from Dean.

"Oh you have no idea," he responded with a cocky grin. Unlike Castiel, who would never think to discuss his sex life with others, Dean wasn't shy about boasting that he had the hottest boyfriend, the best and most frequent sex, that he wrung Castiel out on a regular basis, etc. Thing of it was, Dean had always bragged about sex, but this time, it wasn't exaggeration.
Well, not all exaggeration. Dean did have a reputation to protect.

"Well, good riddance. We're better off without a lust-distracted commander," she declared, but they both knew she wasn't serious. No matter how much being away from Castiel hurt, Dean had been practicing for years with his long separations from Sam. He knew well how to push aside distractions to do the job.

But leaving Sam was bad enough. Leaving Sam and Castiel every time pushed Dean past his limits.

"How do you think you're going to handle a boring old patrol command?"

Jo's point held some truth. Compared to the tense and dangerous secret missions of the Greenwings, the well-documented threats along the near borders would be almost relaxing. But anything could happen in times of conflict and by monitoring Earth's closest defense, Dean would be part of the last shield protecting the Earth from Lunar forces. In the event of all out war, the commanders stationed in home orbit would bear the brunt of Earth's safety.

"I'll just be glad to get real food at night."

"Does your boyfriend cook?"

"Yeah. Like actual food, not mixes and shit. Pretty sure he's the only reason Sam didn't starve in college," Dean explained. The first thing he wanted to do after getting home was fuck Cas through the mattress. The second was eat some of his chicken and dumplings.

"That's half the reason you're dating him, isn't it?"

"...maybe not half, but close."

Jo snorted with laughter and Dean thought he could see genuine affection in her eyes. Whether for him or for the stabilizing force in Dean's life she didn't even know, he couldn't tell. But it made him smile.

"So are you going to marry him when you get home?"

The smile dropped in favor of slack-jawed blankness.

"What?"

One of Jo's eyebrows lifted. "You've been dating him for a pretty long time, right?"

In fact, Dean couldn't be sure the exact date he started seeing Castiel. Sometimes it felt they'd been together from the moment he caught Castiel falling off that step-ladder in his living room. "About three years, I guess."

"Okay, well. I mean, it seems like you are pretty serious about him," she said slowly, as if trying not to spook Dean. "You're not planning on moving on to someone else, are you?"

Dean tried to imagine it. Touching someone else. Waking up beside another person, hearing another laugh at his lame quips, kissing a different smile. Gazing into a pair of eyes that weren’t crystal blue and curious and warm.

It did not compute.

"Fuck, no."

Instead of another chuckle as Dean expected, Jo made a thoughtful sound and leaned forward, placing her chin on one hand. Her eyes darkened at whatever thoughts were cycling through her mind. Nerves knotted up Dean's insides.

"What?"

"When I was home last week, Mom told me about this boy I went to school with, Tyler. He'd been dating this same girl, Kelly. I was friends with her because she told off people all the time," Jo said, a hint of fond memory echoing behind the sad smile on her face. "Anyway, he joined the regular Navy after school and they kept putting off getting married because their lives got so busy, the timing was off, stupid bullshit like that."

Dean seriously didn't like where this story was going.

"Anyway, as I'm sure you've already guessed, he was killed in a skirmish along the Near Earth Asteroids before they were married and Kelly’s been stuck with this house payment she can't afford because she wasn't his spouse. She doesn't get anything and so while she’s dealing with all the grief, she’s also stuck trying to find a way to pay for their life together."

It was far too easy to imagine. Castiel and Dean lived together in same home where Sam and Castiel had lived during school. Sam moved to his own small apartment nearby, so the rent and upkeep was shared just between Dean and Cas. Dean's wages were more than enough to cover the entire expense. But if he died, Castiel's much smaller teacher's salary would never be enough. If they were married, Castiel could get great insurance, use all the military health and support services and be assured of a hefty death pension if anything did happen to Dean.

He was supposed to be taking care of Castiel, but it struck him hard now just how fucked he'd be if Dean was killed in action. Something that wasn't altogether as unlikely as he wished it would be.

"Shit."

"I'm just saying, if you're going to be together anyway..." Jo trailed off for a moment before adding. "I don't mean to be depressing, but I've been thinking about Tyler and Kelly a lot since Mom told me that."

Dean nodded, but his mind was already distracted. Before Jo left to find lunch, Dean had added a third thing to his to-do list.

Ask Castiel to marry him.

**********************

The only problem was that Dean had never considered how he'd propose to someone. The movies always showed proposals as both spontaneous and romantic or as part of an elaborate plan. Dean didn't think he could manage either of those things. Castiel's mind worked best with details and organization. The best way to convince him to marry Dean would be to present his case with logical support.

To that end, Dean copied the documents regarding spouse and death benefits onto an infostick which he tucked safely into this duffel. Where it lay all but forgotten until after the second round of sex. Thinking about anything other than important tasks like kissing down Castiel's spine proved impossible for a long while.

Dean couldn't be happier that he was never going to go four months without seeing or speaking to Castiel ever again.

"I'm tired," Castiel mumbled into Dean's shoulder after that second time. The whole afternoon had been a burst excitement and relief followed by a blur of heat, naked skin and four months of pent up emotion expelled as nonsense words whispered into the dark between them.

"That means I'm awesome."

"No, it means I've been up since 6 AM," Castiel countered, but since he kissed Dean's shoulder after saying it, Dean decided he was still probably awesome.

"So go to sleep."

Sam was going to wake them early anyway, Dean felt sure. Castiel and Sam had met Dean at the station, but Sam promptly dropped them off at the house and told them to 'get the fucking out of the way so we can watch movies tomorrow.' Sam would be disappointed if he thought one night would be enough, but still, Dean appreciated the time to concentrate on Castiel before Sam claimed his attention.

"I don't want to go to sleep," Castiel complained. "You're here."

His tone held a note of disbelief. Dean understood it. Four months didn't sound like much until you experienced it. That was 16 weeks. 120 days. Too many fucking hours to even bother counting up. Dean pulled Castiel closer still. Lying in bed naked was probably a horrible time to bring up the subject, but the idea of all that lost time pressed down on him and before Dean could stop it, his mouth started moving.

"I've been thinking about something."

"There's a first time for everything."

Dean pinched Castiel's ass hard enough to bruise to punish him for his unusual impertinence. The resulting yelp was very satisfying.

"I'm being serious here," Dean grumbled. "I have all this information we should look at."

"Information about what?" Castiel asked, lifting his head to frown at Dean.

"Military benefits and all that shit. My job..." Dean's tongue grew heavy in his mouth. Talking about this was a lot harder than he suspected it'd be. "My job can be kinda dangerous and I don't...I want to take care of you." Before Castiel could put forth his arguments, probably about how they already took care of each other, Dean sat up, dragging Castiel with him. The sheets feel down off Castiel’s body, exposing a great deal of pale smooth flesh to Dean’s eyes. It was almost enough to distract Dean off-topic. "I mean take care in a legal sense. If something happens to me, you'll be left with nothing."

"I don't...Dean, I don't understand what you're trying to say," Castiel said, each word cautious and laden with suspicion. As though he knew exactly what Dean was trying to say, but just couldn't believe it.

"I'm saying...I'm..." Dean grabbed one of Castiel's hands and kept his eyes on their threaded fingers, refusing to look up. "I think we should get married."

Heavy silence met this statement and only grew thicker with each passing moment without either of them speaking. The second it became unbearable, Dean lifted his gaze to see shock and a hint of dismay on Castiel's face. Dean's stomach dropped.

"Cas?"

"Are you proposing to me because you might die?" he hissed.

Well. Put like that, Dean became pretty much the least romantic man of all time.

"I'm...the thing is...I mean. Shit, I'm just saying it'd be easier on you if we were married."

Castiel crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Dean for a good sixty seconds before saying anything.

"No."

"...what?"

"If that's the reason you want to get married, I'm saying no."

For a brief moment, Dean felt certain his heart stopped beating and bile rose up in his throat. Never in a million years would he have imagined a scenario where he'd propose and Castiel would refuse him. Because if Castiel wouldn’t marry him, didn’t that mean he didn’t think they’d last and if so, what was the point of staying together? Fear clogged Dean’s chest. It felt a bit like dying and in his panic, Dean began to babble.

"That's not...what the fuck, no. No, Cas, that's not the reason. That's the...it's the reason I thought you'd want to get married. I mean, because it makes sense. Because you always make sense. About everything and it's like...nothing in the whole world makes more sense than you, Cas. You and me and I've wanted to be with you forever from the first second we met. It just never mattered if we were married or not because it was always like that. And how could you think that? Jesus, Cas, I love you so much I can't even stand it and-"

Castiel kissed his rant to a halt. Kissed with such fierce emotion that it carried him into Dean's space and rolled them back till he was covering Dean's body with his own. "Yes, yes," he muttered against Dean's lips, pressing each yes into his mouth with another kiss. "Yes, I'll marry you."

Dean's heart started beating again.

"Jesus, don't scare me like that, you jerk. I thought-"

Kisses stopped his words again, but Dean didn't care one bit.
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: 2012-01-27 10:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rowdy-missus.livejournal.com
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS 'VERSE SO FRAKKING MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As is abundantly clear by my excessive use of exclamation marks. Ahem. Anyways, yeah, this was *awesome*!!!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
I will always welcome the excessive use of exclamation marks, my dear. *smish*

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-27 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xarixian.livejournal.com
*squee*
YAY THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
TIME TO BOOK THE CHAPEL!

Date: 2012-01-27 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aerilex.livejournal.com
There were noises of incoherency coming out of my mouth for the first five minutes when I spotted this. This entire 'verse is ridiculously adorable but I absolutely love this. It's basically always the best thing in the entire world---like Christmas and birthdays and Easter all wrapped together with a shiny blue bow that matches Castiel's eyes---to see something you wrote pop up.

<3!

Date: 2012-02-01 02:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ash-kah.livejournal.com
"It's basically always the best thing in the entire world---like Christmas and birthdays and Easter all wrapped together with a shiny blue bow that matches Castiel's eyes---to see something you wrote pop up."

THIS.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com - Date: 2012-02-07 02:06 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2012-01-27 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] olympia-m.livejournal.com
oh, i love your fics so, so much! they're all so heart-warming! And this verse is just marvellous!!!! thank you so much!!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
You're very welcome! It's truly my pleasure. :D

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-27 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] maddie-babz.livejournal.com
AAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHH!!!!!!!! GOD I LOVE THIS 'VERSE!!!!!!!!!! Return is my favorite thing you've ever written, and I almost DIED when I found Meet! WRITE MOAR, ZOMG!!!! You're soi amazing, and I LOOOOVEEEE THIS VERSE!! Did I mention that yet? LOVE!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Thank you, bb! Aw, I'm so happy you're enjoying this bit of story. *beams*

Date: 2012-01-27 11:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] beastofthesky.livejournal.com
Oh my god. My fiance is a Marine and this hits home in the best damn possible way. <3

Date: 2012-02-07 02:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Oh good! I was really concerned it would be odd or something because this is something very far out of my realm of experience.

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-27 11:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-blueeyes.livejournal.com
this 'verse is just... IDEHTW *sighs*

also - more please?!
Edited Date: 2012-01-27 11:34 pm (UTC)

Date: 2012-02-07 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
I hope to write more! :D Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 12:00 am (UTC)
ext_38905: (Default)
From: [identity profile] qthelights.livejournal.com
*happy sigh* yes.

Date: 2012-02-07 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
*grin* Thank you, bb.

Date: 2012-01-28 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malcolm-doyle.livejournal.com
This verse does such an impossible amount of work on all my emotions. Like, it stresses me out worrying about Dean's safely and still makes me flail with happiness at the utter adorableness that is their relationship. I just love it all so much!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Oh thank you! That's the best kind of comment to get, really. I appreciate it!

Date: 2012-01-28 12:57 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aliassmith.livejournal.com
Even though we've seen their future I still had a heart stopping moment there where I thought Cas really was going to refuse him.

I am so crazy in love with this verse!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
You and Dean both, lol. The Dean in my head flipped his lid!

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cousinmary.livejournal.com
Loved this! :)

Date: 2012-02-07 02:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 01:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blue-fjords.livejournal.com
Thank you so much!!!!! This filled me w/ such joy. I loved Cas's response to Dean's proposal, and then Dean's reaction to that. So true and beautiful. Plus bonus Jo!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Omg, I forgot to note this was for you! I'll have to fix that when I get done answering the comments. I'm really happy you liked it!

Date: 2012-01-28 01:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] artmetica.livejournal.com
Oh god oh god I LOVE this verse, it gives me all these feelings! *_*
Thank you for writing and sharing more in this verse, this is really beautiful! ^^ ♥

Date: 2012-02-07 02:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Thank you! And you're very welcome. I really enjoy writing this verse...in fact, I might do it again sometime. :D

Date: 2012-01-28 02:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brokentoy.livejournal.com
this was lovely. i now have the hugest smile on my face thanks to you :)

i really hope you'll write more about this verse, maybe see Patrick again? they're all such an adorable family :)

Date: 2012-02-07 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
I would love to see Patrick again! I am certain I'm not done here yet.

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 02:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stolen-childe.livejournal.com
That was wonderful! So cute!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 04:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] reticentric.livejournal.com
*sigh* Looooved this! <3 But it's also kinda sad knowing what they eventually go through. Now I have to reread Return to assure myself everything turns out okay!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
It is a bit sad, I agree, but at least Dean thought ahead to make sure Cas (and unborn bbs) would be taken care of.

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 11:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] agustin1982.livejournal.com
YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!

MARRY! MARRY!! THEY ARE MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!

LOVELY! LOVELY!! I LOVE THIS SO MUCH ♥

Date: 2012-02-07 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Very married. They probably already act married anyway, so might as well make it official, heh.

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 02:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wolfrider89.livejournal.com
*clutches at heart* You always know how to make me feel ALL the feelings! Loved this!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Hee, thank you! :DDDD

Date: 2012-01-28 05:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jem-018.livejournal.com
*screams*
*flails*
*clutches chest*

They are getting married! :D

I just love this verse so much. It's adorable. ♥

Date: 2012-02-07 02:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Too right, they're getting married! Dean wants to put a ring on that.

Heh.

Thank you!

Date: 2012-01-28 11:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ale-minion.livejournal.com
Everything you write makes me feel so good! You have such an amazing talent to create this amazing fics that make me all warm inside. Thank you for writing, you definitely make a difference in this fandom. And keep writing this verse, it's amazing!

Date: 2012-02-07 02:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Oh thank you! I sort of take my self-assigned duty to cheer up this fandom a little really seriously lol. It's good to know that people appreciate it!

Date: 2012-01-30 07:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] the-diggler.livejournal.com
GAH!!!!!!!!! I LOVE THIS VERSE!

I'm so glad that after an LJ hiatus that THIS IS WHAT I FIND.

I beg you, write more of this *whimpering mess*

Date: 2012-02-07 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Heh, thank you! I think I probably will write more soon. I'm glad you like it!

Date: 2012-01-31 03:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] eaconwell.livejournal.com
lol omg that was adorable XD poor dean

Date: 2012-02-07 02:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
lol right? His heart nearly pounded out of his chest. *pets him*

Thank you!

Serious and adorable

Date: 2012-02-01 02:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ash-kah.livejournal.com
I really like how you built Dean's reasonment.
Like It was clear like cristal that I'll never want anyone other than Castiel. That he want to protect him, and not be a bother to him. And that he was so confuse and hurt when Castiel said no...

You dealed with a serious issue in that logical but romantic way very well, epecially by using badass Jo ^^

Thank you for more of this verse in any case - love it! - all the best !

Re: Serious and adorable

Date: 2012-02-07 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Thank you! I was really hoping it would come across the way you've described it, so now I'm very pleased. :D

Date: 2012-02-03 12:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] p-sharkbait.livejournal.com
AHHH they're getting married! OMG I'm so happy for them. Dean you adorable doofus! Hurray for Jo, cause she suggested the idea in the first place. :D
This verse is awesome.

Date: 2012-02-07 02:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Time for a wedding! Which I'm sure Dean will find a way to make ridiculous as well, heh.

Thank you!

Date: 2012-02-05 10:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] library-ghost.livejournal.com
I HAVEN'T EVEN READ IT YET BUT I LOVE THIS VERSE SO MUCH I AM LITERALLY ABOUT TO EXPLODE.

What an incredibly pleasant surprise to find an update on it.

Ugh, I can't handle all these feels. I had to leave something before reading otherwise I was going to go crazy. Thank you!!! (I'm sure this is amazing, reading it now...)

[post-reading]: I'm so happy that they're getting married. I mean I knew they were married but kjahdfkjashdflkjas
Edited Date: 2012-02-05 10:36 am (UTC)

Date: 2012-02-07 02:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cloudyjenn.livejournal.com
Heee, a pre-comment, yes! :DDD I'm glad you were excited and that you did indeed enjoy it. Thank you, bb!
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